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The New Living Will (humor)

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
I, _________________________ (fill in the blank), being of sound mind
and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of peckerwood
ethically challenged politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology
if their lives depended on it.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for
a cold beer, it should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When
such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse, children
and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call
a day.

Under no circumstances shall the hypocritical members of the
Legislature (State or Federal) enact a special law to keep me on
life-support machinery. It is my wish that these boneheads mind their
own damn business, and pay attention instead to the health, education
and future of the millions of Americans who aren't in a permanent coma.

Under no circumstances shall any politicians butt into this case.

I don't care how many fundamentalist votes they're trying to scrounge
for their run for the presidency, it is my wish that they play politics
with someone else's life and leave me alone to die in peace.

I couldn't care less if a hundred religious zealots send e-mails to
legislators in which they pretend to care about me. I don't know these
people, and I certainly haven't authorized them to preach and
crusade on my behalf. They should mind their own business, too.

If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case into a
political cause, I hereby promise to come back from the grave and make
his or her existence a living hell.


post #2 of 12
I like that! Thanks for sharing.
post #3 of 12
post #4 of 12
post #5 of 12
post #6 of 12

I am going to print that out and hang it on my wall.
post #7 of 12
I'm printing it too. Taking it to my lawyer to see if she can notarize it for me.

post #8 of 12
very funny

But on the serious side I already have an Advance Directive that has been sent to all my siblings and my parents. My husband has been sworn to uphold my wishes on pain of me haunting him and I just hope that the law and some one else's ideas of right and wrong stay out of my decisions. Debbie
post #9 of 12
Thanks, Tammie!
post #10 of 12
Love it!!!
post #11 of 12
It says it all!!
post #12 of 12
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