OK. Gary's been in a major depression, with a "who cares" attitude. I could not get him to go to his appointment to get the results of the exploratory surgery/colonoscopy. He continued throwing up blood, and they wanted him in for an EGD AND surgery to remove the polyps right away, but he refused the next day appt they had for him. He continued to refuse to schedule the EGD and he ended up cancelling the surgery.
I rescheduled the appointment to get his test results (there's a lot of cancer in his family history, and a lot of it at a young age) for June 3.
We've been continuing to have a lot of problems with Naomi (surprise, surprise), though there's been a lot of progress, too, and I'll update that separately in her thread.
I think Gary's having some kind of nervous breakdown/midlife crisis, and though it would be easy to point at our adopting a homeless heroin addict and say "well, what did you expect," quite frankly, though it's part of it, a lot of it is work-related, and now he's scared for his health - and reacting by doing nothing.
The stress of all of this ended up with him getting strep throat (did go to the family practitioner) Monday. He took his meds like he was supposed to through yesterday, then fell back into the "who cares" funk.
This morning I slapped him, told him he needed to get his sh** together, and if he wasn't going to deal with this, then there was no point to anything, and we should find the cats homes, hold a house sale and get rid of it all, send Naomi back to the street after splitting up the money three ways, and he could take off in the RV while I head to my parents to figure out what I'm going to do with the rest of my life.
He was obviously really pissed at first, and stormed outside (didn't take off). Came back a little while later apologetic. He said he's been thinking about it all wrong, and I'm right, he's not alone in this world. In the meantime, I called the local hospital's "mental health emergency" number (couldn't get a hold of the family shrink), and Naomi, Gary and I went for an emergency "pow-wow."
Bottom-line: Gary seems to be out of his funk. I know one session isn't enough to fix anything, but a family session with a new perspective focussed on Gary instead of Naomi and the routines we fall into with the same person seems to really have helped. Gary's decided his career isn't over (a different long story), that I'm not against him, and that Naomi isn't purposefully trying to hurt him (though intellectually he's always understood that, emotionally he's been reacting very badly). We made a lot of decisions as a family, and most of them need to be in the Naomi update.
Anyway, we'll see what happens. I'm very scared for Gary's physical health, though now Gary seems to understand (and more importantly is willing to get help for) his mental health - and the focus needs to be on Gary and I too, not just Naomi.
BTW - Tuxie's health hasn't helped Gary's funk at all, though Tuxie's hanging in there, we didn't get good news today on that.
Anyway, I really ought to start writing a book - or several of them! This has been an unbelievable couple of years, really, and it just doesn't seem to let up. But I pointed out to Gary today that the indication of the "health" of a family, person or career isn't how many times you get knocked down - it's how many times you get back up. And if Tuxie can fight against all the odds with the success that he has been, he/we sure can, and owe it to Tuxie if not ourselves. And that was a good guilt ploy.