Help me get Cosmo to come back home

I have a problem that I am simply unable to get an answer to from any resouce. My alpha, Cosmo, is an outside guy. We fondly call him the Prince of the Backyard Emirates. He has been with us for over 10 years. He has lived at our current location for almost 4 years. About 8 weeks ago, Cosmo quit coming home.

As it turns out, he had been hanging out at a neighbor's property. It is adjacent to our property, actually a tad higher up on a small hill. Cosmo came back home for a meal with a new collar and a note asking if he belonged to us. We called the phone number on the collar and told the folks that indeed he is a pet, well loved, missed terribly. They had been locking him inside their house at night, put a bell around his neck (something I don't agree with) and basically broke the spirit of my handsome boy. We have attempted to work out a reconditioning situation with the neighbors although I have my doubts about their intentions. I did request that they stop allowing him into their home, and to stop feeding him so he would get the idea to come back home.

I am beside myself over this. Cosmo isn't returning even to eat. Not sure what to do. I have researched the legal implications of neighbors taking cats and converting them into their own. In California, this is a crime.

Rather than create a legal issue, I want to tackle this from the cat's point of view --his behavior and why he would leave.

Cosmo has lived with three other cats, all indoor/outdoor, for years. He also has a parrot pal too, who loves and respects him. Nothing has changed at our home, with the exception of Cosmo not coming home.

Any wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

Other than locking him in your house I am not sure I can see a true way of forcing him to not go to your neighbors home. I assume he is a neutered male, if not maybe he is out looking for a mate? If he is, sometimes I know cats can make themselves comfortable anywhere and these other people probably thought he was a stray and therefore fed him well and gave him shelter. 2 things a cat needs. You may need to keep him inside from this point on. Wish I could help more, maybe some others have different ideas and suggestions, Goodluck.

I don't mean to be argumentative but you should consider how it works in my area: Nano is a rescued stray and I have taken legal custody of her. She is registered with the city, I made a thorough and documented search for her owners, I had her scanned for a microchip, I have established a relationship with a vet and have papers proving she is receiving adequate care paid for by me -- and now she legally belongs to me! I accomplished most of that during a two week period and it was all formalized within six weeks of me finding her homeless. Be informed -- if any of her previous owners tried to come into the picture, they have zero claim and they would be the ones with "legal problems" for interfering with my cat.

But to your main questions...

Some cats are very attached to their owners and some cats consider their current home with about as much attachment as college kids spending a year in the freshmen dormitory. In other words, nearly complete indifference and little sentimentality. They do it for a while and then go do something else. Perhaps your cat roams off because whatever bond you have created is weaker than his natural curiosity for what he can find elsewhere.

So what to do? You can do some activities to build a bond where Cosmo feels attached to you. This goes beyond simply providing fresh food, water supply, toilet facilities and physical security. Nano and I play interactive games where I reward her with treats depending on how much effort she puts into it. A couple times a day we just act silly together -- goofing around. At least once a day we have a quiet time, where I might be on the couch reading, and Nano will come lay next to me and we'll sit there in silence for 30 minutes. And 90%+ of the time she stays in bed with me for as long as I am asleep -- that is also passive time spent together. Cumulatively this routine has bonded her to me -- I am not just the guy who feeds her, and she doesn't just consider it a disposable situation where she can wander away and go find something of equal or greater value around the corner. And Nano is very far from a precious little lapcat -- she is still pretty wild in many ways.

I mean all of this constructively and am just trying to help.

I take it he is neutered? Otherwise he would be aggressive and they couldn't lock him in the house without suffering for it as he sprayed his displeasure-

How about just keeping him indoors? Build a cat enclosure so he can have the outside as well, but no one can steal him. He is after all your cat, and do you have him microchipped? If you live in the city is he licensed as well? I would just try keeping him in your house, work on building an outside shelter for him, or look into those type of enclosures that go on the outside of your home allowing your cat to be outdoors but not get in trouble or fall in harm's way. I would be ticked if someone was doing this to one of my cats, especially after I went over and told them the cat belongs to me. I know one of my cats vanished for a year, and I found her quite by accident while walking my dog. She was in the window of a neighbors home! I got her back in about 10 minutes, because she not only was glad to see me, but also my dog. The lady was elderly and didn't mean anything by taking Scatter, she thought Scatter was homeless.

This happened to my sister, with her Magnus. He was always a wanderer and eventually left home altogether, though my sister knew well where he was and went to see the people. They stopped feeding him but instead of coming home he went somewhere else. In the end she could not persuade him to come home (although he had a litter mate at home and they got on fine). As he was always an indoor/outdoor cat she did not want to confine him, and decided that as long as she knew he had a home she would leave him to do what he wanted. Not very good for her and her family, but it was what the cat wanted.

Thank you all for your suggestions and input.
Our neighbors are currently working with us and we may be making progress.

My philosophy at this point is not to do something like lock Cosmo up as a captive and further disrupt his spirit. He is very persistent about having his freedom and will literally toss himself at the windows or doors to get out. And it doesn't stop until someone gives in. Usually, me. The last time we tried to keep him captive/inside, I did not sleep for over 24 hours, neither did Cosmo. A battle of wills because of my attachment is unfair and inhumane to both of us.

We have opted to work with him and his psyche, on his terms. He's not one to "play with toys and such." He tends to be a pretty serious fellow. We will continue to reaffirm his presence with positive reinforcement. We have also purchased the Feliway product, to help enhance a calm and stress free feeling when Cosmo does come home. He is currently spending a few more minutes each morning with us, which is encouraging.

As for the legal issues, it is a CRIME of CONVERSION. Pets are considered personal property, aka chattel, in California. Even if you think a creature may be stray, don't make assumptions. Do the homework, ask the neighbors, etc., before you take on another loved one.

Again, thank you all.

Originally Posted by clvngodess

Thank you all for your suggestions and input.
Our neighbors are currently working with us and we may be making progress.

My philosophy at this point is not to do something like lock Cosmo up as a captive and further disrupt his spirit. He is very persistent about having his freedom and will literally toss himself at the windows or doors to get out. And it doesn't stop until someone gives in. Usually, me. The last time we tried to keep him captive/inside, I did not sleep for over 24 hours, neither did Cosmo. A battle of wills because of my attachment is unfair and inhumane to both of us.

We have opted to work with him and his psyche, on his terms. He's not one to "play with toys and such." He tends to be a pretty serious fellow. We will continue to reaffirm his presence with positive reinforcement. We have also purchased the Feliway product, to help enhance a calm and stress free feeling when Cosmo does come home. He is currently spending a few more minutes each morning with us, which is encouraging.

As for the legal issues, it is a CRIME of CONVERSION. Pets are considered personal property, aka chattel, in California. Even if you think a creature may be stray, don't make assumptions. Do the homework, ask the neighbors, etc., before you take on another loved one.

Again, thank you all.

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It does not sounds like the neighbors stole your car. They did put a note on his collar asking you if the cat belongs to you, so they did do their homework. It seems to me that since you let your cat out, he can pretty much go where he wants to go. If he wants to hang out at the neighbors, I guess that is where he is going to hang out. Once you let your cat out, unsupervised, you can not control where he wants to go. I think it's a good idea that you asked your neighbors not to feed him, but I am not sure how you could possibly inforce it if they do feed him. After all, he does get on their property. Maybe you could buy some nice kitty treats that he likes to entice him to come home.