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What do you look for in a true friend? - Page 2

post #31 of 47
Mr. Cat; This is for you: Thank God for the friends that helped you back; so we could meet and enjoy your wit and wisdom here at TCS. I know what it is to loose loved ones (both slowly and painfully and quick and imobilzingly, shockingly sad), but nothing is worse than loosing your sense of self, self-worth, and dignity. I have been there, Joe and only those of us who have, know how much it hurts and how confusing it can be at the same time. Like your experience; most friends and family blamed me for(their words) "the sorry state of affairs I had gotten myself into. . . " A few TRUE friends and two wonderful family members; helped me climb back up out of the whole my life had slipped into and I will never forget (or be able to repay) their kindnesses, but they are also the type of True Friends who remember but don't rehash. . .
post #32 of 47
Joe, Darlene said it so well....and I am so glad you survived those hard times and that I have met you. I will be a friend for life,if you want me to be, and even if we disagree, I will still love you, and be here for you. And that is all I ask in return.
post #33 of 47
Darlene, thank you for your kindness and understanding. I'm sorry to learn you've gone through this sort of thing as well. Nevertheless, it does make those who stand by us in times of need all the more appreciated and loved!

Debby, thanks a bunch for your expressions of friendship! You are a good person and I'm proud to know you — and to call you a friend.

post #34 of 47


In my short time here on this planet, I too have had some near brushes with
a. Death
b. Death
c. Death...3x I have been saved from my own "self"; it's a long story and not the best story to release. Needless to say, I have come out from the gutter and wound up on the upside of life only due to ONE real friend (angel) and that was my Mom with God on my side too! Everyone else in my family, all my "friends" had given up on me
and/or disowned me. Now, when everything's really good; everyone wants to be my "friend"...unreal huh? LOL

I stated early on in this thread the same thing that you just reiterated to Darlene in your last post. Nothing can be closer to the truth.

I have lot's of aquaintances and that's very nice. I can truly say that I've made more friends online than I have on the outside and I wonder if it's because I only have to deal with people online when I turn my computer on. Then again, that can't be true, because they are my friends and I think of them throughout the day and sincerely can't wait to hear from them to see how their day went, etc.

So, with that, I just wanted to say that I can relate to what Darlene said about being confused and hurt; looking for the right direction etc. It's hard to do alone; I just thank God that I didn't have to and I'm certainly happy for you that you had some really great people there for you Joe.

Love & Hugs,
post #35 of 47
Thank you for your well-wishes! I do hope things are all right with you, too. You know, it's odd: All my life — most of it anyway — I've had few acquaintances. But I've always managed to have a few good friends.

Nowadays, I don't encounter my actual friends frequently; but they're there nonetheless. We visit from time to time, but mostly it's just me and the gals (Michaela and Tonya) hanging around the home.

So, the inter-net has taken on a greater degree of importance in my life. And blah blah blah. Now, when are you showing up here in the Beaver State?

post #36 of 47

Not soon enough Joe. Not soon enough!
post #37 of 47
Cat, when you decide to visit us Beavers/Ducks (bring an umbrella) you'd better let Me know too!
I prefer to think of us as The Rose City though, that and all the gorgeous trees kind of makes up for all the rain?

I'd love to meet so many of the people I've "met" here!
I have tons of aquaintances, and several casual friends, but only 3 really close friends, people I can truly trust, confide in, and who understand me but love me anyway. Unfortunately, we tend to be so busy with our personal stuff, its hard to find time to get together...I think it's time to make time.
post #38 of 47

I know that the weather is waaaaay different from Florida :laughing2
Philip has a few good friends up there and I know a few people up tht way myself I'm looking forward to visiting! So, I'll definitely email you guys when we'll be on our way.

Love & Hugs,
post #39 of 47
A friend is someone who would go out of their way to help when you need it. To be there when you need them. Kind, honest, and dependable. Someone to share laughter and tears. Someone who is willing to lend their shoulders to cry on. For hugs. A friend does not judge you. A friend could care less what you have done in the past.

When I was 19-20 years old I was having a hard time. It was very hard finding friends here. Then, I went to a church youth group and for the first time in my life, I was with people who truly cared about me. They did not judge me because I was fat and did not speak good spanish. They cared that I really needed a friend. They lent me their homes when I was homeless.
post #40 of 47
Nena, your post was very good, and your description of a true friend was great!

It seems that alot of so called friends are only around when you are happy and things are going great in your life....but when things are really messed up, and you are depressed and very down, alot of those people just don't want to be around you. A true friend is there through the good and the bad, because they really love you.

I have a few really good friends like that, but I also have a few who I found out the hard way, were more interested in being my friend during the 'good' times.
post #41 of 47
A friend is someone who loves you....not BECAUSE, but ALTHOUGH.
post #42 of 47
Well I have had friends off and on all my life. None that I could say were best friend, but friends just the same. But like everthing else in life, people you are friends with sometimes changes. Just as we change. The internet...well I have been on the net for ages and it was just last year that I met someone who I KNOW will be my best friend for life. Yep, I guess all you guys/gals that have been on the forum for awhile know who I am speaking of. Now I can truely say that I have a BEST friend! Even though we don't get to see each other often our love and friendship grows. And I would like to say, Thank You Wayne for being that friend and much more!

post #43 of 47
A friend is someone who accepts you and you accept even though you disagree on things. Someone who will listen, come over or invite you over when you are down or do something they really don't want to do just because they know you want them to. And most important a friend in loyal. Even if you are mad at them or they are mad at you, you stand by your friend.
post #44 of 47
I knew a gal once that I met over the Internet and we found out we were only a short distance from each other, so we decided to meet. At first, everything was great, we had so much in common and our love of animals cemented it all together. We started spending a lot of time together on weekends going riding and stuff. But as time went on I noticed that the friendship was very one-sided. In other words, if I did everything this person wanted to do, then the friendship went swimmingly, but the minute I showed an ounce of independence, she got upset and would start belittling me and telling me that I really didn't know what I was talking about and she would ramrod over the top of me. It took awhile to wise up, I found out later that the term for her was Controller and finally, one afternoon I broke it off with her once and for all. She was totally floored and couldn't believe that I did this, but once I walked away, it was so liberating.

I know that probably a lot of people on this board have run into this type of person or even worse, and one thing it taught me was to really value the true friends, the ones who accept me for who and what I am and do not ask me to conform to what they believe a friend to them should be. She really hurt me in the long run but I am grateful for that hurt because it allows me to treasure true friendship so much more. She is the type of person who can only have one friend at a time and for that, I feel truly sorry for her, it really limits her world.
post #45 of 47
I had a chance to speak to a couple of my close friends from home today, so I'm still feeling the glow that comes from talking to the really special people in your life.

I was thinking about this topic after I hung up with them, and what made me cherish them so much. No matter how low I feel when I talk to them, they never fail to make me feel better. They don't judge me, they don't tell me how I f'ed up, they don't do anything but prop me up, and make me laugh, and appreciate what I have. I've never hung up with any of my friends feeling worse than I did before I called, or even just as bad. A friend should bring out the best in you. Bring out your own kindness and your own humility. But that's just my opinion.
post #46 of 47
A friend is a friend because of what they are to you, and vice versa, not what they do for you.

Plain and simple.
post #47 of 47
Hissy, AP and Deb25....your thoughts on true friendship are right on the money. I couldn't agree more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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