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The end is near

post #1 of 27
Thread Starter 
Haven't been here since June, 2004 when you helped me get through Gibby's (the gentleman cat) ordeal. I still miss him. But I'm back with Manny, an inherited cat with long hair, tortoise shell colored and big yellow eyes. I feel my mom's spirit in this cat as Manny hugs me everyday when I come home from work. She sleeps with me just like she would sleep with my mom. She's just 8 years and my mom selected her from the humane society. 1 week ago she started drooling, on Saturday, the vet checked for masses including a thorough search in her mouth, Monday was blood tests (normal), and tomorrow was going to be exploratory (look down the throat) for more clues. But tonight, I had to bring Manny in for an emergency (drooling with blood, couldn't close mouth) and I don't think that she's coming home. I'm not ready to post this thread into Crossing the Bridge.

We can now see the mass under her tongue and its likely that its cancer. While I don't think that she is in pain, she's obviously uncomfortable. I've been spoon feeding her tuna and a fried egg with some success. I'm ready to let go and let her be reunited with my mom but I just wanted more time with her. I've outlived 4 cats, 3 of them since 2000. All of the situations were different (including one suicide) and there is no comforting process to make the decision. I have a very compassionate vet that gives me the straight story and she couldn't paint a good picture for me. I'm not ready. Please help.

Manny has crossed on a river of tears~
post #2 of 27
You need to let go, as hard as that is to do, and hard to say it is the truth. Your post here speaks volumes to me. You know you need to release Manny- you came here looking for strength to do it. But you have walked this path before, the strength is inside of you- find it for Manny's sake-

You have my heart-
post #3 of 27
bless your heart! What a horrible story, I feel so bad for you and your Manny. I agree with Hissy, though.

I will say a prayer for you and Manny.
post #4 of 27
Many hugs and much sympathy, I know you'll do the right thing for both of you. It's easy to hear how much you love Manny. Thinking of you
post #5 of 27
I can hear the struggle in your mind... I know that struggle well.

You know what you need to do, and you will never be ready to do so. Take some time with Manny, and it may sound crazy, but let her know that you know its her time. Just sit and talk. Cats understand more than we can comprehend, you know the answer, and so does she.
I am always here to talk, I know what you are going through and have made it, please PM me if you want to talk or cry
post #6 of 27
Oh Tig! this must be awful for you, but Mary Annes right in having to let go

My mum and brother both had mouth cancer and my mums tumour was under her tongue and she was in real pain

I'm sure you don't want Manny to suffer like this, so you would be doing the kindest thing possible by letting her go to the bridge where she can be free from any illness and pain
post #7 of 27
So sorry to hear.. Will be praying for both of you.
post #8 of 27
Aw hun, I know how you feel. About not being ready to let go. And you're right, there is no "step by step" process in making this decision or letting go of someone so sweet, perfect, someone who makes you smile & welcomes you home every day. I almost went through it a month ago and I know I will have to at some point in the future, so believe me I know how it feels to watch someone you love (cats are someone!) suffer like that.

It's especially hard when your cat is as close to you as Manny. Of all my cats I'm totally addicted to Snickers, who I almost lost last month. I was VERY LUCKY and he was healed and he's home safe, but it's still a threat to his life due to his age. Snickers is like Manny; hugs me, loves to be held by me, follows me, and has a personality that blows any human I've ever met out of the water. Hard to let that go.

Please keep us updated on Manny. If it's any comfort you know you can come here and tell us how you feel, WE understand!

post #9 of 27
I went through it with Comere in March and I know it's so hard... you and Manny are in my thoughts and prayers {{{HUGZ}}}

I know you don't feel ready to let go, and you don't feel strong enought to go through this, but that strength is inside you -- and the best gift you can give Manny now is a peaceful passing. He knows he is loved.

We are all here for you...
post #10 of 27
Thread Starter 
Well, I'm leaving work to be with Manny to cross over. They said that she is resting comfortably. I've never held one of my cats during this and I don't know if I can. One wasn't the holding type, two died in their sleep, and I was out of town for Gibby when I had to make the call. I can hardly write this. I don't have to put up a good front like I had to when my dad passed away. thanks everyone for you support. Lump in my stomach, heavy heart.
post #11 of 27
It is an awful thing to have to do but I hope it went peacefully for her and htat you find comfort in knowing that you did the best you could for her.
post #12 of 27
Tig we'll all be right there with you as well by thinking of you
post #13 of 27
Manny would thank you for making the responsible decision, and being there in the end. may help you find your way-

Out of respect, I will move this post to CTB

You have my heart-

post #14 of 27
Bless your heart, and Manny's soul.
post #15 of 27
I am so sorry you have to go through this! I just did and I still expect Corkie to be there and still go to check on her and then find she is gone.

Kiss your baby and hug him and tell him it is OK to go to the Bridge and that someday you will be together again. Hug and kiss him right up till he leaves you! It is very hurtful but at least you will be able to say goodbye!
post #16 of 27
Thread Starter 
She purred right til the end. Her little tongue was dried out from not being able to close her mouth. I didn't like having all the dog sounds in the background and Manny seemed more nervous about that. When things got quieter, we had our last moment. Thank you all. I'm just heart broken.
post #17 of 27
You poor thing, you. God rest her soul.

I am heart-broken for you and your loss...
Please know that we are all here for you if you need to talk. Many of us have been through the same situation.

I'm so've done the right thing though.
post #18 of 27
I am so sorry about your loss. I am sure she was so happy to have you with her as she crossed over to rainbow bridge. I just went through this with my kitties and believe me, I know how hard it is.
Hugs to you.
post #19 of 27
Oh Tig!, first of all you need some of these from us all

As hard as it must have been, and Lord knows i dread the day i have to go though it you did the right thing for Manny

She's frolicking over the bridge now, free from any pain and suffering

RIP Sweet Manny play with the butterflies!!
post #20 of 27
Aww I'm so sorry to hear about Manny!
post #21 of 27
Thread Starter 
I'm not freaked out by the dream. My dreams always relate to something that happened in the last 24 hours. My husband and I were discussing how we didn't make the right decision about Gibby. We had all the facts (one key fact in error) at the time, but we could have saved him and we feel badly about it. Gibby was my husband's cat. I dreamed that Manny was alive and that I was miffed as to how she could be alive. It made me think that my decision to euthanize is reversible. So in my dream, I turned to my husband and asked him if he wanted me to reverse a decision about him and bring him back to life. He shook his head no. I am not freaked out that I'm contemplating death about my husband who is very much alive! :o) I believe that he represented Gibby in my dream. For a long time, I harbored a crazy notion that my vet secretly kept Gibby alive for herself because he was such a good cat. I need to stop reading so many conspiracy theory novels. Again, thanks all for your support!
post #22 of 27
In grief your mind gets crazy. Just stay grounded, mourn for the losses you have suffered and one day you will move on to another cat that will bring to you a specialness that you haven't had with any other-

Take care of yourself. There is a candle lit for Manny
post #23 of 27

I'm so sorry for your loss. I cried when I read your post. We're all here for you.
post #24 of 27
I know how you must feel right now. I had the same with Blackie a few weeks ago but he died at home before we got him to the vet. Remember all the good times you had with your little cat. My heart goes out to you.
post #25 of 27
I am so sad for you and am sending prayers and good thoughts to you; I know it is hard. I've had 2 poodles to die and a mutt. It is like losing a child and a best friend.
post #26 of 27
I am so sorry tigs. My heart goes out to you. I will pray that God sends you peace. You did the right thing and someday you will be reunited with your kitty. Hugs.
post #27 of 27
I am so sorry to hear this. It is always a difficult decision to let our kids go. You are in my thoughts at this time.
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