Originally Posted by eburgess
Even if you tattoo DNR on your chest, would it be counted as a living will??? My parents went throught that whole thing a few years ago. Instead of giving that responcibility to my brother sister and I (we were 20 at the time) they gave it to my Dad's older sister and my Mom's older sister. I was disapointed that they didn't feel we could be trusted.
I've been through this when my father passed away.
Both my parents have Living Wills and have for many years (since I was a teenager). They have extremely good friends designated as the executors.
When my father was diagnosed with end-stage liver cirrhosis his girlfriend called me up to tell me, and to go to the hospital. When I got there, I was the only legal next-of-kin so the doctor immediately sat down and told me the prognosis. Not good -- he would die, period, and it would probably happen within days to at most a month.
I told my father GF the news and stated that we needed to call my father's good friend John and she needed to go home and find my father's living will.
John came to the hospital every day. He allowed me to make all the decisions, but was very clear to say (and I knew it) that if I wavered from my father's wishes he'd step in. We tried to include my father's GF in all the decisions and she went along with most of what we were saying, though it was VERY hard for her.
She later admitted that if she had KNOWN what his living was all about she would have pretended not to be able to find it.
It is HARD to let go... it is hard to face reality when you want your loved-ones to live one with you. But their wishes needed to be respected... they have that right! Spouses and good friends OFTEN know more about these wishes more than parents do... as the opportunity to discuss it with your parents comes up less often or is too hard to think about.
I do believe Terry's husband and good friend who say she didn't want to be kept alive this way. Knowing she was a nurse probably contributes to me believing it just a little tiny bit more, but honestly I would believe it even if she wasn't a nurse. It's not far fetched to think her husband and friend knew this about her but her parents didn't (and to me, it seems her parents are having a hard time facing reality). It's also completely appropriate for her spouse to make this decision.