http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NMHP/
Question from Deb:
This is definitely one of our toughest cases. We've had Bailey for going on 3 years now. She fosters with me 6 months and another girl 6 months in an effort to keep her out of our shelter. Aside from her other issues, she will beat on other cats if they get "in her face." She REALLY can be a nice cat, BUT....it takes a long time to win her trust and she can be very violent until that happens. She cannot be picked up, pilled, etc without a fight. This bio from our web site, was written by her other foster mom. It really does say it all, but could you make it better?
"Discounted adoption fee.
Bailey is a sweet kitty who needs a LOT of patience.
She reacts violently when she is scared by lashing out, growling,hissing and sometimes even swatting. Bailey MUST be left alone when she gives warning signals. She has developed close loving relations with both of her foster mothers after several months of patient care. Bailey needs a patient owner who does not have children, who will give her the time and space she needs to feel secure. Bailey's new owner will need to invest several months of time & energy before seeing any response. Once you reach that point, Bailey is a true love. She sits on her foster mom's lap and "kneads." She really is a nice kitty, you just HAVE to be patient!!!"
Response from Elizabeth Doyle:
Thank you so much for writing! Letâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s see what we can do for Bailey.
For starters, I have to tell you -- I donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t think youâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]re going to get a lot of calls about Bailey. Not unless we give this a facelift and fast!
Hereâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s the problem. Look at this blurb and tell me five bad things about Bailey. Thatâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s easy, right? Her bad qualities are everywhere. “Violentâ€, “Growlingâ€, “hissingâ€, swattingâ€, “needs LOTS of patienceâ€. I could probably keep going!
Now tell me five of the nicest things about Bailey. Whew! Not so easy. I really have to search. If I keep reading ….I get to “close loving relations with her foster mothers†…that sounds good, but then itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s qualified with “after several monthsâ€. So if I keep looking for good qualities, wade past “no childrenâ€, “needs time and spaceâ€, “invest several monthsâ€, I eventually get down to “Once you reach that point, Bailey is a true love.†Hmmm. So why do we have all the bad stuff at the top, emphasized with capital letters, while all the good stuff is hard to find and at the bottom? Shouldnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t we go the other way around?
Now, the first thing we have to do is sit down and really think about Bailey. Who she is as a person. (err...cat.) Without putting any qualifiers, what are three nice things we can say about her? Just straightforward compliments with no “butsâ€.
Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m going to try that, using this blurb for my information.
One nice thing I would like to say about Bailey, reading this, is that she is a comedy figure of a cat! She isnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t one of those wimpy cats with no personality. Sheâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s the kind of cat my ornery grandmother might like to have so that she can sic Bailey on guests who stay too long and then giggle about how they were chased away by a little lady and her cat.
I would also like to say that Bailey is somebody who loves you. Not everybody! Just you. And it feels so special to be loved by somebody whoâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s fussy. I mean, who wants a guy to flirt with you when you know he flirts with everybody? Isnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t it more special when you know youâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]re the only one? I like that about Bailey. Sheâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s my special friend. She doesnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t like just everybody.
Another thing I like about Bailey is that I really like having my own personal space, too. I hate it when people are in my face when Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m trying to write or read or daydream. Bailey sounds like a cat who can respect that. Sheâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s the same way! Maybe we would understand each other, this old girl and me.
Can you see how weâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]re now tapping into reasons that somebody might actually want her? Turning her “negatives†into “interesting personality traits – that might be right for you.â€
Also, I suspect there are more things we could have said, if weâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]d been focusing more on the positives when we wrote the original draft. For example …is she pretty? That would be a nice thing to say. If not, then does her fur have a nice texture when you touch it? Like lambswool or like feathers? More good things about Bailey!
But using what weâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ve got …
A Blurb for Bailey:
Now, hereâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s a comedy figure of a cat! The character who takes this one – weâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ll even give you a discount on your adoption fee! Donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t get us wrong; sheâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s great. But Bailey is …Bailey. And we will be having a cake the day somebody takes this funny old lady home.
Bailey loves just one person – the person who takes her home and finds over time, that they are soulmates. To that person, Bailey will be the most devoted friend theyâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ve ever had. She will sit in their lap and knead them. She will look in their eyes and know what theyâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]re thinking; because sheâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ll be thinking it too. Thereâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s something very special about this cat, to the person who becomes her own.
Sheâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s going to come to love one individual. But everyone else? Oh, itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s safe to say that … she pretty much hates them! Itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s true; sheâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s a fluffy terror. She swats, growls, hisses – you name it. Probably best not to have children within say …oh …25 miles of her. What a little monster she is! And yet …she will be your cat, once she comes to know you as a soulmate.
We know itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s a long shot, but …we really have to ask …is there a character out there who wants Bailey? Or at least to learn more?
This blurb will not appeal to everyone. But then again, we donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t want everyone to adopt Bailey. But the person who will find this appealing is someone with a lot of sense of humor, and who wants to be called a “character†and wants a “character†for a cat. And thatâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s probably a very good person to adopt Bailey.
Good luck! And thank you for giving us such a great cat for a demonstration challenge.
Question from Deb:
This is definitely one of our toughest cases. We've had Bailey for going on 3 years now. She fosters with me 6 months and another girl 6 months in an effort to keep her out of our shelter. Aside from her other issues, she will beat on other cats if they get "in her face." She REALLY can be a nice cat, BUT....it takes a long time to win her trust and she can be very violent until that happens. She cannot be picked up, pilled, etc without a fight. This bio from our web site, was written by her other foster mom. It really does say it all, but could you make it better?
"Discounted adoption fee.
Bailey is a sweet kitty who needs a LOT of patience.
She reacts violently when she is scared by lashing out, growling,hissing and sometimes even swatting. Bailey MUST be left alone when she gives warning signals. She has developed close loving relations with both of her foster mothers after several months of patient care. Bailey needs a patient owner who does not have children, who will give her the time and space she needs to feel secure. Bailey's new owner will need to invest several months of time & energy before seeing any response. Once you reach that point, Bailey is a true love. She sits on her foster mom's lap and "kneads." She really is a nice kitty, you just HAVE to be patient!!!"
Response from Elizabeth Doyle:
Thank you so much for writing! Letâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s see what we can do for Bailey.
For starters, I have to tell you -- I donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t think youâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]re going to get a lot of calls about Bailey. Not unless we give this a facelift and fast!
Hereâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s the problem. Look at this blurb and tell me five bad things about Bailey. Thatâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s easy, right? Her bad qualities are everywhere. “Violentâ€, “Growlingâ€, “hissingâ€, swattingâ€, “needs LOTS of patienceâ€. I could probably keep going!
Now tell me five of the nicest things about Bailey. Whew! Not so easy. I really have to search. If I keep reading ….I get to “close loving relations with her foster mothers†…that sounds good, but then itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s qualified with “after several monthsâ€. So if I keep looking for good qualities, wade past “no childrenâ€, “needs time and spaceâ€, “invest several monthsâ€, I eventually get down to “Once you reach that point, Bailey is a true love.†Hmmm. So why do we have all the bad stuff at the top, emphasized with capital letters, while all the good stuff is hard to find and at the bottom? Shouldnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t we go the other way around?
Now, the first thing we have to do is sit down and really think about Bailey. Who she is as a person. (err...cat.) Without putting any qualifiers, what are three nice things we can say about her? Just straightforward compliments with no “butsâ€.
Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m going to try that, using this blurb for my information.
One nice thing I would like to say about Bailey, reading this, is that she is a comedy figure of a cat! She isnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t one of those wimpy cats with no personality. Sheâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s the kind of cat my ornery grandmother might like to have so that she can sic Bailey on guests who stay too long and then giggle about how they were chased away by a little lady and her cat.
I would also like to say that Bailey is somebody who loves you. Not everybody! Just you. And it feels so special to be loved by somebody whoâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s fussy. I mean, who wants a guy to flirt with you when you know he flirts with everybody? Isnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t it more special when you know youâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]re the only one? I like that about Bailey. Sheâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s my special friend. She doesnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t like just everybody.
Another thing I like about Bailey is that I really like having my own personal space, too. I hate it when people are in my face when Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m trying to write or read or daydream. Bailey sounds like a cat who can respect that. Sheâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s the same way! Maybe we would understand each other, this old girl and me.
Can you see how weâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]re now tapping into reasons that somebody might actually want her? Turning her “negatives†into “interesting personality traits – that might be right for you.â€
Also, I suspect there are more things we could have said, if weâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]d been focusing more on the positives when we wrote the original draft. For example …is she pretty? That would be a nice thing to say. If not, then does her fur have a nice texture when you touch it? Like lambswool or like feathers? More good things about Bailey!
But using what weâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ve got …
A Blurb for Bailey:
Now, hereâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s a comedy figure of a cat! The character who takes this one – weâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ll even give you a discount on your adoption fee! Donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t get us wrong; sheâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s great. But Bailey is …Bailey. And we will be having a cake the day somebody takes this funny old lady home.
Bailey loves just one person – the person who takes her home and finds over time, that they are soulmates. To that person, Bailey will be the most devoted friend theyâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ve ever had. She will sit in their lap and knead them. She will look in their eyes and know what theyâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]re thinking; because sheâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ll be thinking it too. Thereâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s something very special about this cat, to the person who becomes her own.
Sheâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s going to come to love one individual. But everyone else? Oh, itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s safe to say that … she pretty much hates them! Itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s true; sheâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s a fluffy terror. She swats, growls, hisses – you name it. Probably best not to have children within say …oh …25 miles of her. What a little monster she is! And yet …she will be your cat, once she comes to know you as a soulmate.
We know itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s a long shot, but …we really have to ask …is there a character out there who wants Bailey? Or at least to learn more?
This blurb will not appeal to everyone. But then again, we donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t want everyone to adopt Bailey. But the person who will find this appealing is someone with a lot of sense of humor, and who wants to be called a “character†and wants a “character†for a cat. And thatâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s probably a very good person to adopt Bailey.
Good luck! And thank you for giving us such a great cat for a demonstration challenge.
