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co workers obsessed with my personal life!?

post #1 of 28
Thread Starter 
As a general rule, I don't discuss my personal life at work- the only things I talk about at work regarding my personal life are my furbabies..

For the last 5 weeks, these student workers (called CLAs) who work for me and others at our University's Career Center have been CONVINCED that I have a boyfriend and have been driving me NUTS regarding this. They actually met about this and discussed me!?! They have been asking me almost EVERY DAY!!

Originally when they brought this up with me, I asked them why they thought this and they presented me with this silly theory they have.

They said they noticed about 5 weeks ago, that I had started leaving work EARLY or on time instead of working late which I am well known for doing.

I also have started buying lunches in the food court everyday instead of bringing lunches from home - they think that means I must be too busy at nights with my boyfriend to prepare lunches!

I have that "in love" glow on my face (DUH, I had been STRESSED out in Feb due to coordinating an Internship & Job Fair and after that was over, I felt so RELIEVED! That's why I have a glow on my face! LOL)

A guy- ADAM- has been coming to my office a lot and leaving with me (He's a married guy with a pregnant wife! He gets rides from me because his car is having problems).

Originally when they asked me this, I refused to comment on this saying this is my personal business (I did point out that Adam catches rides from me and that he's happily married)but they have been nagging at me almost every day trying to find out WHO it is, etc...

Once I finally got fed up and told one CLA that NO I DIDN'T have a boyfriend and she immediately said I was lying and I said "That's why I didn't say anything in the first place because no matter what I say you guys will believe what you want!" Jeez.

They also actually had the nerve to mention this to my boss!! He finds this hilarious and have told them that they need to get a life!

Yesterday was the first day back from the Spring Break for students and within half an hour of working, the CLA's were at it again. One CLA asked me how my cats were with my new "guest". At first, I was totally lost and asked what the heck he was talking about. He said "NICE TRRYYY!!!" I asked if he meant Tango who I recently adopted and he said "NO! I said how are the CATS taking to your NEW GUEST!?" I have NO idea where they got the idea that I am having a guest now (I think he was implying that this "boyfriend" was staying with me)!

Yesterday afternoon for over an hour, THREE CLA's kept sending me msgs via AIM asking about this boyfriend!!! I had told Adam about this and he has seen some of their behavior and he wants me to get back at them so here's what we are doing.. SWEET REVENGE...

I've decided to add a poll here to see if other people have had similar experiences regarding this so please vote!
post #2 of 28
thats it! just double bluff them them, that'll teach 'em
post #3 of 28
Thread Starter 
Adam and Lisa (his wife) put together a box of surprises (some flowers, candy and a "mushy romantic" card in the box and for the return address he wrote "LAS" which stands for Lisa Adam Sch..

Adam also said he drew a big red arrow on the front of the box to the side of the box and in big bold red words said "OPEN when you're ALONE". He dropped it off at the post office here on campus because we know CLAs are responsible to get all mail for us. HEHEHE..

One CLA is supposed to pick mail up today around 3:00 so Adam and I are waiting to see the fireworks from this! I know this CLA will FREAK out when she sees this box and will tell the other CLAS about it.

Serves them right huh? What do u guys think?? Has this happened to u at your workplace???

I just find it a bit weird that my co workers and student workers would find my personal life so interesting!!
post #4 of 28
thats a brilliant idea.

i cant say people have been obsessed with my personal life, but when i was working at a bar, they wanted to know everything all the time about me and my bf, they really irratated me in the end
post #5 of 28
Thread Starter 
Really? Gosh, I guess it's hard for me to understand because I try to respect other people's privacy and just ask how they're doing and not ask for details. If they want to share details, they can but I don't ask for it.

I remember once, I was working on an important project in my office when a new staff member burst into my office and said that I had to come right away. I thought something was wrong due to him bursting in and rushing me so I dropped everything and followed him... As we walked down the hallway (one side is a wall of windows so we can look out into the lobby where students gathers to drink coffee, relax, etc), I saw a group of staff members and student workers gathered around one window looking down. As I walked up to them, they looked at me and said they found the PERFECT man for me! I thought "WHAT THE HECK!?" They proceeded to point two men out to me and some said they favored one over the other one because he seemed more outgoing, etc while others favored the other one because he seemed more stable and serious.

I stared at them and asked " You actually pulled me away from work for THIS?!?"


last year, I was having a meeting with the student workers to explain about upcoming employers visits and I ended the meeting by asking if they had any questions. One student worker had the nerve to ask me in front of everyone why I hadn't found a man yet! That really threw me off for a min. I finally responded and said I meant questions RELATED to work and that I won't respond to THAT question since it won't affect THEIR work!
post #6 of 28
I'm the same way at work. I've got some very close friends and they know a lot about me, but as far as my work acquaintances, I don't disclose much. I don't talk about boyfriends, I don't talk about much of anything but work. There's one in particular that just can't seem to shut up wanting to know if I have a boyfriend, who he might be, where he lives, what he does, etc, etc, etc. I end up not answering the majority of the time. I don't like talking about my romantic life with people that don't need to know!

You'll have to let us know what happens when the CLA picks up the box!!!
post #7 of 28
Theres a girl at work who is obsessed with what goes on in my private life. I don't mind discussing things with her but i think the reason behind it is because she doesn't have a life of her own outside of work so she has to draw from other peoples?!, and i'd say it was the same with this lot.

Tell them to get a life instead of getting thrills from yours!

I think it's funny though how your all playing along to it!
post #8 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by rosiemac
Theres a girl at work who is obsessed with what goes on in my private life. I don't mind discussing things with her but i think the reason behind it is because she doesn't have a life of her own outside of work so she has to draw from other peoples?!, and i'd say it was the same with this lot.

Tell them to get a life instead of getting thrills from yours!

I think it's funny though how your all playing along to it!
LIke Adam pointed out, they won't believe me no matter how many times I deny having a boyfriend so why not play along with them..

I have told them many times that I'm sure their lives are more interesting than mine!! They're college students so I know they go wild on the weekends! I have heard some hair raising stories regarding their antics! So there's no way they would be having boring lives and have the need to live through my life! (does that make sense?) I also pointed out that if they want to see something exciting to watch tv or soap operas!

They keep saying they WANT to know what's up with me since I don't say much about my personal life! They said that I am their soap opera! GEE.. Do you think I should start charging them a fee since they think I'm their soap opera???
post #9 of 28
Pfffttt they want soap operas!. Point them in the direction of where i work and it's just like one!
post #10 of 28
One co-worker in particular shares every detail about her life and all her relatives. Sorry I'm just not that interested. Then some ask -your so quiet what's wrong. Nothing- I just don't want to share my life in detail with others.
I just never have a snappy come back-does anyone?????
post #11 of 28
Thread Starter 
GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! They are playing games with me now!!! It's past 3:30 -one CLA always get mail at 3 and the box should've been delivered to me by now. I know for a fact that she went to the post office because i gave her some mail to take...

I just called the post office to ask if there's a box for me and there isn't so either one of the CLAs are holding it until our meeting today at 4 and giving it to me in front of everyone or the box has been misplaced!!

Let's see if I can be a good actress and act surprised and embarrassed!
post #12 of 28
I don't get into the nitty gritty but they ask b/c they are some of my best friends.
post #13 of 28
Pamela, they sure seem to be fixated on whether you're dating or not. They must think you're a real catch or something. Perhaps they might even have a crush on you.
post #14 of 28
I have a few people here that I discuss my private life with, one being my mother in law, but I work in a small office, and we generally have "general" conversations. Not a lot of detail or anything. I dont mind talking if they ask.
It sounds me as if your CLAs are having a good ol' time making tou twitch!! And apparently, they are finding it quite amusing!!
Let us know how it turns out!!
post #15 of 28
Those kids need to get lives of their own, and the office manager needs to let them know that once they are out of college, behaviour like that is totally unacceptable in a professional environment.
I used to work in an office where some people were WAY too obsessed with the private lives of their coworkers, so I know how frustrating it can be.

The prank sounds great! hehe
post #16 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
rosiemac Pfffttt they want soap operas!. Point them in the direction of where i work and it's just like one!
I would be very happy to point them in your direction!

Quote:
GailC I just never have a snappy come back-does anyone?????
I don't come up with a snappy come back very often myself!

Quote:
eburgess I don't get into the nitty gritty but they ask b/c they are some of my best friends.
Yeah, I would discuss some stuff about my personal life with my best friends but not with people from work- I don't hang out with them outside of work..

Quote:
Hydroaxe Pamela, they sure seem to be fixated on whether you're dating or not. They must think you're a real catch or something. Perhaps they might even have a crush on you.
Ryan, you're right- they are fixated on whether I'm dating or not! about me being a real catch or them having crushes on me- I don't think so Half of the CLAs are women and most of the men have girlfriends so I highly doubt anyone has a crush on me!

Quote:
diane8704 It sounds me as if your CLAs are having a good ol' time making tou twitch!! And apparently, they are finding it quite amusing!!
Oh yeah they are doing a good job of making me twitch!!!

Quote:
Zoe'n'MissKitty Those kids need to get lives of their own, and the office manager needs to let them know that once they are out of college, behaviour like that is totally unacceptable in a professional environment.
LOL, the problem is that co workers are also involved in this!! Co workers have given me a hard time about my dating life in front of the CLA's!

Okay u guys wanna hear what happened with the box?? It was HILARIOUS!!
post #17 of 28
Yes yes yes!!! Tell us about the box!!
post #18 of 28
Thread Starter 
I sure WISH I could've filmed this whole thing and shown it to u guys!!!!

As I said in my previous post, I was supposed to join the CLA meeting at 4 pm to give them updates about employers coming to recruit. Around 3:50ish, one CLA im'd me and said "There is a box for you in the Career Library".

I said "Oh? Okay, please bring it to my office"

After pausing for a min, he replied "No, you need to come HERE for it."

I said, "Why?" I wanted to make this harder for them. HEHEHE

He didn't reply so I said, "Oh well, I need to go over for the meeting anyway so hold on to the box."

As I walked into the Career Library......... ALL THE CLAS and one co worker who supervises the CLAs were sitting around a table with the box right in the middle of the table. NO ONE WAS SAYING a thing which is very unusual- often they'd be chattering away and I'd have to pound on the table to get their attention (we're all deaf). They just stared at me as I walked up. I had such a HARD time not laughing or grinning....

As I pulled up a chair, I said something like "Oh, is that the box for me?" and started reaching for it. Deb, the co worker and some other CLAs immediately pulled the box out of my reach and said that I must open it THERE with them. I pretended to look puzzled at that and asked who the box was from. I pretended to notice the words written in red-"OPEN WHEN ALONE" and said "Oh, this says to open when I'm alone so I can't open it in front of you" When I said that, oh boy!!!!!!!!!! They all started arguing at the same time with me!!!
post #19 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by GailC
One co-worker in particular shares every detail about her life and all her relatives.
We have one of those, where I work. It was bad enough, hearing about all of her trials and tribulations: ex-husband, custody battles, etc. A week or so, ago she felt compelled to "share" her history of STDs. Now, THAT is way too much information!

A few of us swap stories about kids, s/os, pets, etc. but nothing too personal or intimate.
post #20 of 28
Thread Starter 
They basically BEGGED me to open the box.. I refused point blank to open the box in front of them!

I started getting down to business and kept talking over them as they kept trying to interrupt me! It was soooo hard for me not to laugh.

After I was done, I asked if they had any question and about 3-4 clas raised their hands at the same time so I added "RELATED to work!" They ignored my comment and started begging me to open the box again and to admit that it was true- that I had a boyfriend. I wouldn't say anything further..

As I walked out of the Career Library, I looked back and everyone were sitting there with this look on their faces of frustratation and desperation!

After waiting for 10 - 15 min (to let them stew..), I walked past the career library pretending I had an errand and they all waved to get my attention and as I stopped, they all asked stuff like "so what was in the box?! Tell us!?" I said, "well if you REALLY INSIST on knowing, you can come and check it out in my office." As I said that, some CLAs immediately rose and I hastily added "AFTER YOUR MEETING is OVER!" One CLA looked at Deb (my co worker who supervises them) and said "The meeting is over and I MUST know what she got!" I couldn't believe he said that to her!

I felt soooo silly walking back to my office with 3-4 clas right at my heel! Earlier on, I had taken out the wildflowers, candy and the card of the box and put the flowers in a cup full of water.. You wouldn't believe how MUSHY the card was! I left the card at work so tmr when I get in to work, I will type up what they wrote for u guys to read. They said things like "THANK you for the most unforgettable Friday ever! I have not had an evening like that in AGES and I have YOU to thank for it! etc etc".

Anyway, when the clas came in, they started oohing and ahhing over the flowers and I pretended to try to sneak the card away without them noticing (so they'd notice it!) They immediately saw the card and started begging to read it. Of course, I refused saying it was personal. After a few minutes of them begging, I relented and gave them the card to read.

It was HILARIOUS to see their face expressions as they read the card.. One CLA was hopping as she read it and they looked so excited! LOL.. Then they started nagging at me to admit that I was seeing someone and promised if I admitted to it that they would leave me alone so I said "okay, I'm seeing someone!" LOL.

Some CLAs said they really wanted to know WHO it is now and I refused to say. A few minutes later, 2 other clas and Deb, my co worker, came in to check it out and Deb started asking me details like how long have I known this guy? Who made the first move? etc.. I wasn't expecting that so I was giving vague answers. Deb even said she would ask around campus to find out who "LAS" was. They also started guessing when I would get married! GEEEE.. I wasn't expecting THAT! I do NOT want this spreading out on campus and having everyone thinking that I have a boyfriend when I really don't have one!!

At this point, I was starting to feel really guilty! Can you believe it!? I was really surprised and touched to see how excited and happy they were that I had supposedly had a man in my life!

A bit later on, I decided that it was enough so I went back to the Career Library to confess and luckily everyone were still there. I walked in and said I had an announcement. When I said that, one cla said ohh you're going to tell us who your boyfriend is!! LOL

I told them that it was all a joke that Adam and I pulled on them. They refused to believe me.. I started explaining what happened and they continued to refuse to believe me. I was speechless at that point. They still insist that I have a boyfriend!

I guess I give up! I was hoping this prank would teach them a lesson but it backfired in my face! Any ideas you'd like to share with me regarding this!? LOL.
post #21 of 28
Have Adam talk to them. Or just get a real boyfriend. It's a funny story, and I think it's sweet how they care about you and want you to be happy.
post #22 of 28
Have they met Adams' wife before? If not, have her come stomping into your workplace, accusing you of stealing her boyfriend/husband. When the CLAs see it, stop in the middle of the fight and have her hand them her drivers licence. It might do the trick.


As for personal life and work, yeah, we all talk. Come on, I work in a deli with 14 other girls. Of course it's gossip central! Not only that, but all the other girls have children and love to brag about them. I also work with the lewdest woman I have ever met. I'm surprised we haven't been fired for how rowdy we get some nights. (She's married and has two boyfriends, and isn't afraid of details. She has the most hilarious stories, too.)

I'm willing to share just like they do. There isn't much else to do on slow days. I do however hate the fact they're constantly trying to set me up with someone. I'm the only female in the entire grocery store who isn't married or dating someone - no exaggeration! And they think it's even more shameful because I'm 21 years old and I have to date to find someone to marry. They're a little old fashioned, but I think they mean well.
post #23 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
wodesorel Have they met Adams' wife before? If not, have her come stomping into your workplace, accusing you of stealing her boyfriend/husband. When the CLAs see it, stop in the middle of the fight and have her hand them her drivers licence. It might do the trick.
LOL.. That'd be GREAT. However Lisa is very shy and they will be moving back to Utah this Friday.


Quote:
mrsd Have Adam talk to them. Or just get a real boyfriend. It's a funny story, and I think it's sweet how they care about you and want you to be happy.
Adam did tell them a while ago that he was happily married- even showed them his wedding ring and they just rolled their eyes at me...

I agree- it is sweet that they really care about me but... I still don't want them to know all the details about my non existant love life!
I think the best thing now is just to ignore this and hope they give up on this!
post #24 of 28
i think that you should get another box with dead roses and claim ITS ALL OVER
and write all mean words, then you should cry!!
post #25 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by fwan
i think that you should get another box with dead roses and claim ITS ALL OVER
and write all mean words, then you should cry!!

LOL! I actually said something like that to my assistant today-whether I should pretend to be going through a breakup!
post #26 of 28
I've read this whole thread and what I see is you fostering their behaviour. There is no professional conduct in this environment at all which makes it very easy for all the students to behave in totally inappropriate behaviour. As management (if you are management) it is up to you to set guidelines for these kids (because they obviously have no concept of professional behaviour) and teach them correct behaviour for their future should they ever be in another position in a professional office.

Fostering this nosy and intrusive behaviour will do them more harm in their future.
post #27 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yosemite
I've read this whole thread and what I see is you fostering their behaviour. There is no professional conduct in this environment at all which makes it very easy for all the students to behave in totally inappropriate behaviour. As management (if you are management) it is up to you to set guidelines for these kids (because they obviously have no concept of professional behaviour) and teach them correct behaviour for their future should they ever be in another position in a professional office.

Fostering this nosy and intrusive behaviour will do them more harm in their future.
Whoa! To be honest, I don't appreciate your comment about me fostering their unprofessional behavior.

First of all- I did NOT ENCOURAGE this at all in the beginning like I had said in previous postings. I refused to answer their questions and told them I keep my personal and work lives separate.

They kept nagging and trying to find out almost on a daily basis and no matter what I said, it wouldn't stop so that's why my friend suggested doing this so they'd leave me alone.

Please remember that each work environment is different. Maybe in YOUR work environment, there's no jokes or teasing allowed but in my work environment we allow some jokes and teasing because we want students to enjoy working and not feel oppressed. We have set guidelines on what is unacceptable behavior so they know what it is.
post #28 of 28
I must say, that the whole drama is exactly the kind of thing that would happen at my office, precisely the type of thing I would cook up! That being said, MOST of the time, we are very professional and dont overstep eachothers bounds. There is a lot of our personal lives that we do share with eachother, but at the same time, a lot that we dont. In terms of what Yosemite said, while it did seem a little harsh (this thread seems more 'fun' to me), there is complete truth in that your scheme is fostering their behavior. If it is truly upsetting you (other than being a playful annoyance) you must not encourage the bahavior in any way. If it is all fun and games, Id suggest having ANOTHER, (perhaps even from a female!), mystery gift and scandalous card delivered! I suspect they are well aware you DONT have a boyfriend, and just enjoy the game as much as you seem to! (Maybe even subconsciously?)
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