Nicky, please please get out now. Do whatever you must, but do NOT say anything about the sites you found, or the girl who MSNed you! Nicky, you have me worried about your safety, here now. If he throws you around the room, corners you, and yells at you to stop screaming in fear, he's only going to get worse, and worse, until the day you won't be able to get out. He's not worth it. He's trash, and I know you can do so much better. Please, just get out of there safely, and never fall for his hypnotism of saying he's sorry ever again.
Please don't feel stupid, Nicky. Love is blinding. I understand that. I know I'm young, and I haven't met a special guy, but I can understand, still. My brother was engaged to the wicked witch of the west, who manipulated him, and told him he couldn't go out and have fun with his friends, yet she could go out with hers! But, he broke up with her. And you know what? Because he finally left her, he met the woman of his dreams, and is now happily married.
So, don't feel stupid, and don't feel like someone will judge you, because, everyone can understand. Honestly, the only way someone will probably judge you is if you stay with this jerk. Now, I'm not saying that we are going to, because like I said, love is a complicated thing, and is blinding, but as a friend, I am begging you to leave him. Get out. He's abusive, he's unstable, and I fear for you, Nicky.
Remember, that I'm always here if you need someone to talk to. You can IM me over AIM, at ChatterboxCAB, or you can PM me. I'll be here for you as much as I can.
I hope that nothing I have said will upset you, and that you will do the right thing.