Hello
As some of you may know, On the 3rd March I lost my 4th baby and someone nicely posted for me. Well anyway I went to the doctors today because I knew I wasn't ready to get pregnant again so wanted some protection. This is something I never thought I would be doing but I know I have to because I am such a mess right now and I know I couldn't cope loosing another baby.
Anyway, I got my test results from a few months ago and most were fine except one. It bassically said that I was ovulating (well at least not that month). That got me confused as I was pregnant at that point (not that I had found out by then). After talking to the doctor we had worked out that I must of been pregnant around end of December. Which means my baby was a few months older than I thought. Also when I sadly lost my baby, the doctors told me from the tests that night that my baby had died a while before I lost her. So all of this would make sense.
I am feeling so upset and worse than before, I know that probably makes no sense but knowing that my baby had been dead inside me for longer than we thought ( we thought a week at most but obviously now it could of been longer) and that my baby was older than I thought.
*all grief is the same, no matter how long you carried your baby for but just finding out what I did is deverstating*
God, I am not making any sense. I think I am still in shock and feeling really upset. I had never really dealt with loosing my fourth baby...I had just pushed it to the back of my mind and ignored it but all this has really brought it back.
I am a complete mess, any hugs/support would be nice and sorry for having to ask yet again but I didn't know where else to turn.
Eva x
As some of you may know, On the 3rd March I lost my 4th baby and someone nicely posted for me. Well anyway I went to the doctors today because I knew I wasn't ready to get pregnant again so wanted some protection. This is something I never thought I would be doing but I know I have to because I am such a mess right now and I know I couldn't cope loosing another baby.
Anyway, I got my test results from a few months ago and most were fine except one. It bassically said that I was ovulating (well at least not that month). That got me confused as I was pregnant at that point (not that I had found out by then). After talking to the doctor we had worked out that I must of been pregnant around end of December. Which means my baby was a few months older than I thought. Also when I sadly lost my baby, the doctors told me from the tests that night that my baby had died a while before I lost her. So all of this would make sense.
I am feeling so upset and worse than before, I know that probably makes no sense but knowing that my baby had been dead inside me for longer than we thought ( we thought a week at most but obviously now it could of been longer) and that my baby was older than I thought.
*all grief is the same, no matter how long you carried your baby for but just finding out what I did is deverstating*
God, I am not making any sense. I think I am still in shock and feeling really upset. I had never really dealt with loosing my fourth baby...I had just pushed it to the back of my mind and ignored it but all this has really brought it back.
I am a complete mess, any hugs/support would be nice and sorry for having to ask yet again but I didn't know where else to turn.
Eva x