I've had it!! I'm eloping!

kat_boy · Mar 25, 2005

I know everyone planning their wedding has said it, but I am for real.
I am just trying to decide the best way to manage it. I know people are going to be upset, and there will surely be claws out and in full swing, but it's my day. So, we've decided, I am going to buy my marriage licence on Tuesday, and that gives us three months to tie the knot.
So, here's my plan so far
Buying the licence Monday, picking the date and booking the chambers asap. I will be getting married in toronto city hall at a totally non-religious ceremony. Done! Voila! Means the same thing to me without the 'background noise'
I will be picking 2 witnesses, I will still be wearing my suit and tie, and we'll just pick my fav restaurant afterwards then maybe go bar hopping and play pool all night or something! I think it's more me than a formal affair.
Now, ladies (and maybe gents) should I tell anyone in my family? Or wait until after? I was thinking of telling a select few, and basically saying where, when, be there if you can, stay home if you can't.
Eloping is right for me, I just want my families reaction to it to be minimal.

mom of franz · Mar 25, 2005

Originally Posted by Kat_Boy

I know everyone planning their wedding has said it, but I am for real.
I am just trying to decide the best way to manage it. I know people are going to be upset, and there will surely be claws out and in full swing, but it's my day. So, we've decided, I am going to buy my marriage licence on Tuesday, and that gives us three months to tie the knot.
So, here's my plan so far
Buying the licence Monday, picking the date and booking the chambers asap. I will be getting married in toronto city hall at a totally non-religious ceremony. Done! Voila! Means the same thing to me without the 'background noise'
I will be picking 2 witnesses, I will still be wearing my suit and tie, and we'll just pick my fav restaurant afterwards then maybe go bar hopping and play pool all night or something! I think it's more me than a formal affair.
Now, ladies (and maybe gents) should I tell anyone in my family? Or wait until after? I was thinking of telling a select few, and basically saying where, when, be there if you can, stay home if you can't.
Eloping is right for me, I just want my families reaction to it to be minimal.

That's a tough one Matt, I think you should tell, otherwise people will feel left out. You can however honeymoon in NYC...come onnnn dowwwwn!

kat_boy · Mar 25, 2005

Barbara, I'd luv to come down to NYC and party with ya! hehe

kat_boy · Mar 25, 2005

Sidenote though, I do agree. The chambers will fit about 30 people, 15 seated, 15 standing. Plus the two if us and our witnesses. So that leaves parents brothers sisters etc., and maybe a few good friends and a well liked co-worker or two.

kiwideus · Mar 25, 2005

You forgot my invitation!!!!!

Seriously though, I am happy for you. Jake and I eloped December 1999 and told the family afterwards. They were shocked but not too surprised. And they were not upset, instead happy. Well, my family was happy, his mother, is a different story however.

I hope this is not a too personal question but if a gay couple marries, what do they call themselves - husband and husband? Sorry if its too personal.

After NY - come on down to Asheville!

huggles · Mar 25, 2005

good on you Matt - its your day and you do it how you think is best

good luck to you :hugs

vespacat · Mar 25, 2005

Eloping at City Hall sounds good to me!

But what does your fiancee think of your plan?

ghostuser · Mar 25, 2005

Don't forget your ***hags, if you have them!

If Matty were to forget me if he ever gets hitched, I'd kill him!

sashacat421 · Mar 25, 2005

Originally Posted by huggles

good on you Matt - its your day and you do it how you think is best

good luck to you :hugs

AMEN!!! When I was married so young, we eloped to the island of Kauai, Hawaii and sent out annoucement cards from there with a bona-fide Eleelee, Hawaii postal cancellation with flowered stamps. it was great!

loops · Mar 25, 2005

Matt,

I, too, live in Toronto and I think you should go ahead and elope if you feel like it! Go bar hopping in the gaybourhood and then (if affordable) get a suite at the Royal York and you know...

Although my best friend (who is also named Matt and is also gay) came very close to eloping last year and at the last minute decided not to. (He and his parter subsequently broke up a week later) So make sure this is what you want!!
Best of luck!!

Crystal

kat_boy · Mar 25, 2005

LMAO....OMG wodesorel!!!!!!!!! You must be one if you know that! Yes, my hags will certianly be there (I have 2)

And, to answer the other question, yes, he'll be my husband, but I think I'll want a more original title for myself LOL That's the good thing about gay marriage here in Canada.....there are not any traditional elements at all....so you can wing it and make your own traditions.

Well....there is one gay wedding tradition already in place. The ball and chain armband. They are black and white with a little bowtie and they do have a gold ball and chain on them....one of the grooms wears it, and it's removed and thrown like a garter, now....how it's removed, there are some variations. If you'd like to stay low-key, a lift of the sleeve will do it....If you're brave enough (and built enough) a full on topless show is in order LOL Like showing some leg for the garter...male style.

ghostuser · Mar 25, 2005

LOL, yeah. Guilty as charged.

All I can say is that I'm so happy for you. To find someone to spend your life with, and to be living somewhere where it's recognized. Congrats!

I can only imagine the parties your friends will throw for you....

rapunzel47 · Mar 26, 2005

Hey, Matt, Congratulations!!

I'd say, do it with just your witnesses and the few really close people you "couldn't possibly exclude" -- whether they be family or friends. Everyone else gets a nice announcement after the fact. Anyone whose sensibilities you really care about will accept this as your wish for a small intimate wedding without a lot of fuss or an army of people, and simply wish you well. You can't worry about everyone's reaction to anything, so do what works for you.

And all the best!

jennyr · Mar 26, 2005

Eloping in my book is just the two of you, going off somewhere without telling anyone, usually because of opposition by family or friends. What you are planning is a nice intimate occasion, surrounded by those whom you love best - just what a wedding should be! It will be great - gay people know how to enjoy themselves and let their hair down in a way that some others have forgotten. Sadly I have lost most of my gay friends, but I shall be thinking of you and wishing you well. Have a great day, whenever it is!

yayi · Mar 26, 2005

Originally Posted by huggles

good on you Matt - its your day and you do it how you think is best

good luck to you :hugs

That's right. Congratulations too!

katspixiedust · Mar 26, 2005

Originally Posted by Kiwideus

After NY - come on down to Asheville!

Side note: Kellye I'm actually going to Asheville for a few days with my boyfriend at the beginning of May! Small world.

Back on-topic...do what feels best for you Matt! Just makes sure your partner is completely on board as well! Have fun!!!

pinkdaisy226 · Mar 26, 2005

If you do it, good luck to you! If it's really what you and your s/o want then good for you!

I know the hassles tho, trust me! Right now I'm trying to plan my own wedding - my parents are about to drive my insane! But we're hoping for a small wedding in Hawaii so the reward will definitely be worth it!

kat_boy · Mar 27, 2005

Ok, it's all in place now. I've picked a tentative date, of May 2nd....and I informed my immediate family today....everything went well. My mother won't be there because she'll be in Australia, but everyone else will hopefully come.
Now, I'll cross my fingers that I get the booking I want that day.

mistys mum · Mar 27, 2005

Its your day Matt and as long as it is what you and your partner are happy with then that is all that matters, BUT If its really going to hurt any one not to be invited and you wont be able to mend the relationship after and dont think that they will forgive you and you still want them in your life, best to invite them and swear them to secretcy . Iam so happy that you have love in your life and want to celebrate it with marrage. All the best. Debbie

pinkdaisy226 · Mar 27, 2005

Good luck!

I've had it!! I'm eloping!

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