Have to get this out~ A rant about how life isn't fair *quite long*

This is brought on by the "Who wants to be a vet" thread..
We all have hard choices to make in life, this had to be the hardest one...
I used to be "kennel help" before my car accident, and it was the most rewarding job I will EVER have, and easily the hardest. I saw day to day people making "that" decision, where the love for their pets went above and beyond the "selfish" feelings they had... to keep the pet no matter... Most IMO made the right decision~

But the decisions made for the animals with no families... Actually, I was made the only family most of them ever had...
I was only kennel help, but the staff knew how I felt about any animal being left without love, it still hurts to remember these poor babies, but I was usually called in to hold them while they died~

I have 17 "pets" that I will see at the RB and they only know me as the one to let them go, to be without pain, to be loved.

And I hate that! How selfish can I be?!?!?!

Why me? Why do I care so much that I seem to put my personal sanity at stake for this?
Of course I am not speaking of those of you here, but why can't people step up and take care of those cats/dogs and every other animal around them? Why do I have to take care of their mistakes?!?!!?

Well, I guess I can answer my own question, I don't *have* to, but I do.

The whole reason I bring this up... While I no longer work at the vet, I still help them out, paid as is, ect.
Today I went there for a call, to help clean up kennels for a family of cats, feed, ect, a mother and her kittens.
I wish I could post something happier than what happened, but as the day went on, all died, and I was allowed to hold each one as they left~
I am so sad right now... Words don't describe it.
From 17 RB Angels I am up to 23.
Thanks for listening, I had to get it out...
Life is NOT fair

Oh ashley..I am so sorry that you are in pain.....Its a pain that shouldnt exsist but you are right and life does suck. I want so desperatly want to volunteer at a shealter....But your exact situation is the reason why i have reservations..I get too attached too quick, and tooo damn mad at the selfishness in this earth to ever bare with that situation..Maybe one day the world will wake up and people will start to repect these living breathing feeling wonders..But until then I am glad to see that there are people like you picking up the slack for everyone else.........

Thank you Bridget and Oz'sMum~
You don't know what your kind words mean to me... Thank you~

Oh Ashley, I can only offer my support how sad! It's sad that those little babies didn't make it. I shall say something special so that they all make it to the bridge safely. Your in my thoughts.

Oh Ashley, how devastating! You are so strong and loving to do this! You are giving these precious babies possibly the only love they have ever known. This is so special that before they move on from this cruel world to Heaven, they feel your special love for them, knowing just how cherished they are, even if for this short time. This is something they will not forget, and yes, you will be reunited with them one day. Unfortunately, this is also something you will never forget, and your wounded heart carries this burden.

Ashley I think it's so awful that these cold-hearted or thoughtless people leave the burden of the caring that they should have done to a warm-hearted, loving person like you. What's worse, they won't even understand the impact this "caring" has on your life, while they're quite prepared to leave some poor animal abandoned and to its own devices in the big wide world. I'm sorry that you bear the burden imposed by others; but I'm sure the animals are thankful for the kindness you show

Ashley, my hat's off to you. You must truly be a remarkable person to go through all this heartache over and over again. I know your caring will not go unrewarded. There is a special place in heaven for people like you.

Again thank you everyone! I never posted about this before because I don't want to seem special or anything like that, I just do it because I feel like I have to.
Yesterday just got to be too much and I had to talk about it and who better than all of you.
So thank you for you beautiful words and thoughts, it means more than anyone will ever know, really~

Ashley, my heart goes out to you. What you do is important but very heartbreaking. I understand your frustration over the fact that so many people are irresponsible and unloving to their pets-- then you have to deal with the consequences. But what you are doing is a VERY good thing. The poor animals don't have to suffer anymore as you send them peacefully on their journey to Heaven. The world needs more people like you!

I understand Ashley. I go through it all the time at work. It saddens me to see animals treated like this. Most people let things go and go until something absolutely needs to be done. One woman's dog came in with his eye bulging out of it's head, covered in blood and all infected. She didn't seem bothered by it much. We started it off on meds to see if we could get the swelling down and possibly save the eye. We told her to come back in a week for a recheck. She said "Oh, I don't know if I can do that. My schedule is just so crazy!" as she laughed.

I bet if her eye even started to resemble her dog's she would have been to the dr. right away.

Today we had a man bring in a dog almost 20 years old. Her eyes were all infected so she couldn't see. She was deaf. She couldn't walk and had to drag herself on the ground which resulted in sores all over. And she weighed about 15 lbs. The dog had been like that for atleast 2 years and **he** was finally ready to put her down today.

It just disgusts me how selfish people can be.

Keep on doing what you are doing. Atleast those animals will have been loved, if only for a short time.

this is why i couldnt help at the kennel i would have red eyes every day.

Me too, I wouldn't be able to stand it. God bless you Ashley!! You are so wonderful!!

to each and every one of you! Thank you

Ashley my friend .... I dont mean to be rude or cheesy. But He broke the mold after he made You hon .... I admire You immensly. I wanted to work in a shelter but my resolve and esteem is very low right now and I couldnt handle a cross unto the Bridge. Be strong my friend.. Be strong .