Lilly girl update

well this is day 3 at home with Lilly and I am a little worried about her settling in. she pretty much stays under the bed all the time still except to use the litter box or come out for food a couple times daily. I guess I was hoping for a quicker adjustment, but this is all probably normal and I should not be worried.

We were able to lure her out with food for about 20 min today (we fed her and Ebony together) and she let us pet her (once she is fully comfortable I can tell she will be a luv bug). She even left our bedroom for about 30 sec to check out the bathroom and hallway.

The good news is, she has no problems with other cats. We did the first supervised Ebony and Lilly introduction today and Lilly was calm. Ebony did not hiss she was just staring and trying to figure it all out. When Lilly tried to go into the bathroom to the place where Eb's litterbox was, Ebony followed and then got upset and started hissing at Lilly when she emerged. That we decided was the end of their visit for today.

I guess my biggest concern is Lilly being under the bed for most of the day. What can I try to help coax her out and make her more comfortable with us? Would Feliway help? Or does she simply need more time?

awww! i hope it will be okay in a few days.
maybe coax her out with a few toys?

Originally Posted by fwan

awww! i hope it will be okay in a few days.
maybe coax her out with a few toys?

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Fran,

I've tried that She's really not all that interested in toys yet either.

I don't have a comment on Feliawy as I've never tried it. I do think it's really, really, early. I'm sure that she will be fine. Adult cats are much different than kittens in my experience. It's just going to take a little longer.

Just learn patience Mischka took about 8 months before she stopped hiding when I brought Linx in! Belly rubs!

She'll be alright in the end, just let her be, right there under the bed where's she's happy. Just love on her when she does come out and let her know that it's all gonna be cool.

Feliway is awesome! I used it with my feral kittens, and it really helped. I even took a spray version with me to the vet & spritzed the office. They walked around there like they owned the joint.

You might want to get the room diffuser type. It's kind of pricey, but worth it if it will help Lilly feel better.

I have used Feliway, both with bringing home my Bella and calming a stray - the diffuser really does work. Three days is VERY early for her to be acclimating, especially if she was at the shelter or on her own for any great length of time. Bella was at a no-kill shelter for 5+ YEARS before coming home to be an only cat (until recently ) and it was a few weeks before she became social, and even longer before she realized what PLAY was.

It WILL get better!! Just be sure she is eating and eliminating ok and give her time and space to get used to being loved.

Thanks for the update! Do I remember right that Lilly was at the shelter for at least months? I think I remember you saying that... Anyway, Rica is completely right in saying that what Lilly is doing is perfectly normal. She's had her whole world turned upsidedown. She doesn't know where she is, how long this will last, and who these strange people are. Once she feels safer she will come out on her own. She's just scared right now. Best advice: Leave her alone to acclimate herself. See to her needs and otherwise ignore her so she will know that you aren't going to hurt her. Cats hate being ignored, and she will soon be curious about why you aren't paying attention to her.

I'll move this to Behavior for more replies about Lilly's behavior in her new home.

Originally Posted by valanhb

Thanks for the update! Do I remember right that Lilly was at the shelter for at least months? I think I remember you saying that... Anyway, Rica is completely right in saying that what Lilly is doing is perfectly normal. She's had her whole world turned upsidedown. She doesn't know where she is, how long this will last, and who these strange people are.

Once she feels safer she will come out on her own. She's just scared right now. Best advice: Leave her alone to acclimate herself. See to her needs and otherwise ignore her so she will know that you aren't going to hurt her. Cats hate being ignored, and she will soon be curious about why you aren't paying attention to her.

I'll move this to Behavior for more replies about Lilly's behavior in her new home.

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Thanks, I'm sorry I didn't post in the right place...I'm usually pretty good at thinking about location before I post.

Anyways, for some background. Lilly was a stray, spent a few weeks in foster care, then was at a no kill shelter for a few weeks, was adopted out but the family found they were allergic, was brought back to the no kill shelter, and is now finally home with us. So I can see where her trust is probably lacking. She has no idea that she is now home for good.

I do have some good news though! I kinda slid Lilly's blankie half under the bed last night and half out in the open as I was getting ready for bed. Well she came out! I think she was craving attention. She wanted to be petted, and then she jumped up into the bed with me to cuddle for a bit. She REALLY needs a brushing, so when I got up to get the brush she freaked and went back under the bed. But, then at 4:30am I woke up to hear crunching from her food bowl. She saw me wake up finished eating and then hopped up in the bed with me for more attention. She stayed in bed with me until I woke up at 7:30 this morning.

It sounds like feliway really does work. And I think it might make Ebony feel more comfortable with a new sibling too. So I'll have to look into getting some while I'm out today.

I just want to make sure I am doing everything I can to make my two babies feel at home. Thanks for all your support and advice!

Oh you're doing a great job Beryl... and I'm so excited about Lilly's progress! Fabulous news!

cute! I actually saw Lilly and wanted to get her so I posted some questions on this site. After some convincing I decided to go back and much to my dismay, someone applied to get her after I left!

Glad to see she has a home now

Originally Posted by robotrock

cute! I actually saw Lilly and wanted to get her so I posted some questions on this site. After some convincing I decided to go back and much to my dismay, someone applied to get her after I left!

Glad to see she has a home now

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what a small world. I'm sorry if i "took" the kitty you were eyeing. I did not know!

I have really liked working with HART though. Have you thought about any of the other cats they have? I just want to take all of them home!

What pretty babies, Goos Luck

i think its a good idea to give her space and let her come out on her terms me i would maybe lay down just talk calming to her once a day let her know im not gonna hurt her i would do it at the same time but im not an expert thats what i have done in the past and it works for me i just cant the idea to leave her completely alone to me laying down on there lvl and just quietly talking to them not trying to grap them and if you need advice on getting her used to a brush just let me know i have experience with it

Beryl, she probably just needs time. When Winnie came to live with us (she was 10 months old), she didn't come out from under the bed for a week, except to use the litter. And Francine came to live with us last year (she's about 13 yrs) She didn't come out from under the bed for over a week and didn't come out of the room for another week or so.

I'm sure Lilly will be fine.

Lilly was doing a lot better this weekend. She was taking ownership of her room and was really relaxed with Brendan and I around. We kept the door separating Lilly and Ebony open for most of this weekend, and although they aren't liking each other yet, they will eye each other and keep their distance. Ebony is still growling whenever she gets too close to Lilly, Lilly got annoyed yesterday with this two times and swatted at Eb. Whenever that happened we did separate them.

Then this morning something odd happened. I think Ebony slept with us in our bed for most of the night while Lilly slept on the floor or in our bathroom. They both seemed fine when I woke up, but after my shower something spooked Lilly and she would run away if i got to close. I am not sure what has set her off. But she's back to hiding again. I am wondering if she was upset about Eb sleeping in the bed with us. I don't know.

I am trying so hard to be patient, but its hard to see both of my babies uptight like this. Hopefully Lilly will be feeling better by the time I get home from work.

Could have been either the noise from the shower (you disturbed her beauty sleep! ) or the change in your scent. Freshly showered human smells VASTLY different from day's end, sweaty oily human to a cat!
Just keep working with her slowly, reading to her and letting her come to you. She's doing great!

well not much has changed this weekend. Lilly stays under the bed almost all day, and comes out around 8:30pm to eat and to snuggle. Some nights she'll come out and sleep with us on the bed for just an hour, some nights a good 5 hours. When she is out she is such a snuggle bug, and Brendan and I dote on her and love her to pieces.

Lilly has now been with us for almost 3 weeks. I have used Feliway and Bach's rescue remedy to try and ease her stress. I have tried most of the ideas you have suggested. I am trying my best to give her space and time.

Is there anything else I can be doing to facilitate her curiousity about her surroundings??? Do you think things will be like this for a long while, where she only comes out at night? I am thinking maybe this hiding is characteristic of her being a stray and not having much interaction with humans.

I just want to make sure I am doing everything I can for her to make her feel comfortable.

Hey Beryl, I don't have much to offer in advance but I just wanted to let you know that you're doing a fabulous job taking care of Lilly... I'm sure it must be frustrating to have her continue to hide but hopefully she's starting to get adjusted and it won't be long before she'll be everywhere!