Birthday thanks dilemma

My daughter was 29 today - I can't believe it but there you go. She phoned tonight to thank me for her present, but told me that her boyfriend's mother had sent her some lycra control underwear, WITH LEGS! Now my daughter in her teens was frankly tubby, but she works out every day and and is a UK size 10, not big by any standards. She is really proud of how she has kept her weight right down for several years now, though she loves to cook and eat. She was perplexed and a little offended and does not know how to reply. She said her boyfriend was a bit non-plussed too. What would you do?

I had a MIL like that but my MIL weighed about 350lbs. If I were her, I'd send them back to her and tell her that she doesn't need them. Then eat a nice slice of cake in front of her!

I had to learn to ignore it.....she may have to as well. I wish MILs were a little more tackfull towards their DILs. I think that they just think that NO woman is good enough for their baby boy!

As I'm always blunt- I would have her ask why she was given these. As these supposed to be control top pantyhose?? She could perhaps make a "joke" out of the whole thing- say for instance- Thanks, but these are not the right color, not the right size (much to big), or Thanks but I don't wear these things. What a funny gift now what am I to do with them?? I think the gift was in poor taste maybe she will get the hint!!

i would just.. put them away or give them away and just say thank you. or not even reply

From what she said to me they were what we used to call a girdle, pull-on white lycra that stretches from the waist down to mid thigh. I didn't even know they still made them!

arent they supposed to be good for cellulite?

Oh Jenny your poor daughter!.

Were they bought over here?

M&S - she said she could at least change them!

What a bizarre gift! Even if you could make such a purchase (accurately) for someone else, why would you?? How tasteless.

I think what I'd do, if I were her, is say to the woman, "Thanks for thinking of me. I do hope the shop will give an exchange because I can't use this garment." No point pussyfooting.

Originally Posted by jennyranson

M&S - she said she could at least change them!

Click to expand...

Oh you can't go wrong with M & S

She could always tell her they were too big for her so she bought some thongs instead!!

And maybe she could give her thongs for her birthday!!

I would tell your daughter to thank her bf's mother for the gift. It will keep the relationship from getting rocky and I don't think this is worth complaining or starting anything over.
However, is lycra EVER unoffensive? Just kidding! Seriously, though...I doubt that her bf's mother INTENDED the gift to....imply that your daughter was overweight or anything. She probably just thought that they were a nice gift. Maybe it's a product the mother uses and really likes, and she wanted to share them with her friends!

Even if she did give the gift with a negative thought in mind, your daughter will get nothing positive out of making a big deal of it. Besides, your daughter sounds like a lovely woman and it's her OWN opinion of herself that matters! Tell her not to let a silly pair of pantyhose make her question her appearance.

And keep the lycra! Maybe she'll need it eventually....OR she could use it in a Hallowe'en constume!

I usually find that people that give those kinds of gift are hoping for some sort of reaction. I try not to give it to them. I try to be a better person and just thank them politely. Sometimes I suceed in this and sometimes I don't. BF is supportive of her and thats what counts. Although I do find the gift bizarre the only time I give lingerie is at a bridal shower and even then only if I think the recipient would like it.

What??!!! How crass. My initial reaction would be to get her something offensive and inappropriate for her birthday. You can pm me for ideas that I don't think need to be posted here Seriously, she would be bowing to her level to do that. I vote to ignore it, but I wouldn't send a thank you card.

A simple thank you will do. Then keep it or get rid of it.

Thanks all. I don't think she will make a big deal out of it but she wanted to vent a bit to me. SHe will go and exchange it for a top or as suggested, some thongs! She is still debating how to be polite in her thanks, though!