Do you think its bad?

i know im bad... but ...
i just had to....
I went and looked into my dads email account and saw he has alot of emails from my cousin.
He is giving her the job instead of me.
He gave her presents and he didnt get me anything.
She is alot older than me and has finished university, she has the same name as i do. But why is he so obessed with her?
I cant believe he would even try to compare me to her.
I just feel sad
Because i was born to my mother and he just hates me?

THings happen for a reason. Something good is instore for you later on in life so don't worry.

I never had a dad growning up. When I finally get a dad I dont want him. Im so use to my mom I never wanted to share her with anyone.

Have you asked him why he is givn her more attintion. Maybe he don't know it's upsetting you. Just ask him. It won't hurt to try.


Ashley

Fran, honey! You shouldn't have peeked but you did and thats over now Naughty! Hehe

But now you know what has been going on and you weren't supposed to know. Your Dad doesn't hate you! Your Mom has had problems for a long time and none of that was your fault! He knows that~

Talk to him, don't accuse, cry, anything like that, just talk. Ask his reasons for the way he treats your cousin and not you. You will more than likely find that he has a valid reason, even if that he doesn't realize it is upsetting you.
If not, you may have to decide that this is the time to move on. I'm going to talk to you about this on IM because I don't want to here, a bit personal... Look for me when you are on again and we will talk ok?

Love ya!
Ash

oh Fran... naughty, naughty. I'll say no more, it's not our place to scold you - the point is, you know it was wrong - and what's done is done. I would do as has been suggested here. I did the same with my father a little while ago because he was treating his step-daughter better than he's treated me in pretty much all my life. I had to tell him that when he moved away on my birthday, it really took the biscuit. He'd moved on my birthday and missed his son's - so that he could be in Teford in time for Nadia's birthday. He missed both his own kids, for as far as we're concerned, a complete stranger. Needless to say, neither of us are/were happy about it, my brother just put it down to him being a weak man - as he has been all the time he was with his family. I stood up to him and I let him know how much he'd hurt me. He did apologise and he did tell me that he didn't realise (but that wouldn't have taken a genius to work out that it was pretty awful for him to do) but unfortunately, my father being who he is, it didn't make the blindest bit of difference. I've given him chance after chance after chance to make up to me for all the horrible things he's done - or let happen - and he never has. But that needn't be the case with your father. Let him know you're hurt, ask him why he does it and perhaps it'll open his eyes. My father didn't learn and now he's reaping the rewards for it. I never feel the urge to phone and talk to him, because I've never got anything to say to him. Because he never shared the any of the things we could have done when we were kids, my brother and I just haven't anything to say to the man at all. We have no holidays in foreign countries to reminisce - because he refused to go anywhere but back to his mummy. We don't have common interests, because he ignored all of the talents that David and I share and didn't take any interest in things we wanted to show him. He didn't talk to me fro three months when I found out I was pregnant - when I needed him most he wasn't there. He stood by and watched - he LET his own sister verbally rip me to shreds one night for no reason when I was 8 months pregnant - which didn't do anything for my blood pressure and hurt me more than I could ever say. And it was all because he was scared of what people would think of HIM at work. Weak man. From what I can understand though, your dad is a lot stronger than that. Think about all the things you've had to go through as a family... years of that can take their toll on a person, and I'm sure that if you raise it with him and just talk it through, he'll see what's going wrong and he'll make more of an effort.

I can guaruntee you though that he doesn't hate you. No parent will ever hate their child sweetie. It's just that he's not doing too well at showing that he loves you. Give him the chance to explain and see what happens. And you know where I am if you need me. Things'll always turn out for the best in the end though, just you wait and see.

Fwan!!!!!

Working with family can be a minus sometimes?!.

I work for a family business, and sometimes if Vicky(The daughter) doesn't do what her dad has told her to do, naturally he gives her a bit of a lecture because when he asks for something done he wants it done NOW!.

This can cause Vicky to get upset, not crying but she goes quiet.

So maybe it's a good thing that it's not you afterall

I'm not going to scold you, Fwan, I'm just going to give you a big hug. I know how painful it can be to feel that you're not living up to your Dad's expectations or that you have to be a certain way and achieve certain things in order to recieve his love. I'm sure your Dad loves you very much, but your feelings are hurt right now.

Originally Posted by fwan

Because i was born to my mother and he just hates me?

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He's your stepdad?

IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY!!!
I only went to look in his email to see if he had been writing to another woman.
because sometimes he comes on msn and says "hello cindy how are you"
But my cousin has been writing him more emails than me!
I dont know.. he has favoured her since she was little.
He promised her that he would give her 2,000 Euros for passing university..
and the thing is none of his family give me anything!
He put me in this situation that im not able to go to univerisity.
From Bf's point of view, the family he has here is dead so is trying to make up for it to be special to his own family in sicily.
I mean he rathers give her money monthly than me.
he doesnt even want to pay me while im studying.
She just looks like her mum and i look more like my mum.

anyway he opens all of my mail that he receives and who gave him the permissoin for that?

Originally Posted by yayi

He's your stepdad?

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No he is my real dad, but he wanted my mum to abort me when she was pregnant

Thats a punch below the belt telling you that Fwan?!

Fwan, honey, I can't even begin to guess how painful that is. Good grief I'd hate for anyone to reveal that information to me. I can only guess at the emotions you'd feel form someone saying that you should never have been born in the first place. That is cruel and heartless and infinitely insensitive. I can't believe that someone could be so cold. The point is though, regardless of who your father is and what he tried to get your mother to do, your mum wanted you and loves you and she had the courage to stand up for that. I know things aren't great for either of your parents, so that must make it extra tough. I know how it feels when your own father would rather spend money and time with another person - he treats this Nadia character better than he treated me - and I learned to shove him aside I'm afraid, through self-defense. It was either that or fall apart. But hey, stuff the world, when I move out to Copenhagen, you can guaruntee that I'll be coming to see you at some point! I could quite happily adopt you as a little sister (Heaven's knows, I always wanted a little sister - or a rabbit. And I got a rabbit... my brother never shuts up!) Keep on going though beb, you've made it this far. I understand why you're so angry and I understand that you're really hurt. I would be too. But I honestly don't think he doesn't love you. It's entirely possible that he's got a lot of resentment built up inside for your mother, and you happen to be an outlet for it - which isn't fair and he's got to realise that. If he resented your mother, he'll not have bonded that well with you either. It's funny the way psychology works and ultimately, life isn't fair either. Keep your chin up though, I'll look out for you

susan lol.. I cant get along with him maybe this is why? :S
I wish my mum had stayed in england and brought me up.
Id be so successful now

Here is a father's point of view:

My 2 children have never given me anything but heartache. My daughter came to me when she was 13 and told me of an affair she was having with a man over 40, and from what I hear, will still entertain any man with a bottle. My son will take any pill, sniff any liquid, smoke anything that he thinks will take him from the reality of life. He is 45 years old and has had a total of less than 18 months of employment in his entire life, sponging off others for his livelihood, and if I let him, would bleed me dry and sell the husk.
Their mother didn't try to discipline them (I have a strong suspicion she set up the affair for my daughter) and I finally divorced her after 23 years of frustration. I am in my second marriage now, have a wife who has the same goals as I do, a "stepdaughter" who is just a few notches below the CEO of HP who recently resigned, and my children are very jealous of my new life, even if I have been married to my present wife for over 25 years. There comes a time when the pain causes whatever love there was to fly out the window, and if I ever were to shed a tear, it would be for what should have been, not what was.

Leonard

Fwan never say never!, your still young so you can still follow your dream.

Originally Posted by winwin

Here is a father's point of view:

My 2 children have never given me anything but heartache. My daughter came to me when she was 13 and told me of an affair she was having with a man over 40, and from what I hear, will still entertain any man with a bottle. My son will take any pill, sniff any liquid, smoke anything that he thinks will take him from the reality of life. He is 45 years old and has had a total of less than 18 months of employment in his entire life, sponging off others for his livelihood, and if I let him, would bleed me dry and sell the husk.
Their mother didn't try to discipline them (I have a strong suspicion she set up the affair for my daughter) and I finally divorced her after 23 years of frustration. I am in my second marriage now, have a wife who has the same goals as I do, a "stepdaughter" who is just a few notches below the CEO of HP who recently resigned, and my children are very jealous of my new life, even if I have been married to my present wife for over 25 years. There comes a time when the pain causes whatever love there was to fly out the window, and if I ever were to shed a tear, it would be for what should have been, not what was.

Leonard

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I have never done any drugs except for trying alcohol and smoking.
I'm not a smoker and im not an alcoholic.
My mother is though.
I never put my dad through heart ache. except in the past 2 months that i have moved out.
My dad was never there for me emotionally. When ever i cried he used to walk away.
He has abused my mother and he has also abused me once very very badly
I'm not jealous that he gives her these things. But i just dont understand why he doesnt respect me or be happy for me for anything.

Hey Fwan, I'm so sorry that your feelings are hurt! My dad completely pushed me out of his life in favor of his new stepkids when I was younger. I know your situation isn't quite that bad but I know you're hurting a lot. I don't think men really think about how their actions affect others. I don't have any wise advice about how to deal with it. I just want you to know that I know how you're feeling and it sucks. I hope things improve for you. You're a sweet, smart, funny girl and he's a jerk for making you feel bad. Hang in there, if you need to talk or just rant, we're here!

Originally Posted by fwan

No he is my real dad, but he wanted my mum to abort me when she was pregnant

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Oh Fwan, that's awful Honey.........

Fwan, I don't have any advice except to say be strong, only you can really make your life what it is, not your Dad, not your Mom, not anybody. We all have to overcome horrible things, sometimes it seems worse than at other times. But be yourself, set your own goals and life will come to you. Good luck.

yeah... exactly that! Like I said in my last post... I'll look out for you