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4 cats, 3 dogs, 2 kids, 1 husband

post #1 of 21
Thread Starter 
Hi, I just signed up, and as you may have guessed, I have a full house. I came here mainly because I am torn between 2 loves, my husband and my cat Blue. Blue and my husband don't see eye to eye, my husband says you are my wife, I love you, do something about your cat peeing on my stuff. Blue says, I hate that guy especially when he shows you affection so I have every right to pee on his stuff. So I came here first to introduce myself, and if you want to know more about these two guys, check it out in a different thread. And if you have anything that can help me, please let me know. I am getting pretty desperate. In all my years, and many kitties, I have never encountered this behavior.
post #2 of 21
Thread Starter 
My cat hates my husband. My husband is starting to hate my cat. Blue (the cat) has taken to peeing on anything belonging to my husband if my husband shows me any form of affection. Rob (the husband) tosses Blue in the bathroom cussing him out the whole time. While this may seem funny, it isn't. Does my cat think I'm his sweetie or something? How do I stop him from peeing on my husbands belongings, side of the bed, xbox, etc...? My husband is now talking about getting rid of him, and my husband is usually very easy going. Please, if you can help me, let me know. In all my years, I have never encountered this behavior in a cat, and I really do not know what to do to stop it. I can't lock the cat up every time I want to cuddle, kiss or be intimate with my husband, but it seems to be the only way to keep my cat from peeing on my husbands stuff.
post #3 of 21
Question: is Blue fixed? I don't mean to indicate all the negative connotations to this, but my reasoning is often males that aren't do exhibit that type of behavior. It's just a little thing. Also, how long have you been married to your husband/lived with him?It might be in relation to a new change? could ou tell us more about how long its been going on, and if perhaps Blue has seen the vet, and if he's doing it on anything in particular that belongs to your husband? if it's soft stuff, like clean laundry, it could indicate a health concern, while if it is stuff like your husband's dirty clothes, it could be territorial. also, have you noticed for sure that blue is peeing in the litterbox as well?
post #4 of 21

Since both of your threads really deal with the same topic, I have merged them.
post #5 of 21
I responded to your other thread, since they're redundant, I'll have you look there rather than reirterate I hope we can help you resolve all this!
post #6 of 21
That is the coolest cat ever! You are really lucky to have found such a loving and jealous kitty. How long have you had Blue?
I wouldn't rule out the health problem but the whole jealousy thing sounds really awesome. Maybe if you husband warms up to Blue, things may get better between them.
post #7 of 21
Before you decide to get rid of Blue, I would urge you to order this book and pay attention to pages 101-103
post #8 of 21
Thread Starter 
My husband and I have been married over 5 years, Blue has been with us for almost 2. My HUSBAND was the one who got Blue for me (adopted him from petsmart already neutered). This behavior has been happening for maybe 5 or 6 months (not to freak anyone out by this so I warn you now) it started when my husband and I got a little...ahem...on the sofa while Blue was sleeping on his kitty tree which is next to the sofa. That is why I think its a personal thing against my husband. Does this answer any questions, and maybe give you a better idea? I really need the input here as how to stop Blue's vendetta against my hubby.
post #9 of 21
Thread Starter 
in reading some replies...
Blue pee'd on my HUSBANDS side of the bed
He pee'd on my husbands work clothes
He pee'd on my husbands dirty clothes
He pee'd on my husbands favorite pillow
Blue sprayed on my husbands towel that was hanging over the side of the tub

Nothing of MINE has been touched. My KIDS stuff is ok too. My HUSBANDS stuff is a free for all!
He has been to the vet, and is healthy other than needing his teeth cleaned. The vet thinks its a territorial thing.
Blue KNOWS what belongs to my husband and when he gets mad at gets pee'd on. My husband is getting really (pardon the pun) pissed!
post #10 of 21
Is he using the litterbox at all? He could have a urinary tract infection or something like that. You probably should take him to the vet to make sure nothing is really wrong with him. Is the pee bloody? I know sometimes it is hard to tell if it soaks into something dark but try to find out and let the vet know.

How many litterboxes do you have? With 4 cats you should have 5 litterboxes at least. Maybe you have let them get dirtier lately and the cat doesn't like that?
post #11 of 21
Ok we must have been posting at the same time there.

Tell us about the litterboxes though. How many do you have? Should have 5.
post #12 of 21
Thread Starter 
2 cats have chosen to spend most of their time outdoors. They come and go, but mostly go. Blue lives inside with our 5 month old confused cat/dog Mauee (she purrs like a cat, plays fetch like a dog) we have had her 2 and 1/2 months. The attack on my husbands personal stuff began a few months before Mauee joined the clan, and as i stated, it is ONLY and quite EXCLUSIVELY my husbands stuff. Blue uses the box (we have one in each room, two in the laundry room so that makes 7 boxes. He was checked out 2 weeks ago by the vet and was good to go. I swear this is personal!!!!
post #13 of 21
I just wanted to tell you that I have a very jealous cat, too. Anytime I came home smelling of "man" (to clarify, anytime I even hugged a guy, or hung out in their place and picked up their scent from their furniture, or even just rode in their car) Merlin would refuse to come near me for four days. I hate to say it, but I picked my cat over the guys, and I haven't been on a date since August.

The only thing I can think that might help is to make sure your cat knows you are in charge and that your husband comes before him. Instead of your husband being the one to pick the cat up and move him, you do it. In fact, if you have a perfume you always wear, spray it on whatever your cat has a tendancy to pee on. (You're now claiming that your husbands possession are your own.) Have your husband feed the cats. (He who controls food has the power). Think of it from a cat's point of view - spraying is marking territory and claiming things as their own. Your cat is telling your husband that it's his house, his stuff, and that you're his, too. You have to find a way for your husband to say "Nuh-uh, MY house, MY stuff, and MY wife", only in cat terms.
post #14 of 21
Anti-anxiety drugs. I know many people do not like the idea of drugging thier animals but if this is behavioural, then drugs might help and it is better than a shelter or euthanasia. Their are other things to try, have your husband spend time with Blue, feed him, play with him... Whatever he does, your hubby should not get mad at the cat- it will only make things worse. Making as many of Hubby's possesions inaccessable to Blue will stop "accidents". Put all of Hubby's things in closets, drawers... close bathroom and bedroom doors... The longer Blue goes without an episode the better.
If it were me I would start blue on drugs, then do all of the above and start a behaviour modification program. The drugs will sedate him at first but in a couple of weeks he should return to normal (except he may like your husband more )
Dr. Karen Overall has written a great book on behaviour for vets- the title escapes me at the moment. It has lots of case studies and very specific programs for behaviour modification. For it to work both you and your husband need to be on board with the plan.
Good Luck!
and oh yeah- no more getting busy in front of kitty!
post #15 of 21
The members of this site can give you some wonderful suggestions. My suggestion, though, is trying Feliway or the Feliway Comfort Zone diffuser. I used to have a problem with my cat peeting on my bed until I put the Comfort Zone diffuser in my bedroom. Here's a link to more information on Feliway. Good luck and keep us posted!
post #16 of 21
I would agree that it is a territorial thing. Blue sounds like he is at the age of social maturity( between 2 to 4 years old) and sometimes a male cat will begin to exhibit territorialism or dominance. Blue is trying to say he is the alpha cat in the household, and that you 'belong' to him. Your husband's behaviour to Blue is also antagonistic and the cat responds to that. In a sense, they are both competing to be 'top cat'. Blue is marking 'his' territory by trying to mark over top of your husband's territory. Cats are very focused on 'smell' and identify the boundaries of their territory by smell. I don't know if you can get enough of your scent onto your husbands belongings to counteract it or not - nor if you husband would be willing for you to do so:-).

I do think part of the solution is to arrange for more interaction between your husband and Blue. Let him be the one to feed Blue and to brush him - things that an alpha cat would do. Have your husband play with Blue interactively as well.He should definitely not act aggressive towards the cat by tossing him into the bathroom and such as the cat will see this as a way of getting in the way of 'you' and it will reinforce the cat's 'jealousy' or sense of competition with your husband.

The book Hissy suggested also sounds very useful. I have found her suggestions well worth considering and have ordered in books she has listed myself and found them useful.

Good luck:-).

post #17 of 21
welcome! try some feliway my friend used it when her guy started spraying and it worked like magic. Best of luck!
post #18 of 21
Hi & welcome to TCS!!!!
post #19 of 21
The same thing happened to a friend of mine but she had the cat before the husband. This cat was a female and would pee on anything belonging to her husband. The husband made a vow to win her over and went out of his way giving her treats, playing with her and loving on her. She turned around and became "his" cat. Took a few months of concerted effort on his part. When she finally crossed last year, he cried harder than his wife - the bond went both ways.

Sorry I have no other advise for you.
post #20 of 21
Again I would advise you to buy Wendy's book. I could quote from it, but it is to long to go into. What I will say is that when a cat pees on soft items they are usually stressed out. They generally pick an item with a scent that calms them- (your husband's) and the combination of their urine on this familiar scent calms them. I would guess that it isn't your husband Blue is mad at, it is the inclusion of another cat in your home that set off Blue's stress trigger. Wendy goes into great lengths of how to deal with this effectively in her book, and again- I am not making any money here by endorsing this book, but when an exceptional cat book comes to my attention, I will let anyone and everyone know about it as quickly as possible, especially if it means it might save a feline's life-
post #21 of 21
Best of luck with this situation!
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