Moved in w/the girlfriend & our cats have declared war...

Greetings everyone. New member here and need some serious advice on introducing 2 new cats to each other (I apologize in advance for this looong msg.) Bolo (10 yrs) and I have moved into my girlfriend's house, who has her own cat (kitten I should say,) Boots who is just over 7 mos. Both are neutered, still clawed and (when alone) very friendly and affectionate cats. I tried following the guidelines from a couple of pieces of books I've read about introducing new cats together and kept them separate since we've moved in, which is now about a week. I keep Bolo in the basement apt which has most of my furniture & belongings, probably keeping a familiar scent around him. The very next morning after I brought him in, a chance sighting from across the room had Bolo growling at Boots, who was eagerly wanting to check him out closer, probably to play. After the first sign of a hiss and retreat from Bolo, I decided to separate the two again. THe rest of that day and the next, Bolo would hear Boots on the other side of the door and instantly growl and hiss. During the week, Boots would sometimes come charging in and little by little, they would start sniffing each other nose to nose for a few seconds, before Bolo begins his hissing and growling and scurries under the bed, with Boots tailing him looking for a playmate. Bolo would hiss & swipe a bit, and Boots would keep his distance, then I would separate them. I saw the sniffing as a positive sign and gradually increased the rate of these encounters. Until the seventh day, when I think Boots can roam around with Bolo for a little bit of an extended period, and Bolo decides to attack Boots. Both were screeching and howling and somehow I managed to separate them (at the cost of some severe scratches!) Our neighbor upstairs, who has had many similar experiences with introductions like this, suggested to just let them duke it out. She even took Boots downstairs and stayed in the room with them as they screetched and howled at each other, maintaining that all I had to do is let them be and just squirt water on them and they'll eventually separate, get used to each other, and that this is normal. I can't in good conscience be watching TV and just listen to my cats tearing each other apart. Is that really the best way, or did the introduction go too fast? Is that Vanilla trick or Faliway really effective? Any advice on this would be most appreciated, as I am really upset at the possibility these cats will never get along... and that one might have to go. Thank you.

Goodness, throw some water on that neighbor! What bad advice! You don't ever force two cats together like that, you let them find each other accidentally and you try not to interfere. If they do lock together in battle, you can either take a wooden dining room chair and carefully set it over them- not on them, this will startle them apart and keep you from getting battle wounds. Or you can take a dark blanket and toss over them to achieve the same purpose.

Most of what you are describing sounds perfectly natural for two cats adjusting to each other- when they are screeching and growling are they posturing? Or are they locked in battle? Have they gone into mid-air in battle? Or are they staying apart and just bluffing each other?

How is your stress level when all this is going on? Do you yell at them to quit? Don't yell, it just feeds their emotional level. I can recommend an excellent book- cat vs cat by Pamela Johnson Bennett.

The last couple of face offs were a mix of both posturing and fighting, with Bolo (the older cat) being the definite aggressor. My stress level is through the roof right when they are doing this, but mostly out of fear to what they'll do to each other ( and maybe me! ) I've seen that with the first fight, and when my neighbor was referee-ing the last 2, that a quick stomp, yell and water squirt does in fact get them to separate. She does this rather fearlessly, as she claims (with many testimonials from her own friends and family) that this is in fact the best way to get them acclimated to each other. For myself, I can't see this being the best way. I do believe some of the excerpts I've read are from that book you recommended, and I fully intend to pick it up this week. Will that Vanilla trick on the neck help out a bit with the attacks, or that Feliway stuff? If any do help, what's the timetable to apply the vanilla or Feliway, and attempt another encounter, keeping in mind that these brawls were only just yesterday, Sunday 4/10...?

Keep your neighbor away from your cats- holy moley! Everything she does not only adds to their stress level, but also to yours. Honestly it is better if she just takes an exit until the cats get acclimated to each other.

The Comfort Zone Room Diffusers will help I would get a couple. When you go and buy the vanilla extract- get pure vanilla not imitation. You want to put the extract on them several times a day- under their chin, between their shoulders and on the base of their tail.

Do you have cat condos, or places they can get off the floor and be safe? Cat perches in the windows? Anything that will give them different levels- this is how you find out which one is alpha and which one is submissive. The one who takes the lowest point off the floor is submissive. My husband (bless his heart) a few years ago, threw together a nifty door out of pvc pipe, chicken wire (attached by cable ties) and hinges. This door is what keeps the new cats (as I get in new kitties all the time) from the older cats. It has been instrumental in allowing introductions to go smoothly because the cat is protected by the heavy wire, and the others can hiss, posture, growl and swat, and finally when that nonsense goes away the newcomer comes out and everyone is friends. I have nine cats right now. It also helps to not have a solid door between them as they need to smell you and the other cat, and get used to the noise and the pulse of the house.

Also be sure they do not share anything- not litter pans, food or water bowls or toys

Hi Panthro. Hissy has given you great advice (as always!), so I thought I'd chime in with a few details.

The vanilla definitely helped when I introduced Chesty (my most recently-adopted cat) to the other two. Here's what it does: Cats each have their own unique smell, by which they are identified by others. When cats live together, though, they develop a "community" smell, which they all have. The vanilla speeds this process up--Bolo and Boots will both have the same smell on them, which makes them a little less threatening to each other.

Find a room that has a door with a small crack underneath (in other words, one that doesn't seal completely). For us, it was the bedroom door. Put Bolo on one side of the door and Boots on the other, and feed them right next to the door. They'll start to associate each other's smell with something pleasant.

By the way, I agree with Hissy about your neighbor. You said that you can't see her way being the best--and ultimately, they're your cats, and you know in your heart what is best for them. Good luck!

Good grief!, keep your cats away from your neighbour who knows "naff all" about socialising cats!.

Does this woman own pit bulls while she's at it?!

What you have been told here is excellent advice as i myself had to introduce Sophie to Rosie, and i was told to swap their blankets over etc...so they could get to know their smells.

But seriously!, take no notice of your neighbour!.

This might be my thread in a short while...I'm expecting introducing Nano to my girlfriend's cat Prissy and am really concerned about if they will get along. Prissy thinks the entire world is her friend and every stranger is a potential lap -- Nano only allows myself and my girlfriend to touch her, and only I can pick her up. So...

As for your situation, I'd emphasize getting a cat tree. If both of them like looking out windows, I'd get elevated window perches because this gives them something they can do together. Nano will sit for hours, mewing about something or chattering her teeth when she spots a bird. Prissy sleeps on a window sill. I hope this is something they can do together -- Nano on the elevated perch and Prissy down below.

And I don't know the situation of your two cats, but Nano enjoys "quiet time" where I sit on the couch or edge of bed and read a book. She will come visit me once I get settled and we will sit in leisurely silence for more than 30 minutes. Prissy is a lapcat, so during the introduction phase I am hoping that Prissy can enjoy my lap while maybe Nano can sit at my side or sit down on the edge of the couch and be at my shoulder.

Anyway, sorry this post is a mess, it sounds like I am talking about myself but just because I will soon be in your shoes. Here are my suggestions:
--cat tree
--set up window perches
--shared quiet time under your supervision

We've recently been through this process. Our daughter moved back home with her new kitten Mika. Due to the fact we are in renovation mode, the door to our daughter's bedroom has no trim as yet and there is about a 3/4 inch gap between the door frame and the opening. Mika and Bijou could see each other and could actually push their paws through to bat at one another. We kept them separated for one month while were were at work during the day and allowed them "supervised" time together in the evenings and if they started getting rough or nasty, they were again separated. Fortunately for us, neither one would lash out at us if we separated them when they were getting rough so we didn't have to throw a blanket or anything at them. After a month, we figured they would be OK since their supervised time was better and better. Now that still play rough sometimes, but mostly they curl up and sleep together and groom each other. They are still separated at night but that is only because our daughter wants her Mika to sleep with her in her room. LOL

I truly appreciate and thank everyone kind enough to take the time to respond to my plight. I'd like to start using the vanilla extract technique, along with the Feliway. But a couple of questions on both: How long does the vanilla extract scent last before I have to reapply? Where do you pick up real vanilla extract? Does the Feliway make the cats lethargic in any way? If there is still violent aggression even after all this is applied, can I assume this unholy pairing is beyond salvaging?

This is a really great site. Thank you all again.

Originally Posted by Panthro

I truly appreciate and thank everyone kind enough to take the time to respond to my plight. I'd like to start using the vanilla extract technique, along with the Feliway. But a couple of questions on both: How long does the vanilla extract scent last before I have to reapply? Where do you pick up real vanilla extract? Does the Feliway make the cats lethargic in any way? If there is still violent aggression even after all this is applied, can I assume this unholy pairing is beyond salvaging?

This is a really great site. Thank you all again.

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You can get pure vanilla extract at any good grocery store. You pay about $11.00 for it, versus $4.00 What it does is neutralize their smells and make them both smell the same, thus decreasing the "eek there's an alien cat in the house" effect. You apply it about four times a day if you can.

The feliway does not make the cats lethargic though I suppose if you poured it down their throat it might be harmful. You just buy the comfort zone room diffusers and plug them in. They work very subtley

You don't have an unholy pair, you have two cats, possibly with both alpha tendencies that need to find their way with each other, most can, if we don't interfere in the process-

The older the cat is, the harder it is to introduce a new cat. I introduced mine two without much trouble. The older cat hissed and growled for a couple of days, tops, but after that, they were great together. I didn't even have to separate them after that, because they wanted to be together.
So, it only took a couple of days for their love to develop, but my older cat wasn't yet a year old. Now, they love each other and groom each other, but still sometimes have a little battle going on who is the boss. It's important for them to decide who is the boss. In your situation, it will likely take a lot longer, as your cat is 10 year old and is used to living alone. Presumably, the older cat will be the boss. At least you don't have two old cats to introduce to each other-I imagine that is the hardest of all. You got an older cat and a younger cat, which should be easier to introduce.

kittens can be quite frankly annoying. very lovable, cute, fun and adorable but annoying! and this is coming from some one who chooses to live with them, i can only imagine how your poor 10year old feels!

everyone here has given you some great advice. relax, remember to breathe and things will sort themselves out in the end