divorce

Oh gosh Kev, I'm so sorry. You will be in my thoughts at your most vumerable time... Any woman would be lucky to have a guy like you, what is wrong with her? is she goofy??? I'm sorry that was out of line. But I just don't get it, you seem like a fantastic person. Like a guy that every woman dreams of.

Please, please, take care of yourself, and be stong. We are all here for you, in your time of need. Please don't ever forget that.

Originally Posted by mrsd

Why the sudden change? Sounds too weird.

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I don't know if Kev can even answer that. But like I said before, I am also as surprised.
Kev, I am sorry.

Kev, I am so sorry to hear about this. I wish I could say something wise and comforting, but I just don't have the words. Like other members here have already said, you always have our support.

((hugs))
I am sorry to hear you are so hurt...I shouldn't be talking because I just recently filed for divorce and it was final 9-15-05, like alot of people say..things happen for a reason, and I just hope you can find some happiness you need...we are all here for you though for support!

Kev, as another guy who is going through a divorce, I can only tell you this:
SOLIDER STAND UP, BE STRONG AND MOVE FORWARD!
Does it hurt? Yep.
Is it going to get worse? Probably.
Will it ever end? Eventually.
Will you ever really understand why she's doing this? Probably not.

Having said all that, it's fair to say that if you let your Wife call the shots, chances are you'll end up worse off than you would have if you hadn't protected yourself.
Don't trust her because she's acting and will only act in her own self interest, you'll be just another casulity.

Kevin I ache for you. I've been through a divorce and it's not easy. After 8 years I met the love of my life and have been with him now 28 years. There is life after love. It seems to me (and I could be horribly wrong) that your wife has been planning this for awhile. Nobody just up and does something like that especially to a decent fellow like you.

She has either been less than truthful to you or has already set her sights on someone else. That may hurt, but that's what it sounds like to me.

I agree with the others - get yourself a good lawyer and do not allow her to take advantage of you. Split equally is fine - but don't get the short straw. When my first husband and I split, I had no idea how much money we had in the bank or anything - he pretty much got everything because I was so naive.

Please also take care of yourself for you and your son. Be firm and insist on fairness.

My best wishes and thoughts and prayers go out to you. You are too nice a man to be taken advantage of and as time passes you will find there is a woman out there who will appreciate you for your wonderful qualities.

So Sorry to hear you have to go through this.


She sounds like she just isn't who you thought she was.
Divorce brings out a completely new side of people.

You've got a lotta support here with your friends!!
Hang in there and take it 1 day at a time.

Kev,
I can't say anymore that has not already been said. Just remember all your friends here at TCs are here for support. Take car of yourself.

I'm so sorry kevin You have been through so much lately and now this.. I will pray that you have the strength to get through this and just know that god's love will guide you to the right path no matter where it may be.

I am sorry that you have to go through this. Sometimes, people dont want to try. Obviously, your wife feels that way. I would say, maybe suggest counseling because it sounds to me like there are communication issues. But, maybe its too late for that. I think the best thing you can do now, is find out your rights, contact a lawyer, and protect yourself. Maybe get yourself into some counseling of your own to help you deal with the grief of a dissolving marriage. And also how to help you help your child through it all. Divorce isnt easy. But neither is staying in a marriage that isnt working anymore.
Just remember that we are all here to listen and help you through it. Please be strong. Dont let her ruin your self esteem. Or your relationship with everyone else.

Oh Kev,
All I can say is that from what Ive known of you throught TCS, you are a truly beautiful person, do not allow yourself to forget that or anyone to take that away from you. We all know how much you love Carol. I am so sorry for your troubles. She says irreconcilable diffs?? It seems like you are the only one trying to reconcile anything! But alas, no matter how unfair, you can not change someone's mind for them. DO not blame yourself for the impending divorce. Do not. You know that to make a marriage work it takes both partners, and it seems like you were trying. It sounds as though she is just really wanting to move on. I am so sorry. You are awesome, be strong for your son. This will be a very hard time for him, as it is for you. He will be even more confused. Chin up.

Oh Kev, I am sorry. I do second the suggestion made elsewhere in this thread that you get yourself to a counselor. Every person I know who has gone through a divorce has said that going to counseling made all the difference in their recovery. I know it is hard to imagine a time when you don't feel this miserable, but I promise that if you allow yourself to heal, you gradually will. I am thinking of you my friend, and saying prayers for you.

Kev, I am so sorry to hear about this. I want to add my voice to the group saying get yourself a good lawyer. It sounds like this has been in Carol's mind for a while. You need to do what is best for YOU, not what is best for her.

In the meantime, you have plenty of people here on TCS that care for you.

Hi Kev,

Sorry to hear about your marrital problems Its not an easy thing to go thru, but I know you will get thru this like a trooper Yes, it is hard ... very hard, but each day will get a teensey bit better. I applaud you for trying to reconcile.. I agree with the counseling .. it does help! Feel free to pm me ..

well today I got my first letter from Carol's solicitor and it all reads okay. In fact its nothing like I expected really and is very amicable expressing regret that the marriage has failed and confirming the effects that I would like from the house - there is no bitterness between us and I have no intention of there being, for Carol, for our son and for my health.
I know you are all there for me, however, right now I feel so alone its incredible out here. I do appreciate all your kind words and sorry I dont respond. This is incredibly harder than I ever thought and I honestly dont think I will find someone to love again or have a relationship with.
Have wept buckets in the office and yet, I can see now that its been coming over the years and can accept that.
Am having the worst day possible - please someone tell me that it does get easier.
Kev
Who will never hate Carol at all - just upset at the way things worked out

Kev,
It takes time, but IT DOES GET EASIER, HON! Please know that. You are still in my prayers.

Kev,

do you remember the times when I had to stand up from my own breakup and eventually accept the abortion? You told me it will get better.. and it did... it takes time and time eventually will heal all wounds.. I may not have experienced a divorce but I truly believe that as long as you do not give up and sink into depression, you will feel better... one day at a time.. the healing process is slow and painful as you live each day but it does get better along the way...have faith...

'Lurking' on this site I have followed this sad thread - and another earlier one by Kev - and I had to wonder why someone would go into extreme details about his actions,weeping and devastations with a wide audience, with some thought that he perhaps had a personal need for attention and sympathy. His last posts appear to show a more stable outlook and I wish him well. There are two sides to every situation and we only have one, but certainly consultations with a counsellor and a lawyer would benefit him considerably

Originally Posted by AlphaBeta

'Lurking' on this site I have followed this sad thread - and another earlier one by Kev - and I had to wonder why someone would go into extreme details about his actions,weeping and devastations with a wide audience, with some thought that he perhaps had a personal need for attention and sympathy. His last posts appear to show a more stable outlook and I wish him well. There are two sides to every situation and we only have one, but certainly consultations with a counsellor and a lawyer would benefit him considerably

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You certianly aren't being helpful. Kev has friends here that care about him!

Hi folks! I'm Kevin's father and I'm probably going to get a rocket from him from butting into this site and thread but....

At this time he has no access to his primary Email a/c and I've been clearing it daily for him - in the course of which I've noted incoming message alerts from this Forum and, being nosey by nature, peeked in to see what it was all about.

As you'll have gathered, he's going through a rough period, which he WILL come out of eventually even though such is hard for him to believe at this time, and I would just like to state publicly that I'm grateful for all the support that you caring people have been giving him of late. I'm 3,500 miles away and I'm all too well aware that 'phone and email support isn't the same as being near ... and I'm sure that all your messages have been of considerable help and encouragement to him. Thank you, all ...

He's gonna chew me out now, for sure .... but hey! I'm a catlover, I have two (one of which is giving us grave concern right now) so I feel I have a right to be here, too! So ... thrrrrppp to you, son!