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Things cats must try to remember.

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 
Ive been sorting out my computer files, and found a couple of things I've saved from other sites in the past, so thought I'd share them with you before I delete them.

Here's the first. If you've seen it before, well, it's a reminder.

Things CATS Must Try To Remember!
> Screaming at the can of food will not make it open itself.
> I should not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase leaves.
> If I put a live mouse in my food bowl, I should not expect it to stay there until I get hungry.
> The guinea pig likes to sleep once in a while. I will not watch him constantly.
> If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.
> I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and growl at nothing right after my human has finished watching "The X-Files".
> Television and computer screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail.
> No matter how dangly and attractive they are, my human's earrings are not cat toys.
> If I play 'dead cat on the stairs' while people are trying to bring in groceries or laundry, one of these days it will really come true.
> My human is capable of cooking bacon and eggs without my help.
> The canned cat food is already dead. I do not need to kill it by swatting bits of it all over the floor.
> I am a carnivore. Potted plants are not meat.
> I will never be able to walk on the ceiling, and staring up the wall and screaming at it will not bring it any closer.
> It is not a good idea to try to lap up the powdered creamer before it all dissolves in the boiling coffee.
> The goldfish likes living in water and must be allowed to remain in its bowl.
> If my human wants to share her sandwich with me, she will give me a piece. She will notice if I start eating it from the other end.
> I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside.
> The large dog in the back yard has lived there for six years. I will not freak out every time I see it.
> I am a neutered cat, not a peacock, and prancing around with my tail fluffed up will not make my balls grow back.
> If I must give a present to my humans overnight guests, my toy mouse is much more socially acceptable than a live cockroach, even if it isn't as tasty.
> Just because I hear voices in my head, I do not have to answer them!
post #2 of 6
I've never seen that before!! Very cute!!
post #3 of 6
Okay, that was hilarious! The whole time I was laughing, my 5 y.o. kitty Mik was staring at me from his perch atop my laptop bag!

Jenn (and the Russian Blue crew)
post #4 of 6
post #5 of 6
post #6 of 6
I really liked this! Very clever!
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