need some advice

I have 3 lovely kitties, two have been with me and my hubby for nearly 4 months now. One of them has been with us nearly 8 months. They have really sweet dispostions and are very affectionate to me and hubby but when we have a couple of friends over they dissappear. Now, we aren't loud or anything but my question is how can I make my kitties feel more comfortable around guests and not so shy and scared. I would really like it if they would hang around but I certainly can't make them. It kinda makes me sad that maybe they were mistreated before they came to live with us. We don't have company everyday but maybe once every other week we have a couple of friends over from church or even my parents come and visit. So we aren't a rowdy bunch. I would just like them to feel comfortable and not scared. Anybody got any suggestions out there?

I believe that cats are very much creatures of habit. Your cats are used to the 2 of you around only. They may have had a bad experience that causes them to be stressed when others are in the house. Or it may just be their personality. I wouldn't try to force them to socialize. It'll only make the problem worse. I vote to just respect what they are feeling, and perhaps they may get more used to visitors over time. One of mine used to be a hider, but he is much better with strangers in the house now.

One of my good friend's cats is a hider, too. He knows me in the house, but if anyone else comes in, he's gone for hours.

My cats scatter all the time when company comes over. I just let them hide, knowing they feel secure in their hidey holes and I do not expect them to depart from typical cat behavior. They flee or they fight. I would rather they flee instead of fighting. Cats are so low on the food chain that they feel vulnerable every time their enviornment shifts. Hiding allows them to feel in control.

I have some that hide and some that are very social. The social one had several litters before spaying and I think she just got used to alot of strange people around her and her kittens. My 6 mo old kitten was a rescue that had ALOT of cats running around and I have a feeling lots of people came over alot so he has no problem either. Bobber was always shy but finally (after 5 yrs) will come around when my parents are over. She has no problems with my sister, Do any of your friends or family have cats?? It seems to me that they can sense a fellow cat owner and seem a bit more willing to stick around when people visit. I think to it depends on how socialized they were with people when they were very little. Bobber had been a barn cat and really wasn't handled much-but then on the other hand several of my SIL's barn cats are very friendly!! Do you have some fun toys that could be used?

Originally Posted by GailC

I have some that hide and some that are very social. The social one had several litters before spaying and I think she just got used to alot of strange people around her and her kittens. My 6 mo old kitten was a rescue that had ALOT of cats running around and I have a feeling lots of people came over alot so he has no problem either. Bobber was always shy but finally (after 5 yrs) will come around when my parents are over. She has no problems with my sister, Do any of your friends or family have cats?? It seems to me that they can sense a fellow cat owner and seem a bit more willing to stick around when people visit. I think to it depends on how socialized they were with people when they were very little. Bobber had been a barn cat and really wasn't handled much-but then on the other hand several of my SIL's barn cats are very friendly!! Do you have some fun toys that could be used?

Click to expand...

Yes, a few of our friends have kitties and at first I thought maybe they smelled the other kitty on them. I didn't even think about the toys. I may try that when they are ready to come and visit company. I appreciate everyone's input. I guess I was so curious because I had never had a kitty that was scared of a stranger until these guys, and I've had kitties for as long as I can remember. Once or twice they have appeared maybe towards the end of the evening when company had been over for a while. Mainly I think it was because they were hungry and curious at the same time. The last time we had friends over, Jett came out of hiding and smelled everyone and stayed out. I was so proud of him! But I didn't hold him or anything b'c I was scared any sudden movement may upset him. Fortunatly for us we have very nice friends and family and they don't force the kitty to come see them. Not that I would allow that! I guess only time will tell and a little bit of patience from the 2 of us.

I think it really depends on how well they were socialized as kittens, their personalities, and whether they feel safe and comfortable around your guests.
Pippin will run when people come over, but only halfway up the stairs, then he will come back down and socialize, sometimes getting into their drinks or jumping on them unexpectedly.
Morris and Simple don't seem to even notice anyone is over, except that it's time to swarm them for lovin'.
Arwen is always hiding, but sometimes comes out if she hears my good friend, Tim.
If your cats usually come running when they hear a sound, like pouce treats rattling in their can, you could have your guest shake it, and give them a treat for visiting. That way they associate being social with a reward.
Sometimes, cats are more likely to come out when there is only one person over. They feel less intimidated by the noise and figure they can avoid one person. As they get used to you and the sounds of your friends and family, they might warm up to them.
You could also try bringing kitty out and putting him out of reach on a cat tree, so he can observe while feeling safe. He might even come down for a visit.
If your friends are so inclined, I recommend getting down on the floor to meet new animals. Your friends can also try getting out some of the kitty toys and playing with them. Cats are curious by nature and may want to come out and see what's going on.
Also try:
Playing soothing music
Speaking in low, calm tones. Don't make loud noises that might startle them.
Praising and rewarding behavior you want to encourage.
Try to be patient and remember they may NEVER be very social. A lot of it depends on your friends' willingness to get to know the cats on their terms.
Cats are unlikely to remember people that aren't around all the time. Take it slow with each visit.

Dev

This may be something that you don't want to start, but I found that cat treats got L.S. to come out of hiding when we had guests. He took to mom and I quick enough, but whenever a stranger came into the house, especially men, he'd run and hide for hours. We started it with my grandpa shaking the treat back and giving the other two treats whenever he came over. Eventually L.S.'s stomach overcame his fear and he would come out for treats, too. We did this for about two and a half months, and now he'll just come out to greet everyone and get petted, and doesn't ask for food anymore. He'll jump in my grandpa's lap, and he was crawling all over my friends' laps last time they were over.

Never fear, some cats just aren't sociable to people they don't know. Others are Type A Extroverts and plop themselves square into the lap of strangers.

My girlcats do not come out at all when company is over, UNLESS it is someone they know, and the only sociable girl who does so is Dusty. She picks her favorites and growls at everyone else!

The boys fear no one and accept everyone. It's just the cats personalities.

One of my cats came from an abusive home and he has biting issues, but I swear he's a lover & friendly and doesn't fear strangers. I have a female cat who has been with me all her life, loved and coddled all her life, yet she is a freak who only comes out for a few minutes and then takes off running, even from ME!

Cats are funny that way.