21 years later: Remembering Grampa

I did not post this in the rainbow bridge section because this is for a person, and not an animal, and I wanted more people to be able to read it. Thanks.



On May 2nd, 1984, my Grampa passed away, while missioning in the Phillippines. I was 6 years old at the time. I remember very little about him, which, when I think about it, devastates me. From what my family tells me, we were extremely close! We had this incredible bond! They have definitely kept his memory alive for me. Some of the stories that have been told through the years, I know by heart, and I almost think I remember them, but know that it is just because I know the stories so well, and dont actually 'remember' the events as they happened. Now more than ever, I find myself mourning this loss that I faced 21 years ago. I feel it is truely a loss, because I was so young when he was taken from me. A loss because I remember so little, and didnt get a chance to grow up with my "Bompah". I wish he could have been there when my boys were born, and when I got married. Or when I graduated high school. Still, after all these years, I feel a bond, a closeness that I cant describe. Sometimes I almost get the feeling that he is there. Like all of a sudden he will just 'pop' in my head. This started happening for me on December 22nd, his birthday (which at the time, on that day, I didnt even remember was his birthday. It wasnt untill a family member mentioned it later).
I went to see him today at Willamette National Cemetary, where they have his ashes in a wall. I took him flowers, talked to him, and cried. I even kissed the placcard goodbye.

Has anyone else had experiences like this? How did you deal with it? What helps you? And... after several years of I guess, 'just living life & dealing with it" did the loss finally hit you?

I wasn't young when I lost my Grandpa (on my Mom's side) I was in my mid 20's. On my birthday, I was going to go see my grandparents on my way to my Dad' place but got behind in things and had to cancel the grandparents. I still, to this day 11 years later, remember my Grandpa saying, "Well, we'll catch ya next time". He fell down the next day and ended up in the hospital and then had an aneurysm that killed him. I, to this day, regret not making enough time to see him. But, how are you to know??? THAT is the eternal question!

GrandDad died Jan 1993, Step-Grandmother died early 1994, GrandPa died late 1994 and Grandma died late 1997. All 4 grandparents in 4 years.

Ironically, after they had all passed, I really got into Geneaology. I had just started getting into it about 1993. It is really neat to see the pictures of my Grandpa when he was young. His family took ALOT of pictures! I even have 2 pictures of my Great-Great-Great Grandmother!! She is really old in them though!

What a painful day for you as you honor your Bompah. You know, he was with you when your boys were born, when when you got married, and when you graduated high school. He was with you in your heart, as he will always be. He knows just how much you love him, and one special day, you will be reunited. How wonderful that you went to visit his earthly resting place. It's so important that you allow yourself to feel these intense feelings you are experiencing.

The one thing that I wish I could have shared with him, is my children. I know that he was there at all of the important events of my life, like Dawnof Sierra said, but I wish that my boys could have known him too. Just to see them playing with their Great Grampa would be a joy. He was such a joker & comedian, I wish my boys could have had that too. I know that we will be together again one day, but all I want to do is HUG him. Just hug him. And hear his laugh again. The few things I remember are his laugh (when he ws really tickled about something, he would laugh so hard he would wheeze), he gave wonderful hugs; they were so warm and loving, and his hands. I remember his hands most of all. Thank you for letting me share this with you all.

my grandpa on my mother's side died when my mother was 2 years old, it's very hard on her sometimes, my mother's great uncle was like my grandpa though and we were very close when i was little, we shared the same birthday...(i'm the 4th generation in my family to be born on march 4th) and always celebrated together, i watched him burn to death in a fire when i was 4 and i'll never forget that day! it never really hit me until i met my husbands grandpa, and wished so much that i would have had a grandpa to grow up with and love on (my husbands family hates me, but seeing what it was like for them to have a granpa made me realize what i missed out on) i never had a grandpa on my dad's side either he died before i was born...sometimes though, i can still smell my uncle bill, and i know he watches over me!

Originally Posted by dawnofsierra

What a painful day for you as you honor your Bompah. You know, he was with you when your boys were born, when when you got married, and when you graduated high school. He was with you in your heart, as he will always be. He knows just how much you love him, and one special day, you will be reunited. How wonderful that you went to visit his earthly resting place. It's so important that you allow yourself to feel these intense feelings you are experiencing.

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Stephanie is absolutely right. For me, it was my grandmother, she died almost two years ago (June 13, 2003). It is still very hard for me, but I cope knowing one day we will be reunited again. I go to sleep some nights hearing her sing to me, and I know that comes from my heart--she had an amazing voice. I don't think there is a day that goes by I didn't see or talk to her before she died. It was sudden. What you are experiencing is so wonderful and don't be scared of the feelings you are having because they are there for a reason, for you to be and feel closer to the grandfather you were close to as a child. Keep your head up, he is with you always