What would you do?

turtlecat

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So, my sweet, loving husband decided that rather than get in the dog house this year for ignoring V-day until THE day (and as a result, having to be stuck in a position of being on a call list to celebrate our first valentines day), he'd go ahead and arrange for a restaurant this year. Now, I think that's sooo sweet. Here's the problem- He made reservations at a restaurant that I *hate*...... It's a fancy "french quarter" style of restaurant. now if anyone's from Louisiana, like I am, They know it's not the same anywhere else, and that there's no such thing as a dressy french quarter restaurant. Yuck. But then he wants to go to the cinema (still dressed fancy) to go see on-bak, a fighting movie.


Am I being picky, or is it right to be mildly irritated that V-day is going to be spent trying not to foist my dislike for dressing up and eating mock louisiana cooking off on my hubby? Or is it right to think it's a bit strange to get all fancy and then watch a flick in a theatre that probably has gum on the seats.

*sigh* What's a girl to do?
 
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turtlecat

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I don't mind the fighting movie. I mind that he wants to go to that wearing a suit, or me wearing a dress. If I'm going to be dressed up I don't want to go to a movie theatre. They're never REALLY clean. It's just odd that he wants to take me to a relly swanky dinner and then a not at all swanky or special movie.

As for the place, he was going to surprise me, until he heard me talking about the restaurant in a negative fashion to my friends- but he won't cancel the reservation just yet because he wants to take me out (irregardless of whether I like where he's taking me or not.)
 

pinkdaisy226

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You know, I always have that problem. My bf tries to make a grand gesture or get me something that I inevitably don't like. It's a tossup between fessing up (and making them feel bad) and suffering in silence. I think sometimes you have to do both... compromise, ya know? Maybe deal with the restaurant you don't want to go, but offer a different suggestion to the movie?

Good luck!
 

squirtle

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You go make reservations at a place that you really like and tell him that his offer was really sweet but that you had all ready made reservations for dinner to suprise HIM on Valentines Day
 

sar

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I think he might be teasing you! Because you don't like the restaurant he's saying that you are going there and then to the cinema - maybe that is the decoy for his surprise?!
 

murphysmom

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If he isnt tricking you, in my opinion, let him pick at least one.. I hate to admitt it but after 13 years of being with my husband.. .he doesnt like to pick out anything for me.. I guess in the past I was too honest about what I liked and didnt like... so now he just prefers I pick everything which can spoil some of the fun
 

februa

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Wow. I have to say that you have a great husband. Learned the lesson the first time, and how attentive and loving must he be to have picked a restaurant that he believed would remind you of home? Too bad you do feel so negatively about it....if like you said he is willing to change the reservation, get right on this so you can both have a great valentines day. At least he got a chance to know in advance his well thought of and well meaning idea would be disliked like you, so now you can plan something that you will both enjoy. Surprises backfire close to half of the time.....
 

rockcat

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Turtlecat, do you like to cook? My experience with dining out on Valentines Day is that ALL restaurants are WAY too crowded and MOST have a limited menu. IF you feel like cooking a romantic dinner, then you can still go to the movies (and you won't be dressed up). Otherwise, since the restaurant will be so busy, you might be late for the movie. Use the "busy restaurant" excuse with hubby.
 

sweets

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Originally Posted by squirtle

You go make reservations at a place that you really like and tell him that his offer was really sweet but that you had all ready made reservations for dinner to suprise HIM on Valentines Day
I like this idea! As for the movie, sometimes you have to bite your tongue and say Sure Honey, whatever you want. I watch the Superbowl every year with a half dozen rowdy men and I can't stand football.
 

batgirl2good

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I like this idea!

Originally Posted by squirtle

You go make reservations at a place that you really like and tell him that his offer was really sweet but that you had all ready made reservations for dinner to suprise HIM on Valentines Day
 

rapunzel47

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Originally Posted by Rockcat

Turtlecat, do you like to cook? My experience with dining out on Valentines Day is that ALL restaurants are WAY too crowded and MOST have a limited menu. IF you feel like cooking a romantic dinner, then you can still go to the movies (and you won't be dressed up). Otherwise, since the restaurant will be so busy, you might be late for the movie. Use the "busy restaurant" excuse with hubby.
I like this idea A LOT! A good compromise, that would also give you the opportunity later, casually, to mention that you're just as glad you didn't end up at that restaurant, because while you know he was trying to be thoughtful, you just don't care for it.
 

jcat

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Denise, I think I'd just go along with his plans, and let that be part of your Valentine's Day present to him. He's trying, which is more than a lot of guys do, so he should get some credit for it. You can always wait a few weeks, and then make some sort of negative remark about the restaurant.
 
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turtlecat

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Beh. Unfortunately, he knows I haven't. And, unfortunately the fancy cookery is always turned out by him. (he barely lets me use the crock pot.) And, as he heard my remark to my friend, he already knows I don't care for it. ah well.

I suppose I'm wondering if there's a polite way to ask something a little less.. "wear your best outfit so we can go somewhere where everyone else is wearing jeans.."
 
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