Welcome. I read your story and was moved to tears. I'd be more concerned with someone who DIDN'T shed a tear or mourn their beloved animal. I lost a special little Siamese female about 20 years ago and I still think about her and miss her to this day so you are not alone.
You will enjoy the folks here - they are wonderful people.
Oh, Devorah, I can hardly see through the tears to type. I'm so incredibly sorry the loss of your precious babies is what has brought you here. We're so glad you've joined us. Please know we're here for you anytime at all.