a few vibes would be appreciated

Last night Carol told me that she no longer feels the same toward me and would like a sort of trail break up and some time away from me. Apparently things have been bad for a number of years according to the long discussions that Carol and I have had over the last 24 hours. Carol is very very unhappy and would like a period of time apart.
So far, am just hanging on in the same house, have been shopping together and things are far from good I am afraid. Carol seems to have fallen out of love with me. I find Christopher very hard work and due to this, this has become over 50% of the problem or I have.
Apparently things like the way I speak to her, way I am, I run away from an arguement of we had one etc etc have all become too much and she wishes that things ended a long long time ago.
She wants away from me and talk about being devastated - thats an understatement. We look as though we may be heading towards a divorce.
Any advice as I dont want it to end at all with my wife and son at all. Would give them both my last breath and am devastated.
Any ideas that would help me say the right things would be appreciated as I am all cried out.
Kev
Fighting to suddenly save what he thought was a great marriage

K

Oh Kevin! I don't know what to say, from your posts I've always thought that you and Carol sounded perfect together! I'll keep you all in my thoughts.

I am so sorry Kev! I thought the same thing as Sam... from all of your posts it has always sounded as you and Carol were very happy. I know you adore her, the post that comes to mind is the one where you took her shopping for a dress. I wish you both the best of luck in making this work out.

O Kev, that is such sad news. You are in my prayers. Advice? Pray. Will Carol consider counseling?

Oh my, I'm so sorry for you. I know that it came as a complete shock to you as I've read some of your posts and you speak so highly of Carol. I know that you are 100% in love with your wife and I do hope that things work out.

You asked for advice so this is what I can offer from a woman's point of view: 1) give her the room she has asked for but let her know that you are still in love with her 2) ask her to go to counsleing with you after an agreed upon time of separation 3) write all of your feeling towards her down in a letter along with any appologies you may have - sometimes it's easier to write it down when you are alone than trying to explain them in person.

I will keep you in my thoughts.........I do hope everything works out.

Hi Kev,

Sorry to hear this about you I wish I could offer you advice, but I cant because of marraige that is ending. It sounds like what your wife told you, is extremely similar to what my husband toldme. All I can say is that talking about it to people will help out tremendously. I've been going to counsling (3 times now), and it helps me when I get it out. Hopefully things will work out the best for you and your wife!

Oh kev, I am so sorry - I would suggest marriage counseling as well - need to find out why Carol is feeling this way. You all are in my thoughts.

Kevin, just keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers, and agree with those advising counseling.

Originally Posted by catherine

You asked for advice so this is what I can offer from a woman's point of view: 1) give her the room she has asked for but let her know that you are still in love with her 2) ask her to go to counsleing with you after an agreed upon time of separation 3) write all of your feeling towards her down in a letter along with any appologies you may have - sometimes it's easier to write it down when you are alone than trying to explain them in person.

I will keep you in my thoughts.........I do hope everything works out.

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Oh I am so sorry... what horrible news. I agree with everyone else - see if you guys can try counseling. Regarding Catherine's advise of giving her room... maybe. Don't give too much space though, I think that can only lead to more bad things, her getting used to not having your around and so on.

Best of luck... I hope you two manage to work it out!

Oh this is so awful for you after all that you have been through recently. I so hope you can work it out in some way. Sometimes after a bad period people feel washed out and burnt up, and need time to recuperate. Just keep all the doors open and pray hard.

I've been where Carol is right now 6 years ago, and although my husband wanted me to try and work things out i didn't.

You can try and put things like counselling etc.. to her to see if she will give it a try, but at the end of the day she can't be forced into it because she'll only dig her heels in deeper.

I'm of the same opinion when it comes to giving a partner some space because thats what i wanted with my ex boyfriend and it finished us!.

Kevin, my heart aches for you. I have no advice other than what the others have already said. I agree - try counselling if you can both agree to go.

I sincerely hope things will work out for you both.

No advice here, Kev, but a lot of sympathy. I can understand that you must be devastated right now. that you can work things out.

Kev, my friend, I'm so sorry to see this today. I don't have any advice to give you that you haven't already been given here. But I will tell you that you and Carol are in my thoughts and prayers. If you want to talk about it, drop me a PM and tell me a time to sign onto MSN, I'll be glad to lend a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. {{HUGS}} to you buddy!

kev im so sorry to hear of you and carol, im like the rest on here, totally shocked to be reading this, from what i read you both seemed rock solid, i dont have any advice, but hoping you can both wotk this out

Kev, I am very sorry

I hope you and Carol can work this out, councelling seems the best way to go now if she will agree.

Lots of thoughts and prayers for you both as well as Christopher~

Kev, I'm so sorry to hear this. Like the others, I would have said you two were rock solid. You've been living through every brand of hell the last while, though, so no wonder you didn't see it coming. I can't offer any better advice than you've already been given -- do try counselling if you can -- sometimes that neutral third party can make all the difference in sorting out the problems.

Whatever you do though, please be gentle with yourself, and remember that your friends are thinking of you. I'll be praying that you find a way to work this out.

Originally Posted by WellingtonCats

Oh Kevin! I don't know what to say, from your posts I've always thought that you and Carol sounded perfect together! I'll keep you all in my thoughts.

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Same here!
This comes as a shock to me...