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How to give a cat a pill

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 
Asked on another thread. I thought I'd start this thread with that famous piece:

1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3) Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.

4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered Doulton figures from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9) Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10) Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.

13) Tie cats front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed, force cat's mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 1/2 pint of water down throat to wash pill down.

14) Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15) Make arrangements to take the cat to the vet twice a day for a shot.

Seriously now, how do you people do it?

I've had lots of trouble and lost tons of pills before I learnt how to do this. Gezer is not a problem because all we need to do is mix it in some tasty food (we just out the whole pill in some tuna or something). Mishmish is far too clever and will either eat around the pill or refuse to touch the food altogther.

I've always tried doing it like they said in the books, and I ended up pretty much like that description above...

Last time was different. I decided enough was enough. Came to her very very determined, held her close to the ground and shuved the pill down her throat. She was so surpried by my agility and determination that she swallowed it. She didn't even get very mad at me.
post #2 of 6
Anne, I have read different versions on how to give a cat a pill, but this one is the funniest by far. I must print it out & sent to my friends who do not have a computer. I think this is one of the worst things about owning (or being owned by) a cat. I am so afraid everytime we take a cat to the vets that they are going to put them on medication. Thanks for the laugh!!
post #3 of 6

There is a secret that Rene gave me since she has SO many cats and at any point in time has to medicate one of them.

It is helpful to have 2 pairs of hands but, like myself, live alone (with 8 cats). The best way is to get on your knees on the floor with your ankles locked. Put the cat in between your legs (the locking of the ankles will prevent the cat from backing out). Take the cat's head in your thumb and forefinger and pry it's mouth open with the other hand (watch your fingers). Drop the pill down it's throat, close the mouth quickly and keep it closed, rub it's throat and blow into it's nose. This will cause a swallowing reflex in the cat.

If not, get liquid and a non-needle syringe. Put the syringe toward the back of the jaw (the cat will open its mouth) and squirt the liquid into the back of the throat. Works for me.
post #4 of 6
Okay...its simple...VERY CAREFULLY!!! It helps if you dip it in a little butter as well, it goes down much smoother.
post #5 of 6
After much frustration in the type of scenerio that Anne describes, I just let the vet do it. There are some areas in which i am willing to admit defeat.
post #6 of 6
I had the same terrible experience with pills when my cat was sick and luckily I've found a super easy way! Get a non needle syringe (vets will have them), fill about 1/2" with wet cat food, stick the pill in, fill it another 1/2" with wet cat food, get your cat, grab the back of it's neck, hold the "syringe" up to the corner of the mouth (while still holding neck), quickly shoot the food/pill in the VERY back of their throat. They have no other choice by to swallow. They will definitely try to cough it back up but it's too late, they have no other option. If you feel like you're choking them you'll learn after they spit out a soggy pill with a mushy pile of wet food. This works like a charm, then the only thing left for them to taste is their favorite flavor of canned chicken or tuna. My cat hated pills before but this way it's over in a matter of seconds. You have to be quick and push it far back. Those are the two key tricks. Good luck!
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