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Neglectful parents......

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
I worked at a JCPenney,,and for those of you who work around people, youve probably been witness to quite a many neglectful parent stories. We found this little hispanic girl lost in the store,,thankfully I know enough spanish to communcate with a three year old. She couldnt find her mom or her sister,,we issued an alert in out store and in all of the mall. They couldnt be found anywhere. The little girl,Graciela, just hung out with me for like and hour while people were frantically searching for her mom and sis. AN HOUR!!!!!! She was the sweetest little thing,,trying to help me bag clothing and fold and ect. Like I said she was with me for an hr. FINALLY, her sister, who looked to be about 14 yrs, came up and got her. She was laughing and thought it was funny and explained that her and her mother got ALL THE WAY HOME without Graciela. I was dumbfounded. How could you forget such a young child, but not just that,,,but to get ALL THE WAY home with out her and not realize she isnt in the car. I was so furious and wanted to tell her mother a little something!! This kind of behavior drives me crazy...I figured some of you other public workers have seen this kind of thing before,,,I'd love to hear your stories.
post #2 of 12
Jeepers! mine doesn't even come close to that but I've had my share of stupid parents let me tell you. one time my co worker brought his two kids to work because he had to work and his wife was already working so he didn't want to leave them alone. Well there they sat, waiting on mom to punch out, meanwhile, one of them decides to start PUNCHING the other one, while the parents are in the backroom talking! I walked into the backroom and told them that their daughters were fistfighting in the dinningroom and they acted like I was meddling in their affairs, but finally went out and stopped it before it got further out of hand.
Another of my coworkers let his kids stand up on our condiment stand and wreak havoc in the dinningroom while he was eating! I wanted to smack him in the head and drag his kids outside, chain them to the post and tell them,"now you are going to sit here until your parents are done eating!" But I didn't. Horrible children my coworkers have, but I don't feel sorry for them at all. they dont' discipline them so that's their problem. I feel sorry for the people that have to deal with them outside the home, teachers, store operators, etc, because the parents actually get mad if someone tells them their kids are being obnoxious brats.(in a nice way of course)
post #3 of 12
That is completely awfulll...Parents to be should be givin psyche tests, and take courses on parenting....I swear to go licenses should be issues...But i am sure that would break some amendment........But what these parents do...It is sooo sad, and disgusting........
I was working at Staples a couple of years ago and well this georgeous faced girl about 4 years old came crying up to the customer service desk where i was..In between sobs i decerned that she couldnt find her parents.....I remember her name so clearly..It was Lia.......
I paged her parents..over and over again...we gave Lia coloring books, and stuff like that so she wouldnt worry, and we gave her a little food.........She was such a sweet girl...She walked up to the desk at noon.....at 8pm we called the cops....they came and took the now sleepy girl to a foster home, or shealter or something....I couldnt belive it...I was heartbroken..If she couldnt take care of her child why not take her somewhere better equipt...why a staples...This girl loved her mother....sooo sad......
Masachusetts has just passed a law saying that girls who cant take care of there babies can bring them to places like hospitals, police stations, and firehouses....this is to deter these girls from throwing babies out the car window...or down the toilet...sooo sooo sad
post #4 of 12
I worked at a petstore. I wasn't there when this happened, but rules were changed because of it.

My boss and his wife are church goers, and they like to go to an evening worship once a week. On that day, they close quickly, and rush to the church for the services.

About 15 minutes before closing time, a man and a woman came in with their 6 yr old son. My boss and his wife thought NOTHING of it, it's normal for parents and their kids to go in to a pet store. Well, about closing time, they went to round up the customers, and just found the boy. No parents anywhere.

They asked him where his mom and dad had gone. "OH, they went to WalMart". Walmart is across a huge parkinglot, and a street from the store they left their son in. an HOUR later, the parents came back to get their son... AN HOUR!!!!!! My bosses missed their service, because they could NOT push the boy out the door with no parents, and it was dark out by that time. They could have taken him to Walmart to find the parents, but they thought that would be a bad idea, to take him from the store.

After that NO child under the age of 13 was allowed in the store without a parent NO MATTER WHAT! If a group of kids came in, at leat ONE of them had to be 13, or they all had to leave. We told the oldest kid when groups came in, that if anything happened, the eldest would be responsible, or they could leave.

My boss had a problem with parents dropping their young kids off in the pet store while they did their grocery shopping. Like the petstore was a daycare center... Free day care center at that!

It always shocked me that parents leave their kids places like that.

Not like we live in a bad area. About 75% of the people who grew up in this town will leave their cars running in the winter time (NOT LOCKED) while they run in the store to shop. Hubby and I have left our car running about an hour, unlocked, while we shopped. I always feel uneasy, but our car is ALWAYS there when we leave. Most people don't lock their car doors, a lot leave the keys in the ignition. It's common, very common here. Slowly things are changing though Too many city dwellers are moving to our town to get away from crime, bringing their kids, who grew up in a city, then those kids are commiting crimes... UGH!
post #5 of 12
This thread has 4 too many stories in it.....soooo sooooo sad
post #6 of 12
Unfortunately, we live in a very imperfect world and, the sad truth is, parenting is a privelidge, not a right, and it is often granted upon people who maybe do not yet deserve the joys that children bring.
I work with cases of child abuse and domestic violence every day that would chill your bones. In one case recently, a parent left their 4-month-old baby on the top part of a couch (not the part where you sit, but the top- where cats like to perch) and went into another room. Well, the baby did what other babies that age do- he rolled and rolled off the couch. Numerous broken bones later, this parent has been charged (and rightfull so) with child neglect. So both of the boy's parents have been ordered to parenting classes in my office, but I sort of think that some people are way beyond parenting classes...
I'm sorry you guys have witnessed some neglectful and ignorant things as well. Just proof that this is a problem that will, unfortunately, not go away any time soon.
post #7 of 12
It's horrible how people treat their children, spouses, and pets. I'm researching the link between pet abuse and spouse/child abuse and the correlation is staggering.
Katherine, I can only imagine what you see working at the visitation center. Keep up the good work though- what you do is so vital (even though- and I may get booed for saying this- if it gets to the point where parents can only get supervised visitation with their children (like in the case where the father killed the kittens and then tried to run the mother off the road)- these children might be better off not having to see these abusive parents at all!).
post #8 of 12
My co-worker adopted her daughter from China, and she has said many times that all parents should have to go through what she went through before getting her girl. There were checks, classes, and a rather large amount of money involved for her daughter, who she absolutely cherishes. (Not that there aren't good parents who haven't gone through that, but it sure would stop a lot of these idiots who procreate!)

This really is a bit "heavy" for the Lounge, so I'll move it to IMO.
post #9 of 12
Originally Posted by ugaimes
I may get booed for saying this- if it gets to the point where parents can only get supervised visitation with their children (like in the case where the father killed the kittens and then tried to run the mother off the road)- these children might be better off not having to see these abusive parents at all!).
I agree, I was thinking that he shouldn't be seeing his kids. That is horrible. It's too bad what some kids have to go through just to grow up to become adults living in the real world. I think all kids should get a childhood so that they are more grown up as adults. (Not meaning anything bad to any adults who are still kids, I married one )
post #10 of 12
Originally Posted by MyRage
I agree, I was thinking that he shouldn't be seeing his kids. That is horrible. It's too bad what some kids have to go through just to grow up to become adults living in the real world. I think all kids should get a childhood so that they are more grown up as adults. (Not meaning anything bad to any adults who are still kids, I married one )
Sadly, I see this all the time working in a Family homeless shelter. A newly arrived family came into the clinic the other day for their required screenings. The girl all of 24 came into the clinic with a parade of kids ages 1 and a half to age 7. She had with her, six kids in all and she is about 5 months pregnant. I wanted to take her and boyfriend by the shoulders and shake then into reality. This is not 30 years ago, there's a plethora of birth control methods available today. Half the kids weren't up-to-date with their vaccinations, 3 have asthma and one has a seizure disorder. Prenatal care that might have lessened the severity of their illnesseses, or made them non-exsistant?...forget about it, I guess she didn't have time.

About six months ago I was riding the bus to work, saw a mother and I use that term loosely, slap her 2 year old awake, because she was getting off at the next stop. She was slapping her little girl hard, on the face and body. She was annoyed that the child wasn't waking up fast enough to suit her wishes. I told her to keep her hands off her child, or I would call the police right there and then. Well I was getting off the next stop as well. She followed me angrily and kept screaming at me to mind my own business, I refused to back down. Next thing I knew a few men got off the bus and surrounded me as well, as if I was the party who had done wrong. Luckily for me, the bus driver, broke up the crowd and told them, that he was going to call the police himself. The woman and the men quickly left the scene. I only wish now, that I had called the cops. I hope at the very least, she no longer strikes her kid in public, but I have my doubts.

Again at the clinic, I talk to moms to be about breast feeding.I tell them time and time again how breast feeding is so important for the babie's overall health, especially their immature immune systems. I can't tell you how many of these young girls think breast feeding is disgusting. They see their breasts as sexual objects only to be touched by their boyfriend/husband. One girl actually told me that she saw breast feeing as incest!

Don't get me wrong, there are many moms and dads that are trying to do right by their kids in the shelter. The bad ones stick out like a sore thumb though. No wonder so many kids grow up violent and/or mentally disturbed. Again I state, kids learn by example. Violence and neglect at home will mark a child for life. The vast majority of these kids will either end up abusing themselves, through alcohol or drugs or make bad choices in relationships. Or they will ending up abusing others, with violence, abuse or murder.

Some days I wish I never left floor nursing, at least I could see somebody's hip or leg heal from a fracture, or see someone cured from cancer. I love my job for the most part, but some days are harder than others.
post #11 of 12
I had posted this in another thread in the Cat lounge, but I think it belongs in here too....
I was in the grocery store and this woman was checking out and was letting her son roam while she did it. She was at the register, and at times around the corner (leaving the boy out of her sightline). The boy was looking around, just chilling, over by the exit. The thing is, I can guess ages pretty well (taught swimming for long enough to develop that skill) and if that boy was older than 2 I'll eat my hat. FOR GOD SAKE, WOMAN, THE DOORS ARE AUTOMATIC. That kid could have been run over in the parking lot before she even noticed. Obviously, people backing up would never see such a small boy. (I stood beside him with my groceries until his mom was done and gave her quite a look, but didn't get into a conversation as she was speaking chinese to him and I wasn't sure she'd even know what I was saying given the area).

Second thing, once when I was like 15, my friend and I were walking home from a McDonalds near my grandmother's house. This was in Scarborough, for those of you who know the area, around Midland on Lawrence (very busy). This man was backing out of his parking space unaware of a small girl (18 months? young toddler, anyway) standing behind the car. Of course, he couldn't see her, and her parents were ACROSS THE PARKING LOT, motioning and telling her to move, running over (but not sprinting). Well, I was closer, so I walked behind the car (guy gave me a look like what the hell are you doing), picked up the kid (guy gave a look like he just had a heart attack, poor guy, not his fault at all) and gave her back, along with a few choice words about MANAGING YOUR CHILDREN.

Seriously, it makes me so angry when people don't take responsibility for their children. You hear about this sort of thing every day. It's really very sad.
post #12 of 12
I work in a deli, and in the surounding departments it's all female employees - most of them being moms or grandmoms. If someone does something to their kid - slap them, yell at them, or push them around - let me tell you, that person is going to get an earful. I'm really surprised these "parents" and "grandparents" haven't complained to the management yet. We really don't care if we get in trouble, we won't stand for seeing that sort of thing.

And I've heard the worst stories from the 11 year old girl who was going to be my step-sister. (My mom freaked 2 weeks before the wedding and threw her and her father out of the house.) Her and her friends are only 11, and they've been through more hell than I can imagine.

Her parents (who were drug addicts), and even my mom, constantly forgot about her needing rides home from school. I ended up in the role of surrogate mother, because they kept forgetting about her. Her parents were divorced (duh), and fought for A YEAR about who was going to take her to the hospital to get a spider bite treated. After a years time she had a huge cyst that had to be cut from her arm and she ended up with 12 stitches. (Which, by the way, I had to clean and bandage because the rents always forgot to.) I really worry about how's she doing. I respected her families wishes after the split-up and I haven't talked to her. But I think about her every day, and miss her so much. (From what I can tell, her dad has sobered up, and her grandma has become much more active in her life, so I'm sure she's doing okay.)

One of her friends told me a story about how her mom and dad were alcoholics, and the one night they went to a bar across town and got into a fight. Her mom left, and at some point lost her shoes, and ended up sleeping on the sidewalk because she passed out drunk. Her dad managed to drive all the way home and passed out in the driveway in the car. This was the way the police found them the next morning. The girl was at home by herself that night.

Another friend had to testify in court because her mom's boyfriend STAPLED her to the wall. Last I heard, the mom was still seeing this guy.

And yet these three girls were some of the kindest kids I've ever met. I spent all the time I could with them because they were always full of laughter and knew how to have fun. I really hope they turn out okay as they grow older.
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