Christina! Best of luck to you! and don't worry too much about basic training. If you take it all in the right spirit it's actually a lot of fun! I was scared when I went out to basic training and eneded up crying when it was all over and I had to say goodbye to all the wonderful friends I had made there.
Blue, I used to be a pacifict as a teenager. I used to say that nothing justifies joining in the military and put it off as long as I could. Military service is compulsory in Israel so after I graduated university I had to join anyway. As someone with academic education I was sent off directly to officers course (we did the basic training earlier, in between semesters). I dropped out as soon as I could (3 days), as I didn't want to be in the military in the first place, let alone an officer.
Then I was posted in the Planning Branch. The time was September 1993. What a shock! Everyone around me was doing one thing only - working on the peace agreements with the Palestinians! I never imagined I could get so close to actual real peace making! All around me were senior officers that were doing all they could to bring peace. My image of military people was totally wrong! These were the most peace seeking people you'd find anywhere. I remember having a talk with one of the senior colonels days after I arrives and telling him how surprised I was to see that. He explained to me that when you see first-hand how horrible war is you realize how good peace is and you seize any chance to get it. He said that was the reson was military people were more level headed and peace seeking then the average civilian.
My point is, you don't have to be blood thirsty or violent to be in the military. Quite the opposite is usually true. I'm not out here to justify every military act on this planet - far from it. I'm just saying that to defend your country you don't have to be a violent person.
Everyone has something they'd be willing to kill for. I believe you would to under some circumstances. I had a pacifict as a guide in my youth movement. I remember him telling us pretty much what you said or quoted in your post - that there's no point in fighting "eye for an eye". He used to say that he wouldn't fight for anything because nothing is worth killing another human being. Even if his property or his own life were taken. Later on he became a father and was totally crazy about his new baby boy. We then asked him if he wouldn't fight someone who came to hurt his baby. Well... guess what he said
I am definitely not a violent person, but if someone was to hurt my cats or my baby... By the same token, if someone threatens my existence here in Israel I can make the analogy and see why we have to fight them.
Is anyone still awake?
By the way, I enjoyed my military service so much, I signed up for more and I did go on to become an officer too
I don't regret a minute of it! I worked with wonderful people and learned a lot about the world and about myself.