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What do I do? - Page 2

post #31 of 124
Thread Starter 
Well, it's almost midnight here in Los Angeles. Evie has not come out yet, and as far as I know she hasn't eaten or had anything to drink. I've left her alone and ignored her, and I've kept the other cats away from her, and set up their feeding and drinking dishes in the little room I was going to keep Evie in. Other than the TV there has been no noise or any real activity going on. I went out to get something to eat. I got a boneless, skinless chicken breast sandwich, and I ate most of it, but saved a small amount to put in a bowl in front of the fridge, in hopes that it would intice her to eat. Still nothing. I am so worried. I really fear I'm going to lose this little girl, as she starves herself to death.
post #32 of 124
Hope, keep your other cats away in a room for the night, put out several plates of food for Evie, put a litter pan close by and leave out water. Go to bed and let her process the day. Chances are when the house is asleep, she will come out to eat- keep a night light burning in the kitchen if you can, or the stove light on, you just need some kind of indirect lighting to make her feel a bit safer-
post #33 of 124
Honestly, broom handles and flashlights will only scare her more. If she can move around in there, she can come out, and she will when she is left alone. Right now she sees the world as the most terrifying situation she has ever been in and all her instincts are telling to stay put in the dark where no one can get to her. Even when you leave her alone it will probably be several hours before she will dare to come out. But she will. Don't panic - just let her be. Maybe play some soft music in the kitchen to calm her down and leave her food in easy reach.
post #34 of 124
Thread Starter 
Little Evie finally came out from under the refigerator. She's still scared of me, though. I have Simba and Shane locked up in the other room and they are very upset about it.

Ms Evie is now hiding in the cubbards. She's knocked down a few things, but thankfully didn't break anything. As far as I'm concerned, she wants nothing to do with me.
post #35 of 124
I am glad she came out, please know she's not had a chance to get to know you, and she will over time...right now she's simply scared and confused...she's not rejecting you! Imo.

Hang in there, it will get better. I'll leave any other advice to others.
post #36 of 124
It is good that Evie came out to explore some, now just let her be ... she will sniff around, knock things over, walk all over the place and get her bearings - this is all quite normal and to be expected. Don't push her. Let her come to you and when she is ready to come over and introduce herself, she will.

Keep the boys confined for now - Evie needs to get used to her new environment first then we can work on the introductions.

You are doing fine, sweetie - just remember to breathe.

post #37 of 124
And block access underneath your fridge so she can't get back under there. Have you any indication she has eaten?
post #38 of 124
I am glad to hear she got herself out from under that fridge. I was wondering the same thing as hissy. Any indication that she's eaten anad had some water? I hope you've had some time to take a few deep breaths. She's gonna be just fine in time. Keep us posted.
post #39 of 124
Excellent news! My advice now would be to try and move her once only, to a room which is safe (no refrigerators) and which has somethng she can hide in - a large cardbox box or a cupboard, and leave her there for a day or two, while gradually getting her used to the sound of your voice and to you feeding her regularly. Then you can think about opening her up to the rest of hte house to explore at her own pace, and to careful introductions to the others. It iwll be easier for you if she is the one confined, rather than the others, as this will all take some days at least. But you are on the right track. It will all be fine.
post #40 of 124
SO happy to hear she's out and you've got her somewhere you're happier with. Jazzie did this when she moved in at Christmas- went under the bed for four days, she came out only to eat and use her tray and made it very clear I was one step removed from Lucifer- I know how rejected and sad it must be making you feel, especially when you must have been so looking forward to her arriving and you've been so worried about her. This honestly won't go on forever. In the end all I could do was let Jazzie have her safe space and not invade it, spend time in the room on the floor where I wasn't a threatening presence and talk - although not to her. LOL On the fifth day Jake and I were lying on the floor near the bed playing with a bell, and this little kitten crept out to see what we were doing. The first few weeks she went back under the bed the second something scared her- but now, three months on, she's asleep on my feet as I write and she's the gorgeous little soul I so looked forward to moving in with us. Hang in there sweetie, we're all thinking of you.
post #41 of 124
wow, what a story! too bad i got here late!!!!

first, i want to say that if i was in your situation, I'd get anything like a broom, a rope around her neck, anything to get her out, to a point of calling animal control, who carry those animal control sticks that can grab a cat - it's totally unhealthy for a cat to be hiding like this, afraid of everything without food or water.

second, since she's out, HOPE, you need to breathe! It's OK, she doesn't hate you, she's totally scared out of her mind. YOU NEED to get her to a secluded room - bedroom with a door, bathroom, anything where you can have her food, litter box, water and yourself and slowly begin the 'real' introduction

trust me, it will be OK
post #42 of 124
Thread Starter 
I finally got to pet her. She was laying in the cubbard, and I looked up and said in a soft voice, "Hi pretty EvieLeigh", then I started petting her and she was so responsive and so lovable. She was still too nervous to come down from the cubbard, but she was rolling all around and rubbing all over my hand and arm, and just totally in kitty heaven. I guess the boys heard me talking to her, and they broke out of the room I had them contained in and I saw her ears perk up, I turned around and Shane was in the kitchen eating her food. Next thing you know, Simba came in. I shooed them both out of the kitchen, and even though Evie didn't seem scared of me anymore, the magic was broken. I want to get her into the other room, but I have a feeling I'll stress her out, if I try to take her out of the cubbard where she feels secure. I did put a board up across the bottom of the fridge. I can't say for sure if she's eaten or not. I know she spilled her water all over the floor. The food is there for her. I tried to completely ignore her, until this morning. when I saw that she'd to a few different places in the kitchen. I am afraid I'll break the trust I've gained with her if I try to force her to go in the other room. I do think she did use the litter box though, because Simba was totally fascinated by a dropping that was in there. I didn't clean out the box yesterday, because I didn't want to upset her, so there was a little something from Shane and Simba in there.
post #43 of 124
Awww there you go!!!. See! we knew she would come round in the end

You carry on bonding with her and she'll be a little lovebug before you know it!
post #44 of 124
If you wanted to, why not put some treats in her cupboard with her. You will be able to see if she eats them or not and it may help to convince her that she is hungry. Feed her in the cupboard if you have to.

I am glad she has come out from under the fridge and that she enjoys being petted. Those are all good things and I am sure she will come around soon. Good luck

post #45 of 124
Oh my I know how scary all of this must have been. When my Kiki came home with me, she wouldn't eat or drink anything. She was friendly, but started throwing up foam in the middle of her first night home and I was dressed and hysterical, about to take her to the emergency room when she stopped. Anyway, when I took her to the vet the next day, he said she wasn't sick, just being a VERY picky eater. He showed me how to force-feed her (not a good idea with your kitty so scared), but he also gave me some Nutri-Cal, which is a dietary supplement that's like candy for kitties. It's very high-cal, so a little goes a long way, and while Kiki wouldn't eat anything else (and I tried EVERYTHING), she would lick it off my fingers like a hungry kitten at mama's teat. I think you can get some at most pet stores (I saw it at Petco). If she's still not eating, maybe just put a teaspoon in front of her and let her be.

Good luck, I'm sure you'll all be a happy family soon enough.
post #46 of 124
I second putting food in her cupboard. Treats, dry cat food, anything really just to see if she will eat when left alone. I am glad she is still out and not under something again-
post #47 of 124
Puppy did the same thing under the treadmill for 2 days when we put her in her sanctuary room. When we finally lifted the treadmill she ran into her basket (covered bed). She would only use the litter box when she was sure we were not coming in any time soon. However, I laid on the floor in the room for 15 minute intervals 10 times a day. On the 2nd day she came onto my lap. I cried during this process like 20 times because I thought she was going to die from not eating and being traumatized. Do whatever you can to isolate the kitty...it seems very important to them. Good Luck ... and congrats on your new baby!
post #48 of 124
Oh Hope!!! You poor thing going through all that. Hopefully little Evie has turned a corner and things will improve from here *hugs*
post #49 of 124
my friend had a cat that lived under a cupboard for three weeks only coming out at night to eat and drink.

i'm so glad that everything worked out ok with Evie!
post #50 of 124
Thread Starter 
Tuesday update:

Well, she's still hiding, and still scared of me, although she's getting a little braver, and finding new hiding spots. Although I haven't actually seen her eat, I believe she's eating a little to sustain herself. When I came home from work this morning, the food I gave her in the cubbard, was spilled all over the cubbard, making a nasty mess I had to clean up. She is using the litter box, which leads me to believe she's eating a little bit.

This morning after cowering while I cleaned up the mess in the cubbard, she let me pet her, and just like yesterday she got really into it and kneeded the air and rolled around, and acted like she loved it. Then I left the room and when I came back, she was cowering again, and acted like she wished she could make herself invisable. I decided to leave her alone. Then she got brave and jumped out of the cubbard and ran across the kitchen to the window where she jumped up in the window. When I went in the kitchen she cowered again, but I scritched her neck and she started getting into being loved again, so I thought I'd see if I could pick her up. She let me. I brought her into the living room and held her for a little while. Then she wanted to get down. She found another place to hide. in the living room.

I couldn't keep Simba and Shane locked up, because they kept breaking out of the room, and if I tried to lock her in the room, they would break into the room, so they are all together, and there have been no problems between Evie and my boy cats. She actually seems more scared of me, than she is of them. I'm feeling kind of sad, because I don't think she really likes me very much.
post #51 of 124
Hope just give it time. Don't force yourself on her, just be there if she needs you to pet her and stuff. She has had a traumatic experience before she even got to your door. Air travel is difficult on cats. Don't take it personally that she doesn't like you. She is just waiting for the other shoe to fall. Just let her settle in and she will be fine, and so will you.

And don't feel guilty about falling asleep after she got there. She was getting along fine with your cats before you decided to close your eyes and get a nap. How were you supposed to know she would get scared and hide when the initial contact went so well?
post #52 of 124
Hope, I'm sorry I missed your thread on this forum. I'm glad to hear that she's out. These things take time and the fact that she let you pet her is really good. She will do just fine. Just let her stay in her safe spot until she's feels comfortable enough to come out. When she does, she'll wonder why she waited so long.
post #53 of 124
Hi Hope,

Congrats on the new baby. I hope she settles in soon!

post #54 of 124
It sounds like everything will be just fine. She likes you - she lets you pet her, but she is just not 100% sure yet and wants to keep her options open. Give her a little more time, and as said, don't force her.
post #55 of 124
Hope don't worry if it takes a few weeks for Evie to come round, she will get there in the end with you, but she is coming round already from what you say?!.

Patience is a vertue as they say, and my favourite motto, "Everything comes to those who wait!"
post #56 of 124
Thread Starter 
Just checking in with Weds. progress: There has been no progress at all. I know she's hiding, but I don't know where she's hiding. She still wants NOTHING to do with me. The only reason I know she's still alive is that I saw her run from one hiding place to another. She hasn't made a sound. I'm beginning to think that for the betterment of this cat, I might have to send her back to the breeder who sent her to me. The more she hides from me and has no human contact, the more feral she is becoming. I can understand the trauma she has gone through, but I would think that by now, she should be showing at least a minimal amount of progress. The bad part of returning her, is that she'll have to go thrugh the trauma of an airplane ride again. I'm at my wits end. I truly don't think this cat wants to be here, and I don't think she will EVER warm up to me. I am very upset about this, because I think she is going to die, if I don't get her back to the lady, and I don't want that to happen to her.

Admittedly, I have never adopted a full grown cat in the past, but I have never experienced anything like this. When I bought Simba, he was in bed sleeping with me that night. He never hid. He just made himself at home. Even Shane was totally at ease with me, when I bought him, and he was sleeping with me as well right away. This little girl, is really not happy with me, and honestly I don't think she ever will be. It breaks my heart, but for her benefit, I don't know what else to do. She's such a good hider, and I have looked just about everywhere and I can't find her. Sadly, I don't think it's going to work out.
post #57 of 124
Hope, with all due respect for how much you are concerned for her, and upset that you can not comfort her, you need to give this way more time. I would not even begin to think of sending her back, and I do not believe she is becoming feral, nor that she will die.

The cat who responds so wonderfully to when you've petted her, is one who sounds like she loves attention and is responsive. She still needs time to adjust, you need to keep following the advice here and stay the course.

Please do not give up on her!
post #58 of 124
Hope, you need to calm down. Ignore her for now, don't actively look for her. Be sure you have food set out all over for her to find. You haven't had her that long, and expecting her to jump into your lap and love you right off the bat is a tad unrealistic. You have no idea really about where she came from or what she experienced there. Sit down on the floor, or lie down on the floor near where you believe her to be, and just stay there. Sing to her, read out loud to her, talk nonsense to her-

I keep thinking of Franklin who lived in our rafters for over a year. I don't know where he got his food, but he got it somewhere, the food I put up in the rafters he never touched. But he probably came down at night and fed at the feral feeders outside. I tried to get him to like us for such a long time, then one day, I just gave up. I told myself there was no cat in the rafters, and I never looked up when I was in the garage again. Two weeks later he was down head bumping our knees- I still put food and water up there, I did it on a schedule and never deviated so he wouldn't be surprised.
post #59 of 124
Hope, please give yourself some time? I so know what you're feeling, I felt the same with Jazzie- I did seriously consider whether she was telling me she wanted to go home, and whether it was better for us all if she went back. Like you I'd never had a cat so nervous on arrival, the boys strolled into the house at three months old like they owned the place. It's so hard when you're worried about her and you're feeling so rejected. It doesn't last. It really doesn't last. She's traumatised, this isn't about you being the wrong person for her or her being the wrong cat for you. It took three weeks before Jazzie really was herself and she stopped hiding all the time- and nearly two months before she stopped taking off to get under the bed the second something went wrong. Today she came downstairs when one of my neighbours visited and let a total stranger pet her- I was so proud of her. And like your little girl, it wasn't that she didn't want to be touched. If I got down and reached under the bed to her to pet her she purred like an engine and loved it. She just needed time to learn the house sounds, discover the house inch by inch, and keep control over what was happening to her. She was so worth the wait and the stress, I couldn't imagine life without her now. You're doing everything right, keep reminding yourself of that, keep doing just what you're doing and hang in there for another week or better still two. You're going to see some progress- think how far she's come to how she was just two days ago?

Hugs and best wishes, thinking of you
post #60 of 124
I agree with Hissy and Ranger. We just brought Lilly home 3 weeks ago. After week 1 I was ready to throw in the towel. All Lilly wanted was to hide under the bed and at first I was worried she would not eat or drink. After 10 days I cried and cried. We tried moving Lilly's location to get her to come out more, and that backfired. So I did what hissy said. I put Lilly back in the bedroom, and pretended she was not there. Now she is still hiding most of the day, but when I come into the room and call her name now she comes out. She sleeps with me at night. Progress is being made, but its been VERY slow. I am excited to see this girl blossom with us though. Try giving Evie a little more time. I'm sure she will surprise you and bring lots of love to your heart.
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