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A friendship question....

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 
This is about my 2 closest friends who were obviously invited to my daughters wedding 2 weeks ago.
The one lives 25-30 miles away, and doesn't really come to my town very often. I almost didn't expect her to show up, but she did.
The other friend lives in a little town right outside the city limit.
She took off from work, way in advance.
She even came over two nights before the wedding to bring me a coupon to a shoppe to get my hair done. I didn't go there, I found another place.
That was never a big deal.
So the wedding starts, no sign of her.
Reception, still nothing.
No phone call, or anything.
Then she calls me at 11:30pm the day after the wedding.
I let the answering machine get it, I was and still am upset with her.
She left a message saying she was sorry, but half-laughing in her tone.
She offered no reason on the message.
I still haven't called her back and I don't know when or if I will.
I went with her to the hospital for the birth of her last 2 children.
One is 2 & 1/2, and the other was born in November '04.
I thought we were really good friends, and I cannot believe she did not show up after acting as if she would from the beginning.

Am I being childish? Or am I rightfully upset?
post #2 of 4
I'd be upset! That was just disrespectful of your feelings and thats unacceptable. She should have at least called or given a reason. I could see if something bad had happened and she couldn't, but to just half laugh on a machine is rude.
post #3 of 4
Laughter is often the sign of embarassment. It could be that something happened with your friend that may not be a big thing but she realizes that it will be a big thing with you that she missed the wedding.

Friendship is often a good excuse to give some one the benefit of the doubt. I would definitely allow her the opportunity to explain why she didn't make it. It may be that she doesn't have a viable excuse - although I suspect if she took the time and effort to be there prior to the wedding, that she probably does.

I know how important this was to you and how hurt you are feeling. I suspect she knows this as well. This is a stressful time as well as a happy time, and I hope that you will find it in your heart to forgive her even if she doesn't have a valid excuse. I am sure the last thing you want is to have your memories of this wonderful occasion coloured by hurt and anger, even if it is deserved.

Good luck
post #4 of 4
It sounds like she was too ashamed to tell her reason for being absent.
I understand you being upset but try to think about your friendship. It's too valuable to lose it.
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