What do you look for in a true friend?

Catarina

thank you for your kind words. what can I say? We all carry around sorrow and loss in our hearts. It's amazing what you can live with if forced to. I know she is watching out over me, and I draw my strength from that.

I have been very fortunate in life, I have several good friends. I have 2 best friends. My first best friend passed away earlier this year. She was in a coma for several days before I was contacted. She lived in Alaska and I'm in California, I didn't get to say goodbye, she was only 43. But you know, we had the type of friendship that we didn't have to always talk to each other... we knew when we were needed most and we were there for each other. If we didn't talk for a month, our next call would pick up from the last as if it were only yesterday. Her name was Toni Arvold, she lives on in my heart. We'll meet again some day and pick up from where we left off...

JoJo

When my son died, I also lost my best friend. We had been married around the same time, got pregnant at the same time and when I went into early labor and lost the baby (he was 18 hours old when he died) She came to see me and it was really awkward. We had been doing everything together up till then, and after that one visit, I didn't see her again until after her daughter was born. I went over to give her a gift at the hospital and I could tell that she was uncomfortable around me and I soon left.

Many years later when we got together she confessed to me that she felt so bad for me she didn't know what to say, then when Kaylee was born, she felt guilty. But by that time we had pretty much pushed each other away. We are still in touch today when I go home to visit, but we don't have that best friend aspect we used to carry. She went on to have 4 healthy girls and she went one way in life and I the other. We were both so young back then, guess we didn't understand the true meaning of friendship and let death cloud the issue.

This is an excellent thread idea! Thank you!



There are different types of friends: childhood friends, comrades in military service, adulthood friends, et cetera. I've been blessed with good friends throughout my life!

During the 1990s I became homeless and was also embroiled in an international media-circus controversy. Nevertheless, there were four people who stood tall as friends; and I shall love them forever! They weren't judgmental about my being homeless nor regarding my point of view in the journalistic media. They were just there for me. They gave me food and lodging when they could; they provided unlimited moral support; they, in fact, saved my life.



Sadly, during that same period of time I lost a few friends. They couldn't handle the fact I was homeless, nor could they distinguish beween me and the media circus. One of those lost friends has been found again; and for that I'm eternally grateful.



So, I guess I'd say a true friend is someone who doesn't abandon you when your ship is sinking: They stick with you while you're struggling to find safety; and they're still there when all is well again.

:tounge2:

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I know this is nothing compared to what some of you have been through, but I feel like sulking today.... I left all my closest/best friends behind when I moved to be with my husband....so now I don't see my best pal Sarah anymore, and I rarely see my Mum and sisters who were also like my best friends....snif....My hubby is now my best friend which is great, but ya know, I just miss the "girl stuff"?!! I guess thats what comes from living in a house of four women!! ha ha ha.... Im still sulking though....

Thank you Catarina, for your kind words, and for all of you, it is a bit strange for me to be telling everyone my life story, i usually don`t do that, as people seem to run a mile when they learn about all the tragedy. So thank you all, and my love to you all who have lost loved ones too, it is very hard to have to go through.

And Bodlover, i know what you mean about not being around your girl friends, i don`t have any female friends over here (i too moved to be with my best friend husband) but thank goodness for e-mail thats all i can say! My mum, too, says she hears more from me when i am over here than when i am at home

Thank you all again
Chee

I am so sorry to hear about everyone's losses, (Chee, Colby, Hissy) among others. It is so hard to lose family members, and people who have never been through it, just don't understand the pain of it, and that it never goes away. My prayers are with you all.

Mr. Cat; This is for you: Thank God for the friends that helped you back; so we could meet and enjoy your wit and wisdom here at TCS. I know what it is to loose loved ones (both slowly and painfully and quick and imobilzingly, shockingly sad), but nothing is worse than loosing your sense of self, self-worth, and dignity. I have been there, Joe and only those of us who have, know how much it hurts and how confusing it can be at the same time. Like your experience; most friends and family blamed me for(their words) "the sorry state of affairs I had gotten myself into. . . " A few TRUE friends and two wonderful family members; helped me climb back up out of the whole my life had slipped into and I will never forget (or be able to repay) their kindnesses, but they are also the type of True Friends who remember but don't rehash. . .

Joe, Darlene said it so well....and I am so glad you survived those hard times and that I have met you. I will be a friend for life,if you want me to be, and even if we disagree, I will still love you, and be here for you. And that is all I ask in return.

Darlene, thank you for your kindness and understanding. I'm sorry to learn you've gone through this sort of thing as well. Nevertheless, it does make those who stand by us in times of need all the more appreciated and loved!



Debby, thanks a bunch for your expressions of friendship! You are a good person and I'm proud to know you — and to call you a friend.



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Thank you for your well-wishes! I do hope things are all right with you, too. You know, it's odd: All my life — most of it anyway — I've had few acquaintances. But I've always managed to have a few good friends.

Nowadays, I don't encounter my actual friends frequently; but they're there nonetheless. We visit from time to time, but mostly it's just me and the gals (Michaela and Tonya) hanging around the home.

So, the inter-net has taken on a greater degree of importance in my life. And blah blah blah. Now, when are you showing up here in the Beaver State?



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Not soon enough Joe. Not soon enough! :laughing2

Cat, when you decide to visit us Beavers/Ducks (bring an umbrella) you'd better let Me know too!
I prefer to think of us as The Rose City though, that and all the gorgeous trees kind of makes up for all the rain?

I'd love to meet so many of the people I've "met" here!
I have tons of aquaintances, and several casual friends, but only 3 really close friends, people I can truly trust, confide in, and who understand me but love me anyway. Unfortunately, we tend to be so busy with our personal stuff, its hard to find time to get together...I think it's time to make time.

A friend is someone who would go out of their way to help when you need it. To be there when you need them. Kind, honest, and dependable. Someone to share laughter and tears. Someone who is willing to lend their shoulders to cry on. For hugs. A friend does not judge you. A friend could care less what you have done in the past.

When I was 19-20 years old I was having a hard time. It was very hard finding friends here. Then, I went to a church youth group and for the first time in my life, I was with people who truly cared about me. They did not judge me because I was fat and did not speak good spanish. They cared that I really needed a friend. They lent me their homes when I was homeless.

Nena, your post was very good, and your description of a true friend was great!

It seems that alot of so called friends are only around when you are happy and things are going great in your life....but when things are really messed up, and you are depressed and very down, alot of those people just don't want to be around you. A true friend is there through the good and the bad, because they really love you.

I have a few really good friends like that, but I also have a few who I found out the hard way, were more interested in being my friend during the 'good' times.