or Connect
TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › this can't be happening :(
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

this can't be happening :(

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 
my mom told my dad it's ovthey have been bickering a little bit and slept in seperate places last night..I had no idea it would come to this you might be thinking I am over-reacting but I am not at all this is the first time she has ever announced this..er and she was looking up divorce forms online
post #2 of 15
Aww, sweetie, I'm sooo sorry... I know what it's like... my parents divorced when I was 15 and it was really hard for me... If you ever need to talk dont hesistate to PM me!! or email me... I'm here for you, if you want...
post #3 of 15
Maybe they just need a break from each other for a while. I am sorry you have to go through that.
post #4 of 15
I broke up with my husband when our daughter was 15. One of our concerns was to make sure she felt loved and informed by both of us, and that she was able to see both of us as often as she wanted, and that has worked out fine, 14 years later. I am sure your Mom and Dad feel the same way about you - try and keep talking to them, I am sure they need it, but they must make the right decision for them, keeping your interests in mind. It is an awful thing to divorce, but sometimes it works out better all round. My daughter thinks we are all happier now. I hope you get through this time as well as can be expected and come out the other end OK.
post #5 of 15
Remember, they love you even if they don't want to spend time together. It is not your fault and adults sometimes act immature. We are all human and like cat's we do not always get along all the time. I wish the best for you and them and I hope you can all get some family councling. Best wishes.
post #6 of 15
aw beb I know exactly how you feel. My parents separated only a couple of years ago - and the divorce process is just starting - and I'm 22. I took it really badly. It pretty much always comes as a shock I guess... but look at it this way... if this is for real, then perhaps it is going to be the best thing in the longer term for everyone. Would you rather have to parents together and miserable and bickering all the time... or two parents apart and happy? I know it's a strange way to look at it all just now when you're feeling all screwed up inside and upset, but eventually it will be how you look at it. I always though that my parents would be together forever... well they're not. It's just something you have to adapt to. To be honest, I've more or less forgotten what it was like when we were all together and it's a good thing for me to be like that with all the problems I have of my own. If it's something they have to do, let them do it. You could offer an ear to listen to them - but I'd advise against that, because one will only finish up down-talking the other and that messes you up even more. The really important thing to remember is that no matter how they fight with eachother, they BOTH love you with everything that they are. That's what parents do (it's in the job description in the fine print somewhere ) If you can stay out of the situation as much as possible, it will give you the chance to work things out in your own head and give them the space to do what they need to do. It will be hard, I'll not lie, but it will be ok in the end. You will have to be strong for a little while - but if you ever need someone, you're always more than welcome to talk to me hun. Take care and chin up
post #7 of 15
Emma is absolutely right! (Wow, finally someone as wise as me ) LoL
Seriously tho... she's right... when my parents separated I realized that it was the best thing for everyone... they were no good to me when they were fighting with each other constantly... I would also advise against lending an ear because they will inevitably talk bad about each other and may force you to take sides... That was the mistake that I made when my parents were getting divorced... I listened to my father and i turned on my mother and our relationship has been a disaster ever since... The only reason that was even possible tho is because my mother was the one who was wrong and my father actually proved it to me by showing me what she was doing... long story but he really never should have done that... Now, it's almost 8 years later and I have a horrible relationship with both of them... So, dont do what I did... dont allow yourself to take either side.. remember that they are your parents, they love you and just because they love you doesnt mean that they will always love each other... It wouldnt be fair for them to stay in a relationship that doesnt make them happy... And, like I said earlier... If you ever need to talk, I'm just a PM away...
post #8 of 15
Emma is right.
Infact my parents were seperating back in december.
She went into hospital and stopped drinking... they have been at it for years.
THeir bikkering sounds worse than yours though.
I agree with the others that they might need some time appart.
My way of dealing with it i had a supportive bf and we moved into our own appartment. now i have my peace and dont have to worry every second about their bikkering
post #9 of 15
They are all right - when I said talk to them I didn't mean take sides - that would be the worst thing to do. I just meant keep the lines of communication open between you and both of them. When these things happen it is too easy for everyone to retreat into their shells and all kinds of misunderstandings happen. It is necessary, and so difficult, for everyone to keep a cool head and try not to be hurtful.
post #10 of 15
Thread Starter 
when I said talk to them I didn't mean take sides

I know that I don't take sides I try to be fair I haven't talked to my mom yet because she went to the bank just now but I will sit down and talk to her before I got to school so I don't have to worry too much.
post #11 of 15
I'm sorry to hear what you are going through.
post #12 of 15
Well wishing vibes and condolences coming your way(((((( ))))))).
post #13 of 15
Sorry to hear this, just over a year ago my Mum split up with her boyfriend of 13 years I took it really hard!
post #14 of 15
Thread Starter 
I asked my mom when I was in the van before she dropped me off for school if my dad and her are getting along better now and she said yes thank god I don't have to worry anymore!
post #15 of 15
That's good to hear sweetie. Hopefully they can at last put differences aside and work out this little tangle. I do think your mother should stop threatening a divorce though. I know it's not my place to say that, but it does seem very childish to resort to that every time they argue. I hope things can be patched up better than they were to start with. Hugs all round from me
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: The Cat Lounge
TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › this can't be happening :(