oh Fran... naughty, naughty. I'll say no more, it's not our place to scold you - the point is, you know it was wrong - and what's done is done. I would do as has been suggested here. I did the same with my father a little while ago because he was treating his step-daughter better than he's treated me in pretty much all my life. I had to tell him that when he moved away on my birthday, it really took the biscuit. He'd moved on my birthday and missed his son's - so that he could be in Teford in time for Nadia's birthday. He missed both his own kids, for as far as we're concerned, a complete stranger. Needless to say, neither of us are/were happy about it, my brother just put it down to him being a weak man - as he has been all the time he was with his family. I stood up to him and I let him know how much he'd hurt me. He did apologise and he did tell me that he didn't realise (but that wouldn't have taken a genius to work out that it was pretty awful for him to do) but unfortunately, my father being who he is, it didn't make the blindest bit of difference. I've given him chance after chance after chance to make up to me for all the horrible things he's done - or let happen - and he never has. But that needn't be the case with your father. Let him know you're hurt, ask him why he does it and perhaps it'll open his eyes. My father didn't learn and now he's reaping the rewards for it. I never feel the urge to phone and talk to him, because I've never got anything to say to him. Because he never shared the any of the things we could have done when we were kids, my brother and I just haven't anything to say to the man at all. We have no holidays in foreign countries to reminisce - because he refused to go anywhere but back to his mummy. We don't have common interests, because he ignored all of the talents that David and I share and didn't take any interest in things we wanted to show him. He didn't talk to me fro three months when I found out I was pregnant - when I needed him most he wasn't there. He stood by and watched - he LET his own sister verbally rip me to shreds one night for no reason when I was 8 months pregnant - which didn't do anything for my blood pressure and hurt me more than I could ever say. And it was all because he was scared of what people would think of HIM at work. Weak man. From what I can understand though, your dad is a lot stronger than that. Think about all the things you've had to go through as a family... years of that can take their toll on a person, and I'm sure that if you raise it with him and just talk it through, he'll see what's going wrong and he'll make more of an effort.
I can guaruntee you though that he doesn't hate you. No parent will ever hate their child sweetie. It's just that he's not doing too well at showing that he loves you. Give him the chance to explain and see what happens. And you know where I am if you need me.
Things'll always turn out for the best in the end though, just you wait and see.