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the monotony of everyday life..

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 
Any ideas to get a break from it?? When me and my bf started going out we were both pretty free and able to do what we wanted when we wanted. We would stay out until 5am and do things like fly off to vegas on 2 days notice. Well now we both settled into very adult jobs and have very adult schedules. He goes to work about 5 hours earlier than I do so our schedules are kind of crossed though we do see each other awake for a few hours a night. At first we tried to fight the system but it was a losing battle so we've kind of just surrendered to our boring schedules. Not only that but we've also decided to do the adult thing and save up for a house so we're always out of spending money so going out for drinks or doing something expensive is out of the question. I always feel like I'm on auto pilot around him and it's really driving me crazy because we do the same thing every day, watch tv and sleep. I usually try to make a semi involved dinner every night and make things fancy but it wears on me too. I would think that going out with friends might help but everytime we do anything it's the same old thing, we end up exhausted by 11pm and are miserable and leave early and everyone calls us grandma and grandpa. Is this a normal stage of life or do we need to make some changes??
post #2 of 13
Make changes. Or else you two are headed for splitsville.

It's not a normal stage of life. There should be nothing normal about becoming bored with life. Life is for living, baby, so get up and go do it. If you can't afford to go OUT and do stuff, invite everyone to your place or make it a twice-a-month thing to meet up at someone's house and play cards, drink, talk, just have fun & get crazy. Something.
post #3 of 13
Thread Starter 
do you think energy drinks or something would help?

I mean we are totally into each other, like almost sickeningly in love.. And we do get out a couple times a month but it's nothing compared to the post college party fest. I'm thinking I explained it wrong or something. We're just tired a lot from working a lot and I feel like every night we should go out and do something exciting, but that's not really realistic right?
post #4 of 13
Oh, whoa. Thanks for clarifying that.

I never went to college, but from what I hear, it's quite a party, eh? Drinking every night, partying, up til dawn, yadda yadda yadda.

Well anyway. Since you clarified:

NO do not do energy drinks! Good Lord! If you two are still INTO each other, you have it made. That's what counts. I had visions of him sitting on the couch watching tv with a beer in his hand and you sitting on the other couch trying to talk to him. A scene like that screams, "I am not into you".

And yah it certainly is NOT realistic to think you can go out every night. Wowwie. Weekends are made for fun (unless you work weekends and have to go out on a weeknight???). Are ya 8 to 5, Mon thru Fri? That is certainly monontony but it is also stability. I'm sure college didn't feel stable.

This real life thing means you can't party every night. You can do stuff but no I would definitely say, you can't do that college thing every night. I guess you are suffering from Jet Lag from one lifestyle to another? But if you and your man are sickeningly in love (like the sound of that!) and still into each other... great signs.

If you both are so tired, maybe try vitamins? Drinking more water? Working out together?
post #5 of 13
I've just graduated from college as well although I didn't go to a party school and went part time and held down a full time "adult" job at the same time. And even I am beginning to go a little stir crazy with how boring it is now that I'm out. At least with school, there were always new people around to me and things to see and do.

But in order to open up my life a little, I joined up with Big Sisters and have been assigned a little which is a lot of fun. I'm getting ready to buy a bicycle just so I have a reason to get out of the house and have something to do that is in-expensive. There are a lot of biking trails around here and the weather heading towards being nice. I tried the gym but find I can't motivate myself to go. Honestly it's hard to find things to fill in the time any more.

I don't know how people do stuff every night though, how would you get any chores around the house done at all? But I try to get out several times a week. Just get out and try some different things and see what fits for you.
post #6 of 13
I think it sounds pretty normal to settle into a routine, it seems to happen to everyone at some point in their life. I can sympathise tho, I finished unversity almost two years ago and I almost drove myself crazy missing 'the uni way of life' I'm lucky, like you, to have a wonderful b/f who keeps me grounded. (He also goes to work 4 hrs before me!) You could try making little changes perhaps, like trying new inexpensive recipies for dinner together? Romance doesn't have to cost money, how about a walk together, or a romantic picnic? At least you have a goal, your house, and you can give yourself something to look forward to.
Good luck, I hope things work out o.k. for you.
post #7 of 13
Jerry and I lead then what you might want to call a "boring " life, but we love it. We both work full time, he works also as a firefighter, so he's gone alot, but we always make time for eachother.........Life I guess is what you put into it and what you want out of it. It's different for everyone....
post #8 of 13
It was like that with me and my husband when we first dating...had all the time in the world to party and what not...then reality. The reality of it is that your relationship has to change with life...like now you both have full time jobs and conflicting schedules...and your making it work. What my husband and I did..because we just bought a house, and we dont have a lot of money...is we will plan something really fun...kinda like a date. Like a friday evening, we eat dinner, and then take Bjourne with us to the beach, and get slurpees from 7-eleven or something, and just walk and talk, and enjoy the night out.
Or, we go to his brothers house, and a bunch of us start playing cards, and its usually 11 when we leave (we live an hour away from Larry) so that we have "US" time when we get home.
We look forward to bubble baths together where we rehash the day.
Its hard, I know, and you want to hold on to the way you used to be, but your relationship has grown, and gotten stronger, and you two have gotten closer, and the activities you do need to change as well. So your friends think you guys are a bummer, so what??? You are on a schedule, and you have your own place to take care of...and maybe you two wanted some downtime together before you went to bed.
Jeremy and I like to put in a favorite movie and eat popcorn, and make margaritas or smoothies or something. The best thing I ever did was buy a smoothie maker!!!!
Good Luck, and as long as you 2 are still into eachother, you are fine.
post #9 of 13
hmm well you have more of an exciting life than me...
bf and i are always stuck at home and im trying to think of ideas what to do...
money is tight now we have payed off all of the debts, but we are saving up for a new car.
we do little things like cook together and watch tv cuddling on the bed,
he refuses to go for walks, so im by my self at that.
Infact today he had a big discussion to me about it because i wanted to go out and get us an ice cream and do something fun since it was sunny but i ended up staying home untill dark.
at times like this id rather get a dog and live by the beach!
post #10 of 13
Is there a hobby you could do together? After 20 yrs of marriage we pretty much have a routine but he enjoys woodworking and I will help him sometimes. We have to finish the "workshop" yet this spring and I will help him. I enjoy gardening and we built my potting shed together and laid the bluestone patio. He will go to gardens with me of course walk much faster than me but hey thats okay. Shopping well you know it just doesn't work!! We also do separate things too which I think is important. We do watch tv in winter but now that its getting nicer outside we will be doing stuff.
post #11 of 13
Its definately a little tough to recognize that you have entered a tiresome routine. There are lots of excellent suggestions in this thread...I should take some of them up myself. I dont know where you live, but here in winterland, it definately is easier to find more things to do/get involved in the warmer months. Good thing spring is....verging on being here. Dont worry about going to bed early - when you have to be up in the morning, theres often no choice! Good Luck with everything.
post #12 of 13
I would just add that I think it important to keep your friends. Don't get so 'into' each other that you have no time for friends, and being with friends needn't cost much money - we used to have mobile suppers, a course at each house, or pot luck events, with everyone bringing something. Playing cards or watching videos with friends, and of course meeting for a hike or bike ride in summer with a pic-nic all helps to bind you all together and prevent boredom. And keep your individual friends too - make time for a coffee with a girl friend, or whatever. I think all that builds up to a healthy relationship and lots of interest in life.
post #13 of 13
....and to add...but I don't want to sound preachy, so please - this is just a reflex feeling and that is, you're not in college anymore. You are now adults as you say with adult lives and responsibilities..... I do feel that what you're experiencing is the need to develop stuff in your lives from WITHIN your own brains and bods....life boring?! Never! I wish I had more time for my hobbies, interests, friends, and Eric, too, but I don't. I do see that many young people are so used to being "fed" stimuli that they really are at a loss sometimes to cultivate themselves from within...always looking to other people and stumuli to be their jumper-cables and bring life to them. Now you can slap me, but I wanted to add that. I'm sure you're a fantastic couple but cultivate some hobbies and interests, even a little bit, and you'll notice a difference.
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