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Hey Deb (Myers)

post #1 of 32
Thread Starter 
if it's not to personal, I would love to hear about the child you adopted.
post #2 of 32
Don't have to ask me twice! (Shameless mom here.)

My husband and I suffered the death of a child in 1976. After many years of being lonely for a child - but afraid to have another one by birth - we started thinking of adoption. I didn't realize how lonesome for the love of a child I was until I met Rog. He was soooooo cute - and melted our hearts.

Rog was adopted when he as 5 1/2 yrs old. He came from a house where love and compassion were not known to him. He was tied to a bed and left to drink water out of the toilet, when he could get loose. He was cold and hungry and unloved. He was beaten daily with a belt and other objects. His birth mom had surrendered him when he was 6 months old and was in and out of Foster Homes until his birth father and new woman took him in. It was at that time, that most of the neglect and abuse took place. Child Protective Serivces finally stepped in and removed him. He spent 1 month in the hospital before he was well enough to go to a foster home. We started visits 2 months after that. Rog was so malnurished that when we had a 'adoption party' at the office, he wore size 2T. That is small for a kid almost 6 years old. After a summer of adjusting to a new family, he started school - something the 'professionals' said he would not do well at. We now have a Sr in highschool and one of the smartest kids I know. He has a charming girlfriend and works part time after school. He is popular with his friends and kind to all our animals. Rog is going on to college in the Fall to study computer skills - he is a WIZ! Told you I am a shameless mom!
Adoption gave us a sense of being complete. Is he my own child? YES HE IS! The courts made the decision to place Roger with another family - and I am grateful that they did. I think that Adoption is a great gift - one to be cherished and not taken for granted. Life is too short to wonder what if I ........ etc.

We celebrate "Family Day" - that is June 2nd - the day we became a family. We also celebrate "Adoption Day" which is October 30th - that was the day our adoption was final so long ago.
Life is good when you love a child and BETTER whe one loves you back.
post #3 of 32
I had tears in my eyes while I read your post. You are a true testament of love and faith for this little boy who needed so much TLC to make his way back to the land of the living. God bless you for being so nourishing, and though you put this into a quick synopsis for us on the board, I imagine for all concerned it was not an easy path to travel all the time. Big hugs!
post #4 of 32
What a beautiful story!

How could anyone be so cruel to a child? I can't even fathom the mentality of anyone who could do those things.

Rog sounds like he has grown to be a fine young man, no doubt you played a major role in that! You obviously adore him and are very proud, and it sounds like you have every right to be!

It takes a special person to adopt a child, and especially one who has been so traumatized...you all are very lucky to have found each other.
post #5 of 32
Thread Starter 
I have tears in my eyes as well. You literally saved his life, gave him hope and the ability to become his own person. God bless you for that. And I know what you get back from him probably makes you feel like you're the one whos life was saved.
post #6 of 32
Thank you all - he is truly a special kid in so many ways.

Hissy - the story had to be short, otherwise, I would take up all the room. He did indeed go through some unimaginable horrors - but is a survivor!
AP - you are right about us receiving from Rog. When we adopted, friends would say, oh, you are so nice and he is so lucky - well in our home, it is just the opposite - WE are the lucky ones to have him!

We did not change his first name - due to his age, but Rog and his father picked out a new middle name to signify a new beginning. They chose David from the Bible - a little guy who overcame such a big obstacle! Sure fits here.

OOPS.......forgot got to mention - that Rog looks sooooooo much like my hubby that I tease him about 'wandering' :tounge2:
post #7 of 32
What an incredible story. You are a wonderful person to do what you've done, and Rog is very lucky to have a set of parents like you!
My husband and I have always said that perhaps someday we would adopt. We have two of our own, but I would love to share my love with a child who needs it.
You have inspired me.
post #8 of 32
How long did it take you to find Rog? And how long before the whole adoption procedure was completed? Again, I think it is a wonderful thing you did for that little boy who knew nothing but cruelty. My hat is off to you!
post #9 of 32
I happen to work for the County in Social Services, so I knew of Rog right after he was removed by CPS. I saw his pathetic little picture they had and said - he is mine!
We had to certify and do the home study process - that took aout 6 months. Our adoption took 16 months. It was a longer time than some, as he was an older child. We had begun the certification process before I knew of Roger. Most states have classes that are mandatory - and an extensive home study and background check. It is worth the hassel, though. If I had a scanner - I would show you the end results. NYS has books at the local dept of Social Services that prospective parents can review when looking for a child. Most children are older and have had a long hx of problems at home. Sweet sweet children - all needing a home.
post #10 of 32
You and your husband are very special people.Your friends and family must be very proud of you. Its not just your child but all you do for the cats in your community too. Let me thank you for being you!!!!
post #11 of 32
Thread Starter 
I second that singraham!
post #12 of 32
You are making me blush!
post #13 of 32
Oh Deb, your story made me cry, too!!! You and your hubby are absolute angels to have adopted him, and given him so much love!!! He sounds like he has turned into a very wonderful young man, and all due to the love he got from you both!!!!!!
I already liked you ALOT, but now I have even more love in my heart for you!!

I have been trying to get pregnant for several months now, but since I am 36 I am worried I may not be able to, and have also considered adopting, if I can't get pregnant. I wasn't sure about it, until I read your posts, and now I know that if I can't get pregnant, I will try to adopt!!!!!!
post #14 of 32
Thanks Debby - you will be such a good mom!
post #15 of 32

WOW!! I never heard that story! You are truly an angel. BTW I have a scanner so if you ever want to post a pic just bring it in and I'll scan it for you. Since I have never seen his picture I will have to stop by your office and check him out!
post #16 of 32
Debby, you are truly a wonderful person! What an angel I don't really know what to say to your story - its just too wonderful!!! Im so glad that you are all doing so well and that your son is doing great at college!! You must be SOOOOO proud of him! You and your Hubby are absolute stars.
post #17 of 32
You and your hubby are such wonderful people for adopting!
post #18 of 32
Thread Starter 
I got your email and I'm going to email you back. I've just been crazy, and I want to sit down where it's quiet and concentrate.
post #19 of 32
Ok Can't wait to hear form you again!
My friend Janice at work (KC here) took a couple pics of Rog home with her tonight to use with her scanner - hope you all get to see them soon!
post #20 of 32
Thread Starter 
great! I can't wait to see him and his proud mom!
post #21 of 32
Debra, how brave and selfless you and your hubby were to adopt this poor child. It must have taken extra nerve since you work in social services and know what psychological damage this kind of abuse can do to a child. It truly shows how great you and hubby are that you rescued this child and raised him to be a healthy and bright young man. Bravo!!!
post #22 of 32
Okay here goes. I hope it works, this is my first time posting a photo here. This is Rog and his dad!!
post #23 of 32
Thread Starter 
2 little peas in a pod!
post #24 of 32
Oops, I forgot to mention that the previous pic was from 1991! This is a pic of Rog and his girlfriend earlier this year.
post #25 of 32
Janice.......kisses and kitty hugs to you for posting these for me!
Thank you from the whole house!
PS - (and Janice is in charge of the paychecks at the office too! Can't get a much better buddy than that!)
post #26 of 32
Thread Starter 
Rog and his girlfriend look so happy
post #27 of 32
What a nice picture, and such a cute couple
post #28 of 32
They had just gotten home from her sister's wedding that day. They do enjoy each other's company.
Everyone's interest and suppport here in having me tell our family story has really meant a lot to me.
Thank you
post #29 of 32
What an amazing story. Even hubby got teary. He was a ward of the state himself for a while. A little love goes a long way toward helping people get past the crap. How wonderful that you all have that.
post #30 of 32
My husband and I married late in life. For me, the first and his second.I was 36 when we married. At the time we both agreed no children,I had my cat who took the place of a child.Now my biological clock has started ticking away and I would LOVE a little girl. But my husband is fine with the way things are.My first cat had to be put to sleep because of kidney disease and we have since adopted two cats from our local animal shelter.But I have to admit I get a little misty eyed looking at children.
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