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Someone want to explain men to me?

post #1 of 18
Thread Starter 
Ok, I'm walking through the house this morning, when two of my kitties double-teamed me and tripped me, causing me to fall. Hub was in the other room, and asked what happened. When I told him I fell, he got mad, not sure if it was at me for falling, or for the kits tripping me! Does someone want to explain that to me? I'm sure not going to tell him how badly my knee hurts, or my arm that caught my fall!
post #2 of 18
Its very possible he feels mad because he was not able to prevent your being hurt and is misdirecting his concern and powerlessness he might feel into anger.
-At least the root of his anger is concern?

He could be mad at the cats for tripping you.
-If so he should spend more time with them and train them not to trip you.

He could think it was your fault that you fell and he's mad about that.
-He needs to realize people are people and stuff happens. We are not all purrfect.

No matter what excuse or reason for being mad, the main thing is that you get your hurts tended to and if he is not willing to look past ANYTHING else and see that you are hurting and you come first, then he needs some training himself. It also never helps to feel like your not able to communicate, please don't hide things from your partner. Approach them and explain what is going on and let them know if your worried about how they will react before you tell them something.

Thats just my opinion of course.. and not all general advice is good for all people so please take anything said with a grain of salt. Use what works for you and toss out the rest. Good luck and I hope everything works out for the best and you heal from your fall. Please explain to the kitties that it is not nice to trip their mommy.
post #3 of 18
Oh I wish I only knew! My husband has a temper that flairs up when least expected and goes away just as quickly. When I ask him what is bothering him, the story changes from incident to incident and sometimes has nothing to do with the incident. If yours is like mine, its just his way of blowing off steam at the moment. The trick is to know when to pay attention and when to ignore it. Is yours quick to anger in general?

They say that women are hard to understand! No more difficult than understanding men!!
post #4 of 18
Cindy, it could be just as simple as this: He's stressed about the new bakery and everything else going on outside of the home, and somehow thought that everything inside the home should be perfect (subconsciously, of course). When you fell, it was just one more area of his life that isn't the way he would like it to be (home supposed to be his sanctuary right now, not someplace that he has to "take care" of things), and with the stress of everything else he just snapped (for no apparent reason even to himself).

OK, I could be totally off-base with that assessment, but that's based on the man I have at home who sometimes gets really angry with me to no apparent reason...and then I find out (usually about 3 days later) that other things were bothering him that had nothing to do with me or what he was mad about.
post #5 of 18
I don't know how many times i've heard men say they never understand women?.

I'm 46 and i'm still trying to work them out even now!!

Heidi has a point though?!
post #6 of 18
Oh yeah.. men are crazy, some just more then others.

Also.. women are crazy, most more then the rest.

Heh
post #7 of 18
Quote:
...the main thing is that you get your hurts tended to and if he is not willing to look past ANYTHING else and see that you are hurting and you come first, then he needs some training himself.
I agree with this statement. Bob reacts the same way when I trip over something...he gets angry. My answer is usually "Well I've just proven that I'm human" His second reaction is concern for my pains. I can guarantee the anger will melt while he's tending to you.

By the way, if ANYONE can explain why a man hides his injuries, let me know! My S/O is worse than a cat when he's hurt. If he could hide under the bed, he would.
post #8 of 18
You know... I'd love to be able to explain men to you. But I can't. This is one of those subjects I know nothing about, or have very little I could possibly suggest. All I will say is I hope your knee and arm stop hurting soon! You know that saying that "men are from mars, women are from venus"? Well.... I just heard a good variation on that theme "Men are from earth, women are from earth. We're only worlds apart when emotion is involved." I have a friend to thank for that one
post #9 of 18
lol mine does too he will just sit at the computer reading something and when i ask him a question about dinner he goes mental? or he just doesnt say anything at all. i usually find out later when he is calm though.
post #10 of 18
Jerry gets mad too at times over these things and I just think it's because they love us!! Give Charlie a hug Cind and tell him you love him too!
post #11 of 18
I go with the he's tense with everything going on and doesn't want to have anything else happening, like a hurt wife.

I hope you find it's just a bit of soreness, and that you feel better by later today. And...I hope your dh comes home and in the way some men have, lets you know what was bugging him, and in the way some men have, sorta apologizes
post #12 of 18
Cindy, did it really seem that he was mad at you? I can't see how. I don't quite get it, so he must have been mad at himself like other people said.

Quote:
Originally Posted by rosiemac
I don't know how many times i've heard men say they never understand women?.

I'm 46 and i'm still trying to work them out even now!!
So you don't understand women either?
post #13 of 18
I think also our s/os get so worried when we hurt ourselves that they think getting mad at us for doing it will stop it happening next time. I don't know why that logic works for them, but I've noticed with hubby that it seems to come from the premise that I need to look after myself as he won't always be there to look out for me! It's sweet that he wants to care for and protect me, although I am a grown woman who can do this for myself - that doesn't mean I want him to stop though No wonder men don't understand women and vice versa
post #14 of 18
Thread Starter 
Thanks girls, and guys, I appreciate the input! I'm going to go along with the overstressed part, 'cause he's like me, he's got a bit of a short temper anyway, but we don't usually take it out on each other. Like I told him, I was double-teamed, nowhere for me to go but down! I do know I kicked both cats in the process, and had to check them out too, 'cause they went running away like bullets before I could pick myself up off the floor!
post #15 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hydroaxe
Cindy, did it really seem that he was mad at you? I can't see how. I don't quite get it, so he must have been mad at himself like other people said.



So you don't understand women either?
Ooooooooooh!!! I can't even think of a reply?!
post #16 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by rosiemac
Ooooooooooh!!! I can't even think of a reply?!
post #17 of 18
Bah!
People are people and no-one is understandable!
post #18 of 18
I'll second that!! Peoples is peoples! And I don't understand women either. However, I am fluent in child.
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