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Noah's Ark  

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 

The Lord spoke to Noah and said, "Noah, in six months I am going to make it rain until the whole world is covered with water and all the evil things are destroyed. But, I want to save a few good people and two of every living thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build an ark."

And, in a flash of lightning, he delivered the specifications for the ark.

"OK," Noah said, trembling with fear and fumbling with the blueprints, "I'm your man."

"Six months and it starts to rain," thundered the Lord. "You better have my ark completed or learn to swim for a long, long time!"

Six months passed, the sky began to cloud up, and the rain began to fall in torrents. The Lord looked down and saw Noah sitting in his yard, weeping, and there was no ark.

"Noah!" shouted the Lord, "where is My ark?" A lightning bolt crashed into the ground right beside Noah.

"Lord, please forgive me!" begged Noah. "I did my best, but there were some big problems. First, I had to get a building permit for the ark's construction, but your plans did not meet their code. So, I had to hire an engineer to redo the plans, only to get into a long argument with him about whether to include a fire-sprinkler system."

"My neighbors objected, claiming that I was violating zoning ordinances by building the ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning board. Then, I had a big problem getting enough wood for the ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists and the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service that I needed the wood to save the owls, but they wouldn't let me catch them, so no owls." "Next, I started gathering up the animals but got sued by an animal rights group that objected to me taking along only two of each kind. Just when the suit got dismissed, the EPA notified me that I couldn't complete the ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood. They didn't take kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of a Supreme Being." "Then, the Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed floor plan. I sent them a globe! Right now, I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Equal Opportunities Commission over how many minorities I'm supposed to hire." "The IRS has seized all my assets claiming that I am trying to leave the country, and I just got a notice from the state that I owe some kind of use tax. Really, I don't think I can finish the ark in less than five years."

With that, the sky cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up and smiled. "You mean you are not going to destroy the world?" he asked hopefully.

"No," said the Lord, "I am to late, the government already has."

post #2 of 7
How true this is!!
Too bad the government can't see it.
Maybe we should send them this post!
post #3 of 7
Actually, at this time the government is trying very hard to not let a group of extremist, religious fanatics from destroying the world. They will come out of this war with a different slant on the world after it is all over because of the events of 9-11 IMO
post #4 of 7
Hissy...do you believe in the Easter Bunny Too??

Seriously tho,I hope you're right,but I wouldn't bet anything important on it. Your govt is no different in their attitudes than ours or anybody elses. They all feel untouchable and superior to all we peasants. Nothing has really changed from the days of kings and lords..just the titles.

The ONLY way the govts will change is if we force them to. We have to stop accepting what they and the media tell us to think. We must take the time to inform ourselves on the issues and keep right on top of our representatives. We need them to know that they no longer can get away with BSing us every four years.

We HAVE to make them stop meddling in other country's affairs. Helping is one thing..but putting price tags on that help must stop.
All of our govts are doing that...ours is just sneakier about it.
post #5 of 7
Thread Starter 

All I'm going to say is that this is satire. Plain and simple :laughing2...there's no reason to start a debate over something so silly I still think it's cute and in no way serves as propaganda.
Besides the ark wasn't built in America. :laughing2
post #6 of 7
just playing along.

Govt's are SUCH an easy target,it's almost a shame to pot 'em.

Actually,when you look at all the diverse problems they have to deal with,it's beyond me why anybody WANTS the job.
post #7 of 7
I'm just thankful that there are people willing to take the job and I really believe that some of them try and make a difference. They may be outnumbered, but I believe they do exsist.
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