I have been a little reluctant about posting this on here. I guess I just think people will think I was weird or something. I have been battling depression since I was in 7th grade. I have always been really shy also. Recently what I thought for SO many years that my being shy...is really social anxiety. It has gotten worse over the past year to the point I can hardly function. Everyday tasks are so hard for me to complete. When I go out in public, I literally feel like I am walking around naked. I feel exposed. I had to already drop three of my four classes this semester from not being able to attend. I really had to force myself to go to class this week so that I would be able to at LEAST complete ONE class this semester. My job is working in customer service. Well that requires a phone and talking to people. I know this is strange, but I also have a phobia which I now know is another symptom of social anxiety. It is talking on the phone to strangers. I seriously can't even order a pizza for myself. It is awful. When I go out with friends, or even my boyfriend...I have panic attacks. I thought I was just weak and was not eating right or something...until I described to my doctor what I was feeling. When I go out, I feel naked, I feel VERY uncomfortable when I walk, I feel like everyone is staring at me, I start sweating, I feel really hot, my heart starts to race, and I get weak in the knees. I am now taking medication to try to control this anxiety, and I know from experience that it is really hard to find a medication that works. (From depression) Please just pray for me that this will help me to feel normal. I have been suffering with this for so long. For so many years of what I thought was me being very shy...just thinking of how long ago this could have been taken care of. I didn't tell my doctor these symptoms before because I thought, "Well, you can't change being shy, so what's the point??" I REALLY hope this medicine works...because if it doesn't...I might lose my job! This is the job I want to continue after college...so losing this will just be a nightmare!!! Please pray for me!!!
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2/10/05 at 9:34pm