Gary's been bleeding in all the wrong places...

I don't want to upset you, but once Gary is done with his tests and gets to the bottom of his symptoms, it may be a good idea to meet with a genetic counselor who specializes in cancer genetics. Pancreatic cancer can be inherited. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Gary during this difficult time. Keep us updated.

Prayers for you, Gary, and Naomi. I don't think he should be in pain and throwing up blood until May 4. Maybe if you call the doc Monday, they can try changing Protonix to something else.

Part of this is undoubtedly the stress of worry over Naomi. But she is also a good example of not quitting. So Gary is afraid of the hospital? She was afraid of treatment. Maybe she can go with him, to help hold his hand before the colonoscopy?

((((((Hugs to all)))))))

Oh, Laurie, my heart goes out to you and Gary! I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this is something minor and easily treatable.

Gary is in my thoughts, Laurie!

Oh goodness Laurie I am saying a prayer and keeping my fingers crossed for improved help for Gary and recovery for Naomi! What a turbulent year this has been for me. You and your family are in my thoughts.

I can't thank all of you enough for your help, thoughts, prayers and suggestions. Doc said there's polyps, bleeding hemerroids (sp?) and a tumor-like growth. He took tissue samples and I'm not sure yet when we'll get results. He didn't see any evidence of colon cancer, however, so that's good news (especially with his family history!).

This has really been the week from hell, though. Naomi has been really upset and worried - but then being basically completely sociopathic and forgetting that Gary needed to be relaxing, that this is really stressful for him, and being very selfish and inconsiderate. But you can't get angry, because she's not mentally well. What's been so upsetting is that we've been pointing out to her the drastic inconsistencies in her behavior - and she thinks we're being unreasonable and not only is she now not in a place where she wants to work on getting better, she keeps bringing up how she wants to get off the paxil (which is only minimally helping recently). I don't know where we go from here - especially because BOTH psychs we/she sees are on vacation this week!

The dysfunctional family rollercoaster is in high gear!

I haven't heard your story before but I gotta say..You sure is one strong woman!
Be well and take care of yourself too

Cheers

Gary continues to be in my thoughts as the medical results come through. And so do you and Naomi!

If the Paxil is working, she should keep with it. If not, there are other choices of meds. She has stuck with Paxil this long, she can keep with it for another week.

Please know that (for Gary) finding the problem is the first step to correcting it. Treatments are so much better now than they were years ago, I'm sure there will be help for Gary. And as Naomi stays sober, she will begin to mature and grow up. Hopefully she will start to be more supportive. Hugs to you all.

Oh, I just realized that Naomi is an addict. I get it now...I didn't understand why the methadone came up...Again, I hope all gets better for you soon...

I hope all Gary's tests come back ok Laurie and that Naomi learns to reach out and support you too in return for all the love and support you're providing for her. It must be hard - her problems must seem all-consuming right now; but thinking outside of herself would make your lives a lot better right now.

Maybe once she realises that you still love and care for her, but that not all problems revolve around her things may settle down a little.

Keeping you all in my thoughts. I hope you're looking after yourself in all this.

OK. Gary's been in a major depression, with a "who cares" attitude. I could not get him to go to his appointment to get the results of the exploratory surgery/colonoscopy. He continued throwing up blood, and they wanted him in for an EGD AND surgery to remove the polyps right away, but he refused the next day appt they had for him. He continued to refuse to schedule the EGD and he ended up cancelling the surgery.

I rescheduled the appointment to get his test results (there's a lot of cancer in his family history, and a lot of it at a young age) for June 3.

We've been continuing to have a lot of problems with Naomi (surprise, surprise), though there's been a lot of progress, too, and I'll update that separately in her thread.

I think Gary's having some kind of nervous breakdown/midlife crisis, and though it would be easy to point at our adopting a homeless heroin addict and say "well, what did you expect," quite frankly, though it's part of it, a lot of it is work-related, and now he's scared for his health - and reacting by doing nothing.

The stress of all of this ended up with him getting strep throat (did go to the family practitioner) Monday. He took his meds like he was supposed to through yesterday, then fell back into the "who cares" funk.

This morning I slapped him, told him he needed to get his sh** together, and if he wasn't going to deal with this, then there was no point to anything, and we should find the cats homes, hold a house sale and get rid of it all, send Naomi back to the street after splitting up the money three ways, and he could take off in the RV while I head to my parents to figure out what I'm going to do with the rest of my life.

He was obviously really pissed at first, and stormed outside (didn't take off). Came back a little while later apologetic. He said he's been thinking about it all wrong, and I'm right, he's not alone in this world. In the meantime, I called the local hospital's "mental health emergency" number (couldn't get a hold of the family shrink), and Naomi, Gary and I went for an emergency "pow-wow."

Bottom-line: Gary seems to be out of his funk. I know one session isn't enough to fix anything, but a family session with a new perspective focussed on Gary instead of Naomi and the routines we fall into with the same person seems to really have helped. Gary's decided his career isn't over (a different long story), that I'm not against him, and that Naomi isn't purposefully trying to hurt him (though intellectually he's always understood that, emotionally he's been reacting very badly). We made a lot of decisions as a family, and most of them need to be in the Naomi update.

Anyway, we'll see what happens. I'm very scared for Gary's physical health, though now Gary seems to understand (and more importantly is willing to get help for) his mental health - and the focus needs to be on Gary and I too, not just Naomi.

BTW - Tuxie's health hasn't helped Gary's funk at all, though Tuxie's hanging in there, we didn't get good news today on that.

Anyway, I really ought to start writing a book - or several of them! This has been an unbelievable couple of years, really, and it just doesn't seem to let up. But I pointed out to Gary today that the indication of the "health" of a family, person or career isn't how many times you get knocked down - it's how many times you get back up. And if Tuxie can fight against all the odds with the success that he has been, he/we sure can, and owe it to Tuxie if not ourselves. And that was a good guilt ploy.

oh my, my dear Laurie!!!! How I wish I could send a fairy to wave a magic wand your way!!! But I am sending huge kitty and human vibes of the best kind. Please have faith, please have faith that there will be good light at the end of this.

Laurie, you are one amazing woman...I am sending positive wishes, prayers and thoughts for you, Gary, Naomi, Tuxie, all of you, with so much to offer and give and share, just want all of you to be as well as can be.

Gosh Laurie, I was really hoping for better news about Gary's health, but it sounds like it's going to get back on track - both mentally and physically. Sending lots of to BOTH of you!!!

Oh Laurie..Honey....

Originally Posted by Sweets

Laurie, I've developed GERD and IBS due to stress. Thank goodness my stomach is usually filled so no ulcers.

I wish Gary luck with the colonoscopy. I got tubed from both ends so I can tell him from experience, the procedures are not worth getting upset over. You're sedated, but not asleep for the colonoscopy.

Click to expand...

I agree with Sweets about the tests I also had a baruim done and really none of them were much, Much good luck to Gary

Wow, Laurie, I'm out of touch with all of your hurdles!! I'm sending mega vibes and prayers for you, for Gary, for Naomi, for Tuxie, for all of you -- what a lot you are having to deal with!!!

Please take good care of you -- seems you're the one who's doing the support role for everyone else -- don't forget to keep your batteries charged