Hi everyone... I know I havent been around in a while... Things have been really hectic lately... I want to apologize now because I know that I'm gonna be babbling thru this post... I'm going on 36 hours with no sleep and I'm really tired and emotional... I spent the whole night last night with Adrian in the emergency room... He had been complaining of a cramping pain in his leg during the early part of this week and then it went from his leg to his side and chest area... Finally last night the pain had gotten so bad that I begged him to let me take him to the hospital and he finally agreed and we went... We spent probably 4 hours waiting around to find out what his xrays had found, then he needed a CT scan to determine what the mass over his lungs on the xray really was... He had an allergic reaction to the Contrast Dye that they gave him for the CT scan and he nearly had a seizure but they were able to stabilize his blood pressure and heart rate before that happened... I literally sat there the whole night and watched his vital monitor to make sure he was getting better...
It turns out that he's suffering from Multiple Pulminary Embolisms... Basically, he had a blood clot that formed in his leg and had made it's way into his lungs... before the clot got there, it burst into several smaller clots... At this point, he is doing much better than last night... He's on pain medication so, he's not in any pain but he's tired and hot and overall cranky... He's been yelling at me for doting over him too much but I cant help it... I love him and I want him to be as comfortable as possible... The doctor said that he's gonna have to be on blood thinners in order to keep the clots from continuing to form... I've been keeping myself up reading about this disease online... I know he's gonna be okay but I'm still worried about him... I know you all know that I've said on a million occasions that I'm in love with him and I can honestly say, after all this, I know that my feelings for him are real... I love him with all my heart and I want to do anything in the world to help him...
I know this isnt really that important considering the circumstances but it did make me feel good... I was in the ER with Adrian's sister, Jessie and his other close friend, Vanita last night... Around 6am, Jessie went home and VV and I stayed to watch him... we started talking about different things just to pass the time and at one point I told her how he was telling me to go home because he didnt want me to see him in the hospital like that and I told him "I love you and I'm not just here for the jokes with you... I'm here for everything... good or bad..." Vanita looked at me and was like "you're in love with him arent you?" I just looked at her and didnt say anything and she goes "dont lie just tell me" and I was like "Yeah... yeah I am...." and we got into a really long discussion about it... she told me that he talks about me all the time... he really cares about me and that I have to make sure that he knows that I love him... to continue to tell him because eventually he will come around...
Then this morning after he woke up, we were talking and he was teasing me about how I was acting like his "wifey"... I just laughed at him and I said 'well who else is gonna talk for you when you're in too much pain or too sleepy to talk???" and he's like "I know but still... you're a pain in the butt..." I was like 'I dont really have a chance with you, do I?" and he goes "sometimes I wonder"... I asked what he meant by that... and he said that I really get under his skin sometimes... I'm the only one that can get him like that and it drives him crazy... and then I said "Hey, A, do you ever see us together?" and he nodded his head and was like 'yeah, sometimes I do... when you say something sweet or you're just here with me being you... I can see myself with you...' I"m like 'when can you not see yourself with me?" and he said "when you do something pain in the butt like you do all the time..." LoL then we just laughed at each other... I just thought it was really sweet and I finally started to feel like maybe it's possible for us to finally start moving in the direction I've been hoping for.... I really do love him and I hope that he'll be okay.... anyway.. I'm sorry, I really am just rambling now... I'm so tired that I've been crying for the last 2 hours for no real reason...
Please everyone just send lots of {{{VIBES}}} for the man I love with all my heart and soul... I'll keep you all updated and again, I'm sorry that I havent been around... and that this post is really long... You're all great for listening to me and I truly appreciate it... Thanx in advance...
It turns out that he's suffering from Multiple Pulminary Embolisms... Basically, he had a blood clot that formed in his leg and had made it's way into his lungs... before the clot got there, it burst into several smaller clots... At this point, he is doing much better than last night... He's on pain medication so, he's not in any pain but he's tired and hot and overall cranky... He's been yelling at me for doting over him too much but I cant help it... I love him and I want him to be as comfortable as possible... The doctor said that he's gonna have to be on blood thinners in order to keep the clots from continuing to form... I've been keeping myself up reading about this disease online... I know he's gonna be okay but I'm still worried about him... I know you all know that I've said on a million occasions that I'm in love with him and I can honestly say, after all this, I know that my feelings for him are real... I love him with all my heart and I want to do anything in the world to help him...
I know this isnt really that important considering the circumstances but it did make me feel good... I was in the ER with Adrian's sister, Jessie and his other close friend, Vanita last night... Around 6am, Jessie went home and VV and I stayed to watch him... we started talking about different things just to pass the time and at one point I told her how he was telling me to go home because he didnt want me to see him in the hospital like that and I told him "I love you and I'm not just here for the jokes with you... I'm here for everything... good or bad..." Vanita looked at me and was like "you're in love with him arent you?" I just looked at her and didnt say anything and she goes "dont lie just tell me" and I was like "Yeah... yeah I am...." and we got into a really long discussion about it... she told me that he talks about me all the time... he really cares about me and that I have to make sure that he knows that I love him... to continue to tell him because eventually he will come around...
Then this morning after he woke up, we were talking and he was teasing me about how I was acting like his "wifey"... I just laughed at him and I said 'well who else is gonna talk for you when you're in too much pain or too sleepy to talk???" and he's like "I know but still... you're a pain in the butt..." I was like 'I dont really have a chance with you, do I?" and he goes "sometimes I wonder"... I asked what he meant by that... and he said that I really get under his skin sometimes... I'm the only one that can get him like that and it drives him crazy... and then I said "Hey, A, do you ever see us together?" and he nodded his head and was like 'yeah, sometimes I do... when you say something sweet or you're just here with me being you... I can see myself with you...' I"m like 'when can you not see yourself with me?" and he said "when you do something pain in the butt like you do all the time..." LoL then we just laughed at each other... I just thought it was really sweet and I finally started to feel like maybe it's possible for us to finally start moving in the direction I've been hoping for.... I really do love him and I hope that he'll be okay.... anyway.. I'm sorry, I really am just rambling now... I'm so tired that I've been crying for the last 2 hours for no real reason...
Please everyone just send lots of {{{VIBES}}} for the man I love with all my heart and soul... I'll keep you all updated and again, I'm sorry that I havent been around... and that this post is really long... You're all great for listening to me and I truly appreciate it... Thanx in advance...