The loss of my first cat

I never knew I was a cat person until someone dumped three kittens in my parents yard about 6 years ago. They were about 3 months old and so adorable. We found homes for two of them and kept the third. We named it K.C. for Kitty Cat. I know!! Not very original but at first we thought they were all girls and as it turned out K.C. was very definitely a boy!! So the generic name was a plus. He was the best cat I could ever ask for. He slept on our bed with us, loved to sit on laps and loved to play. The thing that bothers me the most is my own stupidity is the reason he is no longer with us. We took him to the vet and got all his shots and got him fixed. When the vet asked me if I wanted the leukemia shot, he told me it was optional. It cost about $45 for the test before they could give him the shot. I was not even aware that feline leukemia was a contagious disease...I was naive I guess. But I didn't have the money so I passed. We moved clear across the country from Washington to New York where we have purchased 20 acres. After the initial shock of the new home K.C. was very happy with all the room he had to roam. Three years ago he got sick with an upper respitory infection. I took him to the vet and he seemed to get better for alittle while and then got sick again. Several vet visits later he was very sick. Unable to get himself into the litter box he would stand next to it and go on the floor. We were still giving him pills..and he was so weak. It would bring tears to my eyes every time I saw him. He spiked a fever of 106 and we had to hospitalize him. They had three different antibiotics and IV's to keep his fluids up. They tested him for leukemia and he was positive. They said if they could break the fever he could possibly live a few more years. But on the fourth day his fever had gone up and they recommended we put him down. I couldn't stand to see him suffer so I agreed. When I got there to sign the papers they asked me if I wanted to go back with him when they did it. All I could do was bawl. I didn't want to see him like that. I wanted the good memories to be the strongest in my mind. So I didn't go back and I regret not saying goodbye to him. We brought him home and buried him near the rock he used to sun himself on. And we still talk of him often. I miss him!!