or Connect
TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › writing
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:


post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 
I do ask for vibes, and your prayers, but im not asking for pityness.
I'm only asking if you can add better words or change it around to make it sound better.
Today im going to print a big picture of my mum and frame it. and on the side of the photo i want to add this.

Dear Mum,
I Cherished you for the way you were,
You were so lovely and nice, so caring to everybody who passed by.
I remember the fun times we had,
Eating ice cream, shopping, going to theme parks.
Untill the days started taking you away.
You had changed, from a loving mother to a screaming Devil
I didnt understand why you did this, because i was too young.
But i think now im old enough mummy,
To let you go with the other angels,
Because i think they need you more than me
So when the time comes for you to leave,
I will be OK,
Because i will always have you in my heart.
post #2 of 6
Sweetie, no-one could possibly make better the words that have come from your heart. They are YOUR words, YOUR feelings, YOUR thoughts and prayers... I think to have them changed by someone else would sully them. I think it's just perfect as it is - and you know, it even made me cry. You've a really loving person and so open-hearted to be able to love someone who has hurt you so. I know that there are many people in this world who couldn't - regardless of how close they were. The truth of the matter is, she is your mother, and you've proven that you can love her no matter what. You've gone where even angels fear to tread. Keep that close to your heart bebbie 'cause it's something that no-one could ever take away form you.
post #3 of 6
I guess the only thing I notice is that its missing some ' and . and such, but it came from your heart so I would not change your words. I hope the picture turns out well.
post #4 of 6
Fran, your writing moved me to tears. Emma is right, it came from your heart and words from the heart need no editing.
post #5 of 6
Thread Starter 
Thank you
I must admit i was crying when i wrote it
post #6 of 6
Fran, don't change a word~
You have me in tears
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: The Cat Lounge
TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › writing