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If we only had the money

post #1 of 40
Thread Starter 
My mom just told us that a guy was selling a trailer house, 2 bedrooms, for only $3,000 cash. The thing is we can't do that. I doubt we could come up with that type of money to buy it. I was thinking of a loan but dont know where to get one. I cant get one thats for sure and Robert might not be old enough or have enough credit. If we could get this place then we could have extra money to save back. The guy want is up front not payment plans. The one good chance to have our own place, even though it a weird thought to live there.

Robert didn't get the manager position on account the asst. manager kept changing the work times so Robert couldnt get the proper training in. THe General manager made the time and the asst. changed it with out him knowing. NOt right. Not fair. Hope she gets fired soon Or the police training place opens up soon. He is going to do that when it opens. Something good needs to happen for us.

post #2 of 40
Ashley, I´ll prayer for you tonight, maybe you won the lotery and you can buy that trailer!!!
Good luck!
post #3 of 40
Keep your chin up Ashley and remember, where there's a will, there's a way!!
post #4 of 40
Sounds like you've had some disappointing times. I'm kinda in the same boat, too, lots of things going wrong these days. But all the kitties & hens are doing well, so am I, but I certainly can relate...My friend likes to remind me of the Irish? saying, "When a door closes, a window opens", so I hope that some windows open for you!! Yes, the lottery win would be fantastic!! But the police training sounds like a winner, too! Then maybe he could work for the police force, or maybe even Border Patrol! His current job, although it IS a job, sounds like it will never be that great - if the manager doesn't clue in to what the asst. manager did, I doubt that business will ever see its full potential, and everyone suffers as a result. I had a job like that; I was working in shipping, and we had to sign our names on the packing slips of orders that we packed. That allowed the front office to track which shippers made mistakes. Well, 2 girls would forge my name. I couldn't understand why I was doing such a lousy job, until complaints came for orders filled on the day I went home sick (I got a violent migraine & a co-worker drove me to the doctor then home). I asked the front office to have the customers fax the packing slips and voila!the writing wasn't mine and the plot was revealed!! I just keep my mouth shut, and acted cordial, and boy, those 2 girls were so nervous, waiting for me to blow my stack, and they were so kissy-kissy nice, but it was good to have things on a positive note in the shipping dept. So, hang in there, it can work out! Just be Robert's "soft place to land"(Dr. Phil's expression)and remind him that petting cats relieves stress & is proven to lower blood pressure.
Originally Posted by golden_moon_luv
My mom just told us that a guy was selling a trailer house, 2 bedrooms, for only $3,000 cash. The thing is we can't do that. I doubt we could come up with that type of money to buy it. I was thinking of a loan but dont know where to get one. I cant get one thats for sure and Robert might not be old enough or have enough credit. If we could get this place then we could have extra money to save back. The guy want is up front not payment plans. The one good chance to have our own place, even though it a weird thought to live there.

Robert didn't get the manager position on account the asst. manager kept changing the work times so Robert couldnt get the proper training in. THe General manager made the time and the asst. changed it with out him knowing. NOt right. Not fair. Hope she gets fired soon Or the police training place opens up soon. He is going to do that when it opens. Something good needs to happen for us.

post #5 of 40

I am not trying to be mean, but keep living the way you are. Not doing anything to improve your situation, such as study for GED, get that out of the way, maybe look into a trade college? Grants are possible for people who are low income. Not get a job period, keep collecting more animals (more responsibility, more mouths to feed) and the type of disappointment you are feeling right now will be amplified. How much are you paying for online connection? We pay $50.00 a month for ours. If I were in your shoes, I would be disconnecting my internet and putting that money away, or buying food, or looking into ways it can help me. And I know, you left home early, you had a bad life- sweetie, join a BIG club and it is only another reason why you should want to improve your situation and not wallow in it.

I have a dear friend, I have known over 20 years. Lost her parents at the age of 13 ran away from foster homes, struck out on her own at 16 landed in Alaska, had a couple major scares, finally swallowed her pride and asked for help from an elderly man. He helped her. He taught her how to build things, how to sculpt, how to draw, how to live. She is married today happily to a greek man and is the most self-sufficient woman literally on the planet. She could have played the cry me a river song, but decided to get pro-active with her life or freeze to death. Life is tough, that is a fact. You deal with it as it comes, or it will destroy you.
post #6 of 40
I agree 100% with Hissy on this one. I had a boyfriend since I was 17 and we have been together for almost three years now. I know you want to get a place of your own and stuff, but you should wait. A trailer is not a place you want to start out!! If you start there, and if you don't finish high school, let alone go to college...no matter how you look at it...you will be stuck there forever. It's becoming harder and harder to find decent jobs now without a college degree. My family and my boyfriend's family don't have a lot of money, so we are pretty much on our own with that too. We both are getting a college degree so we won't have to struggle raising our future children like our parents did. That means we probably are going to have to wait to get married and have a place of our own until were like 23 or 24, but if that means a BETTER future...so be it. You need to look at everything that will effect the future you want, and if it makes it worse...then don't do it.
post #7 of 40
ash, I know im going to be rude now but im going to be nice as possible.
I know youre at your mums with the internet so that isnt a problem since your mum pays for it... But Isnt it time to start a budget?
If my bf didnt have to pay off all of his debts we would be so rich right now and we are going to be fine in april or so. Not rich but you know really well off.
In some ways i feel sorry for you, but i do get angry each time you complain at the board about jobs and money.

why live in a crappy trailer? where are you going to put all of your pets?
Dont you think its time for some animals to be adopted somewhere else?
I would love to get 2 or 3 more kitties, but do you think my bf would ever allow me? Im sure he would but only if money permitted it. and im supposed to be the money financer in this house!

you are both so young and it sounds like both of your parents arent supporting either of you in any way.
You always say that everything is not fair.
Do you think life is fair for anybody??
I'm sorry if im sounding rude, but since we are the same age, to me you prove that you arent thinking enough and through it properly
post #8 of 40
I am sorry but I have to agree with the others as well... I see your posts and sometimes I wonder how much you are really thinking through things. Your so young and I think that you have got to realize that the decisions you make right now affect your entire life. I know your life hasn't been easy, mine wasn't either. You can not continue to use that as an excuse or keep waiting for someone to feel sorry for you and help you out. There comes a point when you have to make things happen on your own. No one is going to improve your life but you. You need to concentrate right now on your GED and drivers license. Also your job situation.... You have got to work and right now you are going to have to work hard to make something of yourself. You need to have goals set and stick to them. If that means working in a fast food place and cleaning toilets 5 times a day, then so be it. As far as your pets go, I know you love them, but I just read through all the threads you have started and there are a ton of them mentioning getting new pets, and breeding and so on. I don't see how you can possibly continue to support all of these animals, when so many of your posts describe how you can barely take care of yourself. Why not wait until you are in a situation where you can take care of yourself and then responsibly decide whether or not you can afford a pet
I think your intentions are good but sweetie you are not 12 years old anymore. Unfortunately, situations have forced you to grow up faster than you should have. You do not want to spend your entire life struggling to make ends meet.
You probably are not going to like this... but that boyfriend of yours.... You have made mention of abuse to you and your animals, you mention the fact that he walked out of his job because he had to do things he didn't like. Ashley, in a relationship you both need to have the same goals. Neither should be holding the other down.... You need to decide whether you are going to be able to have what you want out of life with this guy, if not, leave him. Concentrate on yourself, become an independant woman and I promise you the right person will come along.
I can say all of this because I have been there. I can honestly say that I am not going to end up like my parents and I have made a better life for myself. I finally got it in my head that I didn't want to struggle. I finished school, worked hard, found a wonderful guy who proposed to me last night and we are closing on our first house on the 28th. It's not a trailer, it's a great house in a great neighborhood, even has a pool. You can do it, it's just up to you to decide what you want and it's up to YOU to make it happen.
post #9 of 40
Life is only as fair as you make it for yourself.

In other words, if you work hard you will have great rewards in life. If you sit around and complain and wait for people to hand things to you.........you get handed the "crap" that the people who work hard don't have to take.

Get you GED and stand on your own 2 feet. To me, it sounds like you're waiting for your boyfriend to get a wonderfull job and support you. (This isn't going to happen.) The best reward in life is INDEPENDENCE!!!!!

I can not say this enough.....get your GED!!!! Didn't you say the test was approaching in March? We're almost there. What have you done to prepare for it?
post #10 of 40
Right, why aren't you studying for it? My guess is you have already told yourself it won't matter, you are a failure.

Ok this is going to surprise some people, but here it is- I used to be a major druggie, lived in a trailer, got high. I was married too. My hubby introduced to drugs (nice man huh?) I came from good background, and married was on food stamps! It was a hard lesson to learn and an even harder one to live. But I walked away finally after ten years of an emotional roller coaster abuse of all sorts and I found myself. I got a job a new place NOT a trailer. I divorced and moved on. I didn't wait for someone to give me what I thought I was owed, I went out and found it for myself. My friend who is a published writer when we share stories of our past she says I lived the kind of life some writers would die for, because of the hardships, because of the experiences. I turned it all around. Because of my early choice of running away from home to GASP move in with this man, I lost my family. Not that I really had them in the first place, we were not the family of the year, but the small things I did have, I lost. Do I miss them? Sometimes, usually at Christmas when I know they are getting together totally ignoring me- but you know what? Life sometimes isn't fair. And having money isn't the answer to all your problems. It's what you believe about yourself, your values, what you settle for and what your learn along the way.
post #11 of 40
I feel like a lot of Ashley's posts turn into this... a lot of us giving great advice and sharing personal experiences to try and help her. It makes me remember all of the people who gave me such good advice during those times and how I was convinced my situation would end up differently. It never got better though, not until I realized I was the one who had to make the difference. I had to learn it for myself I guess.
Ashley, we aren't trying to gang up on you. We are just trying to get you to realize how things look from our point of view. You can't always see things clearly when your on the inside.
post #12 of 40
Right, I had friends that would tell me that Don was a deadhead, I supported our family for a very long time and just kept thinking I love him, this will get better. But it never did and progressively it got worse. I guess that is what scares me when I read posts from young kids struggling and complaining instead of acting to change things. Because I was them ONCE, I was the loser, the complainer, the woe is me, life gave me dirt, I will eat mud pie. You are what you make of yourself. My hope is that Ashley can see herself in one of us trying to help her. She may even get mad, and say "I'll show them all!" And if she does, I will be the first one to applaud her, but for now, all her posts tell me is she is feeling sorry for herself and she is losing what quality of life she could have. I was 17 when I left home. I snuck out in the middle of the night after a huge fight with my mom. It's not something I am proud of- but it is something I learned hard lessons about in doing.
post #13 of 40
Also sometimes it takes hard lessons to really help one, nothing is easy and no one said life is fair it isn't, you get outta life what you put in it. If you work hard and try hard things will get better
post #14 of 40
I have to agree with the others. The time you spend on the internet and on this site would be better spent in school or at a job. I have no idea how or why you have a fiance at age 17, but that should be the last of your priorities right now. You identify your town as boring, but if you do not take control of your life and your future, you will be singing the same song forever.

Life is not fair. That is the one truth. You get out of life what you put into it, and even then some of us work a lot harder than others to get the things we have. You are 17. You have your whole life to be a grown up and have all of the things you seem to so desperately want now. Invest in your future today by going to school and giving yourself a chance to have that future.

I don't know if it's the parent or educator in me...perhaps both....and you may hate all of us for saying these things, but if somewhere along the way it sinks in, we have all done you a huge favor.
post #15 of 40
post #16 of 40
I mean listen im a loser my self
Im 18, My bf wasnt the best person to come accross to but he has changed so much in the time we known each other and he has supported me.
I KNOW THAT ITS UNFAIR!! Do you think that i deserved to have the parents i have and what they put me through? You know i dont even have a family anymore, My mother prefers the alcohol, my dad is just in his own world, my relatives dont even give a flying **** about me or even know that i exist.
But i am still on my own legs, Even with anxiety and depression.
I have seen you online since you started this thread and you still havent replied to any of us.
Infact when we talk to you about this matter you never reply back.
IM not attacking you. I may sound like a total bitch, but thats okay.
Ive lost 2 years of school which i am making up for now, Since im at home i enjoy studying, cleaning and pampering my kitty.
and as i read from your other post you do it from home too right??

SO how about Changing your self
1. Making your self a nice home made make over.
Im sure you have hand cream and nail polish and shampoo.
SO take a shower, Only 5 mins though to refresh your self, Wash hair.
Blow dry your hair if you have a dryer,
Put cream on your face and body.
Wear your best clothes
Start doing your nails.
Clean a table or desk
Lay our all your books
Get a paper and pens start your goals
Stick it on the wall infront of you
Read through your books,
when you are finished. Do you know how much better you will feel???
2. get your books out and start studying
3. Get a piece of paper stick it on the wall and decorate it, THEN WRITE DOWN YOUR GOALS! its never too late!
This is what i did and do you know what?
post #17 of 40
Ashley, I know I have been hard on you in the past but you have to realize that what everyone here is saying is TRUE, and sadly the truth hurts a lot of the time.

Fran made a great point that you never reply to us about this, I hope that is because you are thinking about everything said.

I'm not going to repeat anything, you get the point.

Read this thread over very carefully, you are not the only one who has dealt with the UNFAIR reality of life.

Don't let your life waste away, you know what you need to do~
post #18 of 40
Originally Posted by fwan
I have seen you online since you started this thread and you still havent replied to any of us.
Infact when we talk to you about this matter you never reply back.
fwan's right, Ashley. Whenever people post in a way to truly help you and not just sympathize or give you shoulder to cry on, you avoid the thread from that point forward. I hope that perhaps you seriously consider some of the solid advice you have been given before your life takes you to a place where you have no other options.
post #19 of 40
Ashley, I have to agree with the others. I remember a couple of weeks ago when you had a nasty cat bite or scratch and needed to go to the emergency room....you complained about not having any money to go. Yet, just a few days ago, you were posting about wanting to buy a new computer and just recently about getting a couple of new pets in addition to all the ones you already have.

Sweetie....your priorities are all messed up right now. You shouldn't be thinking about a new computer or getting more pets. Your number one priority right now should be getting your diploma and trying to get a better job. I'll tell you, just like I tell my own daughter (who is 21 now and doing nothing with her life).....until you realize that YOU are responsible for your life....nothing is going to change. YOU are the captain of your own ship and YOU decide where you want to take it. Until you gain the skills and experience that you need, you will have to work at some pretty crappy jobs. But you know what? Each job experience.....no matter how crappy it is.....is a stepping stone to another job. No matter what job you have, you need to do the BEST job you can and look for opportunities to learn new skills and experience new things. Then....you move onto another job and do the same thing.....keep learning and climbing the stairs....until you get to the point where you're happy and finally doing the job that you want to do. Most of us spend our entire lives striving for that "dream job" and few of us ever make it. It's a journey that takes years to accomplish. You can't expect to have your dream job now. If you look at each new job or experience as a stepping stone to something better......it makes it a lot more tolerable. And along the way, you will have to make numerous sacrifices in order to achieve what you want out of life.

I'm sure that every single person here has a story of sacrifice that they can tell you and I'm sure that everyone will tell you that they didn't start out having everything they wanted or working the perfect job. It's hard work and it's a process that you have to go through in order to become a successful adult. There aren't any shortcuts.

Ashley...only YOU can make the necessary changes in your life that are going to improve things for you. I'm not telling you anything that I haven't told my own daughter.....so I hope that none of this hurts your feelings.
post #20 of 40
You don't want to go to that place girl. I have been there. It is a deep dark hole and I only made it out because of the grace of God. Ok I have actually said all I can say. Gave you a brief moment of my past life which to this day still causes me shame. I just hope you aren't mad and fuming, but instead you are thinking, processing what has been said and will be adult enough to respond soon on a level manner.
post #21 of 40
I've been the same place Hissy's been and she's right you have to get out of there on your own. It may seem like you can't right now, but you can. Every person has that power, it's just hidden sometimes. That's all I'm going to say because I know you're going to ignore everything everyone's said and continue running down the wrong path because you're being stubborn and you think you're an adult and you think you know what's right. You're wrong. You need to re-evaluate your life with an outside eye. There are people in this world who would absolutely LOVE to live in Sweetwater, TX. And I'm not just talking about 3rd world country people, I'm talking about people in big cities that have had it up to here with the city. And trailers have horrid resale value. $3000 today would be a giveaway tomorrow. And to think that trailer probably originally cost the equivalent of a small home $30,000 in the currency of the time it was built.

And to respond to Hissy's last post, maybe mad and fuming is best because that's how this will eventually get through to her.
post #22 of 40
atleast the little idea i had sounded good and it did work for me!
post #23 of 40
Ok, I'm going to have to add my two cents here, and no, I'm not going to repeat what everyone else has said, although I agree totally, I only want to say one thing---things like this, here in this thread, are part of the reason I love this forum, everyone cares about each other. Although we may not want to hear what is being said to us, the members here care enough to respond, with their own, wiser experiences. If nobody cared about you, Ashley, they would never have taken the time to sit down at their computer and write the posts that they have here, in the hopes that you will learn from their mistakes. I'm praying for you, that you will read this thread, and reply to us, and learn from each one who cared enough to give of themselves to help you.
post #24 of 40
Ashley, you have to be prepared to work hard and stay focused. Work isn't fun, it isn't fair and it isn't easy. It is what it is---WORK, being productive. You have to want to help yourself and believe that you deserve better. God can only meet you half way
post #25 of 40
Ashley, I agree with all the advice here, but I want to add a few things. Essentially everyone here is telling you that it is about time you pulled yourself up by your bootstraps and do something about your situation. I truly do not think you can at this moment in your life, because I honestly believe you hate yourself deep down. When I read your posts you never miss a chance to downgrade yourself, you even belittle your appearance when you post a pic, and "warn" us how ugly YOU think you are. That speaks volumes to me. You need to talk to someone about your low self esteem, otherwise you will be stuck in the life you are in, with a man who beats the crap out of you and if I recall correctly abuses the animals. If I am wrong on that I stand corrected and apoligize.You have caught yourself in a cycle that has no end, unless of course you count that he may kill you. I work in this field, it CAN happen to you. Ashley, I'm going to be blunt here, you are living with a loser, a bum, a user. I think the only reason you stay, besides the money, is you believe you will never get another man in your life. Ashley what you need now is a WOMAN in your life, YOU. You have chosen the role of a woman at age 17, now act like one and get the help you need. Don't say you can't afford it, there are a lot of free or low cost programs out there. Ashey, I notice you don't respond to posts like these, that's okay, just listen to all our advice and take action NOW!
post #26 of 40
Everyone is giving you GREAT ADVISE!! If you added up of the ages of the people who have just written to you it amounts to YEARS OF EXPERIENCE!! You are not the first person in your situation and you won't be the last. You need to take control of your own life. I bet most everyone on this site loves cats as much as you but you need to be realistic with your current situation-you can't take care of them all!! I believe it was MA who wrote the article on hoarding-I think you should read it. What do you want to do with your life in the next 5 years, the next 10 years?? What to you need to change in your life to reach that 5 year goal?? WRITE IT DOWN!!! I really don't like my current job situation but I'm lucky-come Sept 30th I will be out of a job after almost 20 yrs-longer than you have lived on this earth. You know what I'm not depressed about it I'M EXCITED!!!!!! What a wonderful opportunity for a new life challenge I'm going to finally do what I've always wanted to do!! I really hope you are taking me and every else seriously-I think we all want the best for you and will assist you as best we can. You are a good person-right that on your bathroom mirror -repeat it every day!!
post #27 of 40
Thread Starter 
OK. lets put it down, I have no computer HIssy. I come to my moms to use it.
IM tryn my best to find a job. I go to the Work force center and looks at the posts put up. THere is nothing up there I can do, maybe one thing. A dishwasher, But I can't. I would wash dishes , but with my hands breaking out and burning and itching after being soaked in water or my body sweat. No lie I have some type of issue with water. Other jobs are either in different towns or you have to have at least 3 months-3 years of work exp. needed to do jobs OR 18 yrs old. I could be hired at the dollar general BUT im not 18. Right now no one is hireing. IM going to take a few GED practice tests online today to see whewre im at. I put in applications almost everywhere. I swear I cant wait to be 18.

Oh Robert appliaded for the Local police here. He just neds to pass 3 tests and he is in. I hope we dont have to pay for everything.


The way I have things right now. The cats have their own room at night. The dogs are out side in some good dog houses and with our old blankets. The trailer house is the same almost. 2 bedrooms, a back yard. Its not crappy. Its actually nice inside. Anyways if we couldnt find a house a while back we would be in a trail house, or really mobile home right now.
post #28 of 40
I do agree that this is all great advice!!! Ashley I do hope you're not getting your feelings hurt or feeling sorry for yourself or getting mad. The truth is, a lot of us have been in your situation and your life is not going down a dead end street like you seem to think. It seems like you want better for yourself. You can HAVE better for yourself, you just have to be prepared to do some things that aren't fun. You need a responsible adult in your life to help you and provide some direction to your life. Have you thought about contacting someone (like a teacher, counselor)at your local high school to help you study for your GED? I know they will point you in the right direction!!You can also contact someone from your local Employment Commission Office to help you attain your GED. They are very helpful there. Do a web search to find help getting your GED, I'm sure you're not the only one that needs help!! Every area has some sort of GED prep classes. Anyway, hang in there and know that we are not judging you. Your posts sometimes just seem like you're crying out for help. We are just providing the help you're asking for.
post #29 of 40
You can buy rubber gloves to protect your hands from hot water and dishwashing soap.

You know Ash, I'm done. I tried, it fell on deaf ears, goodbye, have a good life if you can figure out how to finally do that.
post #30 of 40
Thread Starter 
OMG, Hissy . I have tried rubber gloves before. But guess what, My hands sweat like crazy and it makes my hands burn, itch, break out and hurt.

All I am saying here. If we could buy that trasiler we could save up money until we could find a new place. Then we would either rent it out or sell it later.

Deaf ears, I dont have deaf ears. Every one has been through this one way or anouther.
I forced my self to grow up fast after what happend to me when I was growing up. I even forced my self to stay away from people even my family because of what i went through. Im in the real world I know it. IM tryn to find a job, It may be easy to find one where you guys live but here. Its hard./ Anouther store is opening up soon and I cant apply. You know why, IM not 18. When i do get my GED it will still be hard. I have no exp. at all. Thats what people want when hireing others, exp. IM going back to the work force in a few days, I check the newspapers and stores. Nothing is hireing.

Go ahead Hissy give up, Everyone else has on me.

Im sorry if ALL MY POST end up like this.

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