Where do we go from here? (very long)

Let me start by saying how truly sorry I am that you are going through this. I am an optimist, but I am realistic. My now husband, then fiance, and I had a period where all we did was fight, he wasnt happy at his job at the time, and he took out on our relationship. We almost broke up. But, we decided that it was worth trying to figure out what was causing it. Sometimes, it takes just one aspect of your life to make the rest of it miserable. Maybe theres something stressing the realtionship??? We went back to the beginning...doing the things we used to like and didnt have time for. Sometimes, you need the time apart to realize what it is thats causing problems or making you guys unhappy. Maybe the bickering is a sign that you need time apart. Its better to figure it all out BEFORE you get married, then trying to work through it AFTER you are married. Only you know if hes right for you. And the same goes for him. I know you said you talked about it...but maybe the issues still arent resolved. Maybe trying to come to a resolution together, and just take it 1 day at a time. Work through one issue at a time until you guys get it figured out. Obviously, theres something worth fighting for, if you have been together as long as you have. The relationship needs to grow as the two of you grow. Yeah, the past was great. But your a different person now. YOur relationship has to reflect those changes, or you won't be happy.
I hope that everything works out for you. I hope you both can come to an agreement, and put your hurt aside. Love goes on...even when you're gone and apart.
Keep us posted, and you have my prayers and thoughts.

Sweet Ashley....it has been a week now. I've seen you support everyone else going through turbulent waters this week, but how are things with you now?
I thought your thread was so honest and heartbroken, yet with so much hope and growth, I wanted to be nosy and follow up. Maybe I could learn a thing or two.

You two seem to be going through the "engagement jitters", where you ask yourselves if you're ready to make a lifetime commitment, if you've enough experience of life and relationships to settle down, if you can bear each other's families, etc.. That's a natural reaction at this point in your lives. I know couples who met at a very young age (14 - 16), broke up, reunited, and are now celebrating their silver anniversaries. And others who got involved too early, and "woke up" at 30 or 35 and asked themselves what they'd done. There are no guarantees, and every relationship has its ups and downs. Basically, some things are meant to be, and others aren't. And sometimes you meet the right person at the wrong time, or vice-versa. Give yourselves time to think things through. It might not be any consolation, but look at Prince Charles - he met Camilla at the "wrong time", they both had unhappy marriages which ended in divorce, but are very much a couple nowadays. In other words, don't despair. What you're going through right now isn't the least bit unusual.

E!

Thank you and Tricia!

Right now we are just taking this one day at a time, and we both still have hope Brandon has been staying with his parents for a few days until I am done with my work on Saturday (YAY @ no more icky job! LOL) and he is taking his holidays so we will talk, talk, and talk some more then.
Baker hasn't been feeling well, so thats what my mind is on right now. Don't worry though, he will be fine

So that's it for now, we will see, again though we have lots of hope and thats what is getting me through.

As well as all you wonderful people here~ Thanks!

Originally Posted by ash_bct

Well, if you made it this far, thank you for listening.
I have to work up the courage to tell everyone else tomorrow and I know it will be 10 times worse since I will see their faces and I know they all had such high hopes for us.
My heart is exhausted. But my mind is racing. There can't be that many more tears can there?

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Oh Dear Ashley..... what can I say you?....You really touch me I just want to added to this post my really best wishes for you , it`s not easy to say this but, you`re a strong Woman, and I`m so sure God watch this and he gave you the force necesary to you can "turn the page" ABSOLUTELY you`re not bother to nobody with your deep words and If you wanted, my ears at ready to listen to you all time that you want......
Don`t Give it Up!

Futhermore you has Baker, Cola & Tango!!!

I could have sworn I replied the first time I saw this....

Ashley, I can definitely empathize with you. Earl and I completely split up once, got back together, got engaged, broke off the engagement but stayed together, got engaged again, and then finally(!) got married. By the time we actually got married we figured that if we had made it through everything up to that part, we could get through just about anything. Sometimes it's the right person, and just the wrong time to get married. But that doesn't mean it won't work out. Communication is so important to any relationship, and the fact that he is taking his holiday time so you can talk and talk and talk is so telling about his committment to you and your relationship.

Originally Posted by CoolCat

Oh Dear Ashley.....

what can I say you?....You really touch me

I just want to added to this post my really best wishes for you

, it`s not easy to say this but, you`re a strong Woman, and I`m so sure God watch this and he gave you the force necesary to you can "turn the page" ABSOLUTELY you`re not bother to nobody with your deep words and If you wanted, my ears at ready to listen to you all time that you want......

Don`t Give it Up!

Futhermore you has Baker, Cola & Tango!!!

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You know what, Rigel? You are just the coolest! Because if other nations around the world could express themselves in Spanish or Arabic or Farsi or Croation as moving as you have said to Ashley here, we might have world peace.

Originally Posted by sashacat421

You know what, Rigel? You are just the coolest! Because if other nations around the world could express themselves in Spanish or Arabic or Farsi or Croation as moving as you have said to Ashley here, we might have world peace.

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Thank you for your kind Words Eli! , believe me, it`s a just bit hard to express myself but my intentions are totally to help who can I, no matter if it`s only with words, I really try to put my heart in that words AND ABSOLUTELY YES that`s the point Eddie, I consider TCS like my really second HOME

My thoughts with you dear Ashley!

Rigel Elizabeth is right! Our world could use so many more people like you! Thank you for all of your support! It means the world to me! You put your heart into every word you speak no matter if it is to show me your support or just show us pictures of Milky. That makes you so very special and because of that I see how much I am cared for here. THANK YOU

Heidi thank you for sharing your story with Earl. It makes me realize that I am not alone in this
I hope that next week we can sort everything out. I know that he wanted to go away for his holidays and that he is staying here means a lot. Thanks

Ashley you poor darling. The only thing I can say to you is be brave, you have made the right decision. If my ex-husband and I had have been as honest and strong as you have been we would have ended our engagement and not be facing divorce now, seven years later. You have made the absolute right decision FOR THE MOMENT - and in doing so I believe you can salvage what would have been made unsalvageable had you taken it further and not been true to yourselves.

If, as you say, you are still very much in love, then I'm sure you will be able to work it out. The main reason I didn't end my engagement when I knew I should have was because I was ashamed and afraid of what my family and friends would think - so I know exactly what you're going through in that regard. But if they love you, and I'm absolutely sure they all adore you!, then they will understand and be much happier that you are doing the mature and right thing.

Big, big hugs, lots of squeezes and hang right in there. If you want to talk more you can pm me.

I am sorry to hear this, like what other says, you guys are still young, making mistakes. Relationships are like that, there is up and downs. I was to the point that I want to end my relationship cause I am tired of everything. We talked and tried to fix the problem and realize our mistakes. A good communication will help the problem. Hope everything goes well Ash.

Originally Posted by ash_bct

Rigel

Elizabeth is right! Our world could use so many more people like you! Thank you for all of your support! It means the world to me! You put your heart into every word you speak no matter if it is to show me your support or just show us pictures of Milky. That makes you so very special and because of that I see how much I am cared for here. THANK YOU

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Awwwww Dear Ashley, I´m sure, all here in the Forum think equal, that`s why we can " smell " the peace like say Eddie here! hope can I make something more but I repeat you, my ears at your orders to listen to you my thougths with you!

Ashley, I'm in tears. I'm so sorry. You must be in so much pain, and I don't want to imagine what you must be going through. It just feels like life can not possibly go on....

Oh Ash...

I'm here for you, always. PM me if you want to talk.