Originally Posted by Tara
Just seen your reply Elizabeth; thanks for reassurance. I think maybe I am worrying whereas I could just accept some swiping as inevitable but it appears that my old cat is in a very precarious position. When Sasha and Saba first met face-to-fasce, what actually happened? Did they swipe at each other?
I had a very good teacher: Hissy!
I knew that she intro'd her cats by creating a cat room upstairs just for the new arrival and it has a chicken wire gate. So Eric & I rigged up a similar thing across the upstairs den door, and Saba could stare at Sasha all she wanted. Sasha was very curious as to his new baby sister.... he had a new kitten brother about a year+ ago who later died of leukemia at just 8 mos, and he was very attached to him, so we were hoping that history would repeat itself and he would delight in having a new baby sister who desperately needed a home. After 2 days we let Saba out upstairs and she walked over to Sasha and yes, swatted him -- but she's so petite, it was only an air swipe! Sasha was unimpressed by this diva action and went over to a corner and sat down. This totally confounded Saba! She was "ready to rumble" in her little brain. But Eric & I tried to be united stress-free front and we picked up Sasha and kissed him all over....and would pick up Saba right after that and kiss her all over in plain view of each other. So she learned to identify kisses to Sasha as the same for her. We only were affectionate, never scolded.
Saba did swipe at him and caught a little fur, but this was only in the first week and yes, it happened face to face. Sasha had his ears back after that and he'd arch up -- pretty intense for mellow Mr S. -- and that was as bad as it got. When I saw that happen, I gently picked her up, kissed her, put her back down and praised her and praised him together..... one hand petting each at the same time! I was hoping that they'd both feel my soothing hand on their backs and think the other was doing it!
I think you are going to need some patience here, because your situation with the new one is coming off trauma....and chicken wire, if you can rig it up, is the best. I would sit in front of her "room" for hours at a time, reading, or just having Sasha calmly on my lap -- and reading, as the visual of "being a united loving family" is also important! Every day was a new baby step....and please know that there may be such small progress you can't really see it yet....one less hiss, one less arch of the back.....tiny things. My siutation was a bit different, but again, the body language was very telling.
I would like to hear what happens. I do no tknow if I have helped, but reading responses sometimes you'll find just a word or two that you can make work for your own situation.
P.S. - We do have a Feliway plug-in dispenser upstairs in the hallway and also downstairs in the fam room. Saba ate upstairs in her room for a long time, Sasha eats down in the kitchen (they just started eating together). Saba had an upstairs litter and Sasha is an outdoor boy, but he also has a backup donwstairs as he's in at nights due to the coyotes.