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what would you do?

post #1 of 21
Thread Starter 
i have a story for all of you.

a 6 yr old boy (ages are approx) touches a little girl where she shouldnt be touched and tells the little girl if she tells her parents he wont be her friend anymore and that its there secret.

the 5 yr old little girl was playing with some other little girls who lived down the block two girls that were sisters would play with the little boy werent allowed looked at the ground when they said this. the 5 yr old couldnt understand why she asked the girls further they replied they werent allowed to talk about it.

the little girl who tells her mother everything told her mother. her mother at an age of 38 and was a victum of child molest. was at a stand still she didnt know what to do her child was touched by another child she couldnt get the rage most mothers would feel. she knew this was all wrong but it was another little child a boy not much older then her daughter she was at a lost for ideas. so she decides to talk to the boys mother and decide on what to do from there. while talking with the boys mother with the little girl present and not the boy they learn the boy knows it is indeed wrong to do that. and that it wasnt his first occurenence that the little boy did this to two sisters about the little girls age. the mother and daughter also learn that the little boy was touched by his father and his father was away now.

the little boy learns of the 5 yr olds telling her mother. the little boy tells the little girl he wont be her friend anymore. the little girl is in a confusion and at a lost for this is a all such a bigger picture she cant understand. the little boy kills the little girls dog for her bad behavior.

now the little girl is 18 and is still lost as to what to call it all. (let me know if you have gotten lost or are confused tell me where you got confused and i will tell the story better)
post #2 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by crazykitten
i have a story for all of you.

a 6 yr old boy (ages are approx) touches a little girl where she should be touched and tells the little girl if she tells her parents he wont be her friend anymore and that its there secret.

the little boy learns of the 5 yr olds telling her mother. the little boy tells the little girl he wont be her friend anymore. the little girl is in a confusion and at a lost for this is a all such a bigger picture she cant understand. the little boy kills the little girls dog for her bad behavior.

now the little girl is 18 and is still lost as to what to call it all. (let me know if you have gotten lost or are confused tell me where you got confused and i will tell the story better)
In the first line of the first paragraph, I believe you meant "shouldn't", correct?

I have no idea what to tell you. Of course, this child has been violated, but the perpetrator is another small child.

Having said that, what scares me the most about this story is that the boy wasn't remorseful for the abuse, and he decided to even the score by killing the girl's dog once discovered. There's a possibility that this boy (now a man) is walking the streets as a sociopath.
post #3 of 21
Thread Starter 
yes shouldnt is the correct word thank you for pointing that out to me. i would like to hear other peoples thoughts on this
post #4 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by vespacat
Having said that, what scares me to most about this story is that the boy wasn't remorseful for the abuse, and he decided to even the score by killing the girl's dog once discovered. There's a possibility that this boy (now a man) is walking the streets as a sociopath.
That was my reaction. too. I'd say there's a very strong possibility that he's a sociopath. I wonder if there was any history of bedwetting and/or arson, too.
post #5 of 21
I would have to go with the other two replies here. The boy was obviously showing some sociopathic tendencies and that doesn't just go away, it gets worse with time. As for the little girl, I would suggest she get counseling to cope with any after effects that she may, or may not know she has.
post #6 of 21
I agree with the above advice. However, what really bothers me about the story is the little girl's reaction now, all these years later. Her feelings about the boy, the death of her dog and the actions of the adults, still loom large in her psyche. She has a lot of feelings that are unresolved; she really needs to speak with a therapist, hopefully a therapist that has a lot of experience and insight into child abuse issues.
post #7 of 21
It's a sad world when little people have to experience this kind of junk. And it seems like it's everywhere!

The little girl did right to tell. Some secrets shouldn't be secret. He was wrong to have killed her dog in retaliation. That act is very scary in itself--especially at age six!

Hopefully, the girl is old enough now to understand that what happened wasn't her fault. She was a victim. And I hope that six year old boy (now 19) has found a more constructive way to deal with his anger towards his father.

I agree with Mom of Franz. The girl should talk to a therapist or a counselor to work through her feelings of bewilderment and sorrow.
post #8 of 21
Thread Starter 
i would just like to point out that little girl was me
post #9 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by crazykitten
i would just like to point out that little girl was me
i had that feeling as i was reading it... are you and the boy still in contact with one another? do you know if he has been counciled? have you?

that is a horrible, horrible thing to have happened to both of you, and whether you or him feel you need it, talking to a therapist would help

something this traumatic can have real bad effects on you two as adults, it can drive someone to depression and seclusion or they can do what happend to them to other people... either way, it needs to be dealt with, with a few years or more of therapy.

just an opinion
post #10 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by crazykitten
i would just like to point out that little girl was me
untill i got to here i was goign to ask if it was you or somebody in your family because you technically wrote it from your heart.

I think you should go to a councillor or some sort of help.

What did your family do when he killed your dog?
Do you still have contact with him?
post #11 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by crazykitten
i would just like to point out that little girl was me
I wondered. I don't have any advice to add, just to encourage you to follow that which has already been given. Clearly there are issues as yet unresolved, and you don't need the negative effects on your life any longer. That you have brought the question up here does indicate you want to do what is necessary to move beyond it, and that's a good thing.
post #12 of 21
I'm so sorry you had to go through all of this. I hope the boy has gotten help. Have you spoken to anyone about this?

I hope that you will look into speaking to someone about this who has experience in these situations. I feel really bad for you, and that he took the life of your dog
post #13 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by crazykitten
i would just like to point out that little girl was me
I figured that much. I understand the boy was abused, and is probably dealing with his own issues, but that's not your problem, and he had absolutely NO right to violate you.

I would agree with some others here, that until you seek counselling for this (it's still very much on your mind, understandably so), it will continue to haunt you.

Good luck with your healing and it was brave of you to share.
post #14 of 21
I'm sorry you had to go through that. It's a scary thing to go through as a child. Especially when the other child acts out like that. I agree with everyone else here that you might seek counciling. However I would also avoid that boy, I know it sounds unforgiving but he killed her dog. Regardless of how old they were when he did it, he sounds like he could be dangerous.
post #15 of 21
Its a wonderful thing that your mother made it clear to you that you could tell her anything at such an early age.I cant even imagine what you woul've went through had you not told her. This boys father was a deamon and so was ( or is He). I can only wonder what else he has done to other girls who are too afraid to speak out.I only wish the proper authorities had been notified so that this could be prevented in the future.I can only speculate that his behavior will get worse.I dont know what the protocall is on something like this but I wonder if you can still notify someone about this.
post #16 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by crazykitten
yes shouldnt is the correct word thank you for pointing that out to me. i would like to hear other peoples thoughts on this
Oh, honey - you went through so much! Please get into some kind of therapy. Was anything done at the time? Did your mom get you any kind of help? What about the boy? After your mom & his mom talked did he get any help? That would have been the time. It breaks my heart that he killed your dog! He was a sick person then and without help there is little doubt that he is a very dangerous person. Please stay away from him.
post #17 of 21
The first thing is to say how fantastic it is that you can talk about it. That is half way to recovering. And it is really important you get it all out now and deal with it or your life could be a disaster. Something similar happened to me and I was never able, or allowed, to talk about it and I have never really been happy in relationships or two marriages, which I blame partly on what happened in childhood. So go and see someone, you will I am sure feel refreshed and able to start anew, I wish I had.
post #18 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mferr84
i had that feeling as i was reading it... are you and the boy still in contact with one another? do you know if he has been counciled? have you?

that is a horrible, horrible thing to have happened to both of you, and whether you or him feel you need it, talking to a therapist would help

something this traumatic can have real bad effects on you two as adults, it can drive someone to depression and seclusion or they can do what happend to them to other people... either way, it needs to be dealt with, with a few years or more of therapy.

just an opinion
to answer your questions no im still not in contact with him i have absolutely no clue where he is all i know is his name. i have not had much counciling on it i have joined support groups other then that i dont really mess with it
post #19 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by fwan
untill i got to here i was goign to ask if it was you or somebody in your family because you technically wrote it from your heart.

I think you should go to a councillor or some sort of help.

What did your family do when he killed your dog?
Do you still have contact with him?
i should correct myself the dog was still alive when he got done just the dog was in such bad condition such as ruptured lung type of thing. my mom had it put to sleep and since she couldnt techincally prove it was him it was the testimony of other kids are age and he admited to me.
post #20 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LaceyDF
I'm so sorry you had to go through all of this. I hope the boy has gotten help. Have you spoken to anyone about this?

I hope that you will look into speaking to someone about this who has experience in these situations. I feel really bad for you, and that he took the life of your dog
my mom knew about it i told my dad when i was 12 i told my aunt and when i was in the hospital for being stupid i told my therapist there
post #21 of 21
Thread Starter 
the boy was getting thearpy at the time and since i was so young i didnt understand what happend to me when i was much older. my mom i guess in her way tried to get me to talk about things but since i didnt understand and i didnt say i didnt talk about it. i have been to counslors for other reasons and i have told them what happend to me and all they did was ask me what exactly happend and they never went beyond that. they didnt ask and i didnt tell i never have talked much about it i dont know what im supposed to say. i understand it has effected my relationship life. i have moments when i find some things absolutley dirty.
as for the boy his name is nate i know he is about my age and that he had brown hr when he was little and he has a baby sister and that i think his mom got remarried but me and my mom moved and i dont think i've seen him since. no authorties where ever called on nate or his family my father didnt find out till he was 12 because my father could be honestly a violent man and my mother belived that him trying to kill a 6 yrold wouldnt be good regardless. my mom was more hopefull that nate did something bad that he would i guess "get fixed". she thought that he was so young that there was hope for him to change
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