or Connect
TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › Can you help me understand something?? (sorry, long)
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Can you help me understand something?? (sorry, long)

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 
About 2 months ago, a dear friend of ours died suddenly at the age of 32. The cause of death was initially announced as coronary heart disease which was a big shock as he was athletic, etc.

Then- recently his mother emailed his closest friends and said that he died from alcohol overdose, not heart disease, although his arteries WERE 75% blocked.

His blood alcohol level was .70 in which the coroner said was unusually high. I did some research and learned that .40 is enough to kill you. His mum said that when she went into his apartment, she found two glasses and two bottles - one bottle was empty and one was still full.

Curiously enough, his ex girlfriend (and stalker) was the one who found him. And things she said don't add up like "I didnt want him to die" - curious to those who cared a lot about him like we did. And then all of a sudden she talks about the money that he owed her.

The thing I am struggling with is, how did he drink enough to make it to .70 and not pass out before then??? And if he was drunk enough to pass out at his computer desk, (and die there), how did the glasses end up on the stove? Was he able to walk there and put them there and then pass out at the desk?

I have looked all over the place for answers and I'm not getting any. Which makes this a big struggle for me as we loved him, we loved being around him. If it was the case that someone got him drunk and left him to die, does that make them culpable?

I go through moments when I am really really angry because this ex girlfriend put him through hell - tried to get his friends to hate him, stalked him and then acted like she was so traumatised when he died. At his memorial service, when people first arrived, she was talking on her cellphone and laughing away and then when she saw they had arrived, she went into hysterics - no one could believe it - and now no one wants anything to do with her.

I get angry that his last few months of his life were living hell because of her. I get angry because he was so young. I get angry that he won't be visiting us anymore.

I feel like that I need to find out the truth. But will we ever find out? How on earth does someone drink so much? He wasn't a big drinker to begin with - I know because whenever we drank together, I would drink him under the table, not a proud accomplishment, I know, but still....

Sorry guys for the diatribe but I just needed to get this out..
post #2 of 9
Sorry for the loss. Sux to hear when someone you care about is gone...
However, I don't think anyone can really make you drink more than you can handle. When you have had enough, you have had enough. As a medic, i often get patients who are avid drinkers that, despite having the maximum dose of any drug, simply will not get knocked out. Morphine, demeryl, nothing has any effect. Drinking takes a huge toll on the liver which is where foreign substances and saturated fats are broken down and removed from the system. I'm just saying that may have been natural.
As for that ex-gf, i dunno about her. Sounds to me like she just has nothing better to do with her time.
post #3 of 9
Oh Kellye, I'm so sorry that the truth is not easily explained - lots of hugs for you!
post #4 of 9
I'm so sorry about the loss of your friend. I agree, things don't add up. Unless he was drinking something like pure grain alcohol, or 151 rum, and drinking it quickly and in large amounts, it seems difficult to imagine getting a blood alcohol level that high. Did they test what was in the glasses? Probably not.

Someone probably was there with him, but to prove they knew that his alcohol level was at a dangerous level? I would think that would be very hard to prove.

The ex-girlfriend is truly a piece of work, and is obviously thriving on what she perceives as attention and sympathy. She's better left completely out of your life. While it's galling to have to witness her antics when you've lost a dear friend, please don't waste any more of your energy on her.

If you want to do more, is it possible to talk to his mother, or the detective in charge of his case, and voice your concerns?

Regardless, I'm so sorry you're in such obvious pain. To lose someone close is hard enough, but to lose someone so young, and to be ill at ease with the circumstances must be especially painful. Please take care of yourself!
post #5 of 9
Kellye, I am sorry about your friend's death. I too would be very bothered by the circumstances of his passing. Maybe you should really pursue it with the police and your friend's family.
post #6 of 9
If they can somehow prove that the person with him left him alone with the knowlege that he wasnt doing good then yes they can be held responsible....If this is really getting to you i say talk to the police about your instincts..Instincts are a real remarkable thing. But just so you know if they do decoide to persue this it may mean exuming your friends body, which might put his parents in yet another roller coster ride...But if there is anything to this forensics will be abl to figure it out....I am sorry for your loss....you are such a good friend
post #7 of 9
hmm, what was the empty bottle?
If it was wine he definetely woud not have rose up that high unless someone put some drugs in there.
I think though, talk to his parents and if you both agree then its time to get an autopsy and get tested.
Although i dont know how long his body has been conserved for it might be too late. but its still worth a try!
post #8 of 9
Aw beb I'm so sorry to hear all of this. I know it's tough to lose someone, but I can't imagine what it must be like to know that there's something suspecious going on. I'd be incredibly dubious about this girl's position. She seems like a suspicious character to me. For one, the alarm bells would be ringing the minute she picked up her cellphone. If you're distraught, talking and LAUGHING with someone is the very last thing any sane person would want to do. The glasses on the stove seem to be a bit of a mystery, but it is quite possible that he did put them there, then walked back and passed out. I agree that no-one can make you drink more than you want to - but as has been mentioned, spiked drinks can be incredibly dangerous. I've had a drink spiked with morphine before now and it's not pretty at all. I'd only had one glass of peach schnapps, but I was all over the place, I was incredibly ill for three days - it ruined that new year for me. It makes me mad that people can derive pleasure form such perverted acts. The fact that this girl has said "I never meant for him to die" raises some really nasty questions in my mind - it really does suggest that she's had a hand in it. Now, I'd not want to jump to conclusions, but it has to be said, her actions are highly ominous. God alone knows where you should go from here, but it will come to you, I'm sure. You're strong and I know you'd see it resolved once and for all for the sake of your friend. God bless his soul.
post #9 of 9
While not a Medico, I understand that the body will normally regurgitate alcohol when a dangerous level is reached. Injected alcohol is much more potent than ingested alcohol, taking a much smaller amount to induce coma and death, and it being injected, is impossible for the body to reject, as through regurgitation.

Not looking under the bed for boogers, but insist that the police look in all the unlikely places, beneath fingernails and toenails, inside body orfices, etc for marks of a needle.

I am sorry for your loss and the search for truth is noble and cathartic.

New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: The Cat Lounge
TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › Can you help me understand something?? (sorry, long)