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Because I am Man

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the
hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If
another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to
fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I
wouldn't, know where to start." We will then drink a couple of beers and break wind, ..... as a form of holy communion.
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup
and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never
get as sick as I do, so for you this is no problem.
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at
the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items
like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing.
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will
insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice
as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
___________________________________________________
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand
while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole
show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a
calculator).....applies to engineers mainly.
_______________________________________________________
Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about
The true answer is always either sex, cars, or sport. I have to make up
something else when you ask, so don't ask.
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your
mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any
more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't
need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie
Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't....and if you are
feeling amorous afterwards...then I will certainly at least remember the name
and recommend it to others.
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what
you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is
fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look
fine. Can we just go now?
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2005, I will share
equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the
cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest......
like wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.
______________________________________________
This has been a public service message for Women to better understand
Men
post #2 of 15
So true!
post #3 of 15

Hey come one, some of us can actually fix cars.


Peace,
Brandon
post #4 of 15
Thanks, Fran!
Cute, Brandon!
post #5 of 15
Thank you for the laughs!
post #6 of 15
post #7 of 15
Very funny and so true... MEN!
post #8 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cougar

Hey come one, some of us can actually fix cars.


Peace,
Brandon
We'll let you off with that one!!
post #9 of 15
I remote control is not limited to engineer, accountants have the same reaction. Maybe it is remote withdrawal?? or they are used to holding something similar in shape and size!! (i'm so naughty for saying that!!)
post #10 of 15
Wow, Rapunzel47.....I didn't know you knew my dad!!!!!
Especially the second one. He always says "if you felt as sick as I feel right now, you'd be in the hospital". I tell him I'll trade his minor cold for my menstrual cramps and then we'll see who's too sick to go pick my brother up from hockey!
post #11 of 15
That's funny.
post #12 of 15
hehe they are so true except my bf can can a whole car appart and put it back together (as he has done it so many times and im sick of being there just watching him)
and im quite sick of having his mother over (how naughty am i)
post #13 of 15
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leli
Wow, Rapunzel47.....I didn't know you knew my dad!!!!!
Especially the second one. He always says "if you felt as sick as I feel right now, you'd be in the hospital". I tell him I'll trade his minor cold for my menstrual cramps and then we'll see who's too sick to go pick my brother up from hockey!
Want a real laugh? My source is a guy. But he knows how to laugh at himself.
post #14 of 15
LOL! Another good one!
post #15 of 15
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