So I went to the shelter last night (that is the hardest place on earth to visit I sware!) and I asked if Miss Muffet was still there and the woman said "oh yes- she's going to be here for a longgg time- she is a bit too rambunctious right now" which I thought was odd to say to a perspecive adopter, but I wanted to see her anyway. She was such a little cutie.. extremely extremely playfull. She was very rough with her play, but sweet at times too (licking your fingers) etc.. but it definitely didn't take her long to swat at you through the cage, which she was bouncing all over the place
That didn't deter me though. I mean, she still needs love right? So what if she's overly playfull. However, because she was only four months her price was double all of the other cats (she was $150) because it includes costs for getting her spaid. The woman said that if I waited two more months she would be spaid by then, cheaper and more mellow. I took a deep breath and watched her play some more and I just knew that I wasn't ready yet. It had nothing to do with cheaper, or too rambunctious, but i felt like I just wasnt' ready yet to have another kitty replace my kitty's place on my pillow next to me. I decided to give myself a little bit more time and made a deal with myself that if in a month, miss Muffet is still there, i am going to go bring her home. In the meantime i am going to go full force in my search again for Tek. I had slacked off because I'm grieving but after reading more of Kat Albrechs book, I realize that is a mistake a lot of missing cat owners make. They give up to begin the grieving process, when their kittys are still out there.
Once I came home last night I had big conflicting feelings. I felt releif that I didn't have to feel guilty replacing my baby just yet.. but i also felt such sadness and guilt for leaving miss muffet at the shelter in her cage. It's a no win situation really. I'm still struggling with it. At one second I'm ready to just go grab her.. the next I'm like give it some time.
another thing... Tek's momma, apparently has kittens all the time (don't know WHY the lady doesnt get her fixed, but anyway).. I thought it would be really specicial to get one of those kittens so that it would be at least a relative of Tek. Maybe the features and personality would be similar. Could I get Miss Muffet and another baby kitty or would miss muffett be too rough?
I know I'm all over the place, but these are the thoughts running through my mind in trying to make a decision.