Excuses for not going to work

These are real excuses given by employees for calling in sick:

I was sprayed by a skunk.

I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious. I don't think I'd admit this even if it did happen.

My bus broke down and was held up by robbers. Really good reason to learn to drive!

I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.

I forgot to come back to work after lunch. Serious brain freeze?

I couldn't find my shoes. Do you only have ONE pair?

I hurt myself bowling. My biceps hurt from those 16 ounce curls

I was spit on by a venomous snake. Did we even know snakes could spit?

I totaled my wife's jeep in a collision with a cow.

A hitman was looking for me. Gee, are you calling from home?

My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser. Again, something I wouldn't amit.

I eloped.

My brain went to sleep and I couldn't wake it up. I'm like this AT work every day. What's your point?

My cat unplugged my alarm clock. Hey that one could be true!

I had to be there for my husband's grand jury trial.

I had to ship my grandmother's bones to India.

I forgot what day of the week it was.

Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night.

A tree fell on my car.

My monkey died.

I was sprayed by a skunk. I would at least be late to work on this one.

I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious.

My bus broke down and was held up by robbers. Man that would be wild wouldn't it.

I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity. Again

I forgot to come back to work after lunch. Maybe they need medical attention.

I couldn't find my shoes. Who gives this as an excuse a moron?

I hurt myself bowling. Hey this could have happened. I know a girl that got hit the in face with a bowling ball.

I was spit on by a venomous snake. I'd buy it only if I live somewhere where venomous snakes were common.

I totaled my wife's jeep in a collision with a cow. This I have seen happen not pretty.

A hitman was looking for me. Ok I don't think I would be calling work, it's not like I would be showing up there again anyway.

My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser. I think I'd just tell them I was sick.

I eloped. And they couldn't do this on their day off?

My brain went to sleep and I couldn't wake it up. Again just call in and say you're sick.

My cat unplugged my alarm clock. Actually when Gandalf was a kitten he turned off my alarm clock. Thankfully I woke up only a few minutes late.

I had to be there for my husband's grand jury trial. And you couldn't tell your boss ahead of time?

I had to ship my grandmother's bones to India. I'd think you'd know about this ahead of time to.

I forgot what day of the week it was. He he.

Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night. Scarely enough that could be possible.

A tree fell on my car. During and Ice storm that would be completely believable around here.

My monkey died. Any pet dies and I'm staying home so I understand that.

perhaps I should try these!
I read a really funny story somewhere about a lady who had a voice activated alarm clock, and when the alarm clock went off her cat would meow until the annoying sound stopped, causing the lady to sleep in and miss work!

I would love my cats EVEN MORE if they unplugged my alarm clock and I could use that as a valid excuse!!! Unfortunately, Eponine IS my alarm clock... and she never fails to remind me of that!

Originally Posted by cla517

My cat unplugged my alarm clock. Hey that one could be true!

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My cat has done that to me several times along with several other things that have made me late. When I was working Princess would hide my car keys every day unless I found a place to hide them from her. Just putting them in my purse wasn't good enough she would just open my purse and steal them. She's very sneaky and I would have to rotate my hiding places because she would figure out my hiding places quickly.

" I can't come into work today. The voices are telling me I have to clean my guns..."

"I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity"

This actually happened to a man in Evansville and I actually saw him being arrested in front of his place of employment. Turns out there was another man with the same/similar name and this was the 2nd time the police had got the wrong guy!

mine yesterday & today a new baby at home

theyre brilliant

Originally Posted by brianlojeck

" I can't come into work today. The voices are telling me I have to clean my guns..."

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Brian you are a freak

Great!