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What does your answering machiene say?

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 
What does your answering machiene say?


My sister's message is "If you can pronounce our name leave a message. If you can't don't bother"

The below is from a joke thread on a runboard.

Great Answering Machine Messages
These are supposedly actual answering machine announcements.

1. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

2. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.

3. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

4. Hi. Now you say something.

5. Hi, I'm not home right now, but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.

6. Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?

7. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner!

8. Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message and then wait by your phone until I call you back.

9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.

10. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number and your reason for calling, and I'll think about returning your call.

11. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

12. If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave a message. "

So what does your answering machiene say?
post #2 of 5
My friend's voice mail message was the best. He was a gay man, and he had one of our female friends record it.

(In a completely good Valley Girl voice. Think Tour Guide Barbie from Toy Story 2.) Hello? Hello? Hello? Oh Hiiii! This is Nicki, and you've reached Matty's voice mail. Leave a message with me, and I'll make sure he gets it. Okay! Buy-bye, buy-bye, buy-bye now, buy-bye, see ya!

The first time I called I thought I dialed the wrong number. The only message he got from me was about a minute and a half of laughter, before I was cut off.
post #3 of 5
I bought Doug a soft toy in the shape of a cow (for Christmas one year). It moos and laughs (in a crazy sort of way). So we have that on our answer machine, with some talking too. We had to put the talking on, because when it was just the crazy cow, we never got any messages! I suppose people just didn't know what to make of it.....

We often have silly messages as our outgoing message. One time we had a succession of Looney Toons theme tunes, I liked those. Another time we had part of a record (Baa Baa Black Sheep, by the Singing Sheep - yes, a real record, with real sheep on it!!).

I reckon, if the caller has no sense of humour, I don't want to hear their message anyway.

post #4 of 5
At the apartment our message is me and Tiff sharing the lines. It's simple though: she says: "Hey you've reached Tiffany and" then me: "Katherine" then her "leave us a message at the" then me "beep!" We just decided to be cheesy and do something like that. It makes people laugh since we sound so bubbly in it.
post #5 of 5
I work at a place where I have to leave a lot of messages for people so I have heard some good ones. My favorite was this guy played the mexican hat dance and said Ole or something at the end. He was not mexican. And someone else did the safe auto commercial on theirs (you know, that this is rick and this is rick's wife jane and this is rick and jane's daughter sue and this is rick and jane's mailman steve and this is rick and jane's dog fido, etc..)

Mine just is plain. My bf's has me laughing like a heina in the bakground by mistake.
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