We both feel pretty strongly about me being home for our daughter, and originally we planned to homeschool. (I have big philosophical differences with the design of our current educational system, which is why even tho' I am Catholic, I haven't really considered parochial school either, but I won't go into that here.) However, if one of us us miserable, then it seems like it isn't working out. I don't mean the usual momemts of blah that happen with every job, I mean overwhelmed and unhappy on a regular basis.
My daughter is pretty much old enough to articulate most of her desires and needs, being 5. She also doesn't have the kind of issues your son is facing, and she loves to be around other children. So perhaps a non-traditional school, like a Montessori (Catechesis of the Good Shepherd is, in fact, Catholic Montessori), would be good for her.
Plus, the idea is that I would work or school something less than full time and probably either early morning or evening hours. So he could adjust his hours accordingly and be home with her. He used to work at home because he was self-employed so she misses him terribly and he is a pretty hands-on dad.
Like everything, there is a trade off. I could cynically say, we are trading ideals for quality of life, but it's not that simple. People change, our needs change. Even tho' we chose this a while ago, maybe we didn't understand the full implications of it? So maybe we should just try something new. I think it would increase both stability (predictable income not based on someone's feeling psychologically good enough to work) and flexibility (he wouldn't feel so trapped and could pursue something more interesting).
I agree with Dawn. Dads who support their families are just as under-appreciated as moms who stay home. After all, aren't they just doing what they're "supposed" to do? It takes a heroic effort to spend your days doing something, that you won't see the benefit of for years. It's very grounding and healthy for kids to be around someone consistently who loves them like a parent does. (Which is probably the single biggest problem with day care, an inconsistent caregiver over time.)
So, how about a big round of applause for all the people who pour out their lives for their children, whatever form that takes!