Just thought this was funny!!! Billie sent it to me and it cracked me up.....thought it might give some of you a laugh!!
(C'mon, hands up, who can relate to this!!
- thats my two paws up!! ha ha ha)
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN
>
> 1. Take off clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry basket according
> to lights, darks, whites and man made or natural.
>
> 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If husband is seen along
> the way, cover any exposed flesh, scowl at him and rush to bathroom.
>
> 3. Look at womanly physique in the mirror and stick out belly, complain
> and whine about being fat.
>
> 4. Get in shower, lock for facecloth, armcloth, loincloth, long loofah,
> wide loofah and pumice stone.
>
> 5. Wash hair once in Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
>
> 6. Wash hair again with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added
> vitamins.
>
> 7. Condition hair with Cumcumber and Lamphrey conditioner with enhanced
> crocus oil - leave on for fifteen minutes.
>
> 8. Wash face with crushed appricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red
> raw.
>
> 9. Wash rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
>
> 10. Rinse conditioner off hair taking at least 15 minutes to make sure it
> all comes out.
>
> 11. Shave armpits and legs with husband's razor. Consider, for ten
> minutes, shaving bikini line but decide to get it waxed instead.
>
> 12. Scream loudly when husband flushes toilet and water loses pressure and
> turns red hot.
>
> 13. Turn off shower. Squeegy all wet surfaces in shower. Spray all
> potential mould spots with Tilex
>
> 14. Get out of shower. Dry body with a towel the size of a small African
> nation.
>
> 15. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
>
> 16. Check entire body for remotest sign of spots. Attack any offenders
> with finger nails or tweezers.
>
> 17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
>
> 18. If husband is seen, cover any exposed skin, scowl at him and rush of
> to the bedroom to spend the next two hours getting ready.
>
> HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN
>
> 1. Take off clothes and leave in a pile on the floor.
>
> 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If wife is seen, shake willy at her whilst
> shouting "wey - hey"
>
> 3. Look in mirror and suck in beer gut to admire manly physique.
>
> 4. Admire size of manhood in mirror, scratch ballbag and smell fingers for
> one last whiff.
>
> 5. Get in shower, wash face and armpits.
>
> 6. Laugh at how loud farts sound in the bathroom.
>
> 7. Wash ballbag and surrounding area.
>
> 8. Wash arse, leaving hair on soap.
>
> 9. Shampoo hair but do not use conditioner. Make Mohikan hairstyle with
> lather, pull back curtain to check hairstyle in mirror. Laugh loudly then
> fart even louder, laugh again.
>
> 10. Pee in shower.
>
> 11. Rinse off and get out of shower. Take no notice of water on the
> floor. Consider putting the curtain inside the bath next week when you
> shower again.
>
> 12. Dry quickly.
>
> 13. Look in mirror, suck in gut, flex muscles and admire size of manhood.
>
> 14. Leave bathroom light and fan on.
>
> 15. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If wife is seen, rip off
> towel, grab meat and two veg and thrust pelvis at her whilst shouting
> "It's your lucky day - yeah baby"
>
> 16. Put on yesterday's clothes.
>
:laughing:
(C'mon, hands up, who can relate to this!!
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN
>
> 1. Take off clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry basket according
> to lights, darks, whites and man made or natural.
>
> 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If husband is seen along
> the way, cover any exposed flesh, scowl at him and rush to bathroom.
>
> 3. Look at womanly physique in the mirror and stick out belly, complain
> and whine about being fat.
>
> 4. Get in shower, lock for facecloth, armcloth, loincloth, long loofah,
> wide loofah and pumice stone.
>
> 5. Wash hair once in Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
>
> 6. Wash hair again with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added
> vitamins.
>
> 7. Condition hair with Cumcumber and Lamphrey conditioner with enhanced
> crocus oil - leave on for fifteen minutes.
>
> 8. Wash face with crushed appricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red
> raw.
>
> 9. Wash rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
>
> 10. Rinse conditioner off hair taking at least 15 minutes to make sure it
> all comes out.
>
> 11. Shave armpits and legs with husband's razor. Consider, for ten
> minutes, shaving bikini line but decide to get it waxed instead.
>
> 12. Scream loudly when husband flushes toilet and water loses pressure and
> turns red hot.
>
> 13. Turn off shower. Squeegy all wet surfaces in shower. Spray all
> potential mould spots with Tilex
>
> 14. Get out of shower. Dry body with a towel the size of a small African
> nation.
>
> 15. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
>
> 16. Check entire body for remotest sign of spots. Attack any offenders
> with finger nails or tweezers.
>
> 17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
>
> 18. If husband is seen, cover any exposed skin, scowl at him and rush of
> to the bedroom to spend the next two hours getting ready.
>
> HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN
>
> 1. Take off clothes and leave in a pile on the floor.
>
> 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If wife is seen, shake willy at her whilst
> shouting "wey - hey"
>
> 3. Look in mirror and suck in beer gut to admire manly physique.
>
> 4. Admire size of manhood in mirror, scratch ballbag and smell fingers for
> one last whiff.
>
> 5. Get in shower, wash face and armpits.
>
> 6. Laugh at how loud farts sound in the bathroom.
>
> 7. Wash ballbag and surrounding area.
>
> 8. Wash arse, leaving hair on soap.
>
> 9. Shampoo hair but do not use conditioner. Make Mohikan hairstyle with
> lather, pull back curtain to check hairstyle in mirror. Laugh loudly then
> fart even louder, laugh again.
>
> 10. Pee in shower.
>
> 11. Rinse off and get out of shower. Take no notice of water on the
> floor. Consider putting the curtain inside the bath next week when you
> shower again.
>
> 12. Dry quickly.
>
> 13. Look in mirror, suck in gut, flex muscles and admire size of manhood.
>
> 14. Leave bathroom light and fan on.
>
> 15. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If wife is seen, rip off
> towel, grab meat and two veg and thrust pelvis at her whilst shouting
> "It's your lucky day - yeah baby"
>
> 16. Put on yesterday's clothes.
>
:laughing:
