Got a problem and need advice

Well as some of you know I have been waiting for quite some time to get in to see a pain management doctor. Now after several months my time is here or will be on Feb 8th.

My problem is that Ken's Mom is having a rather serious surgery on her artries on that same day. I really want to be there and wait with Ken to show my love and support for him and his Mom, but I just don't know if I can get into this clinic again.

It took an act of congress just to get in for this first visit. Ken has said that he understands and I should go ahead and go to the pain management clinic since I have a chronic problem and really need to go to this appointment in order to get my gremlin under control. It wouldn't be so bad but it will be a 2 hour trip there and back plus the time I spend at the doc's office too. I really feel guilty about not being there for his Mom though

I really don't want to continue to suffer in silence as I have done that for the past 8 years...well it's time for some relief. Am I wrong? Should I cancel this appointment?

Hello Cathi hon ... I would go ahead and go with your appointment. I know that You want to be there for Ken and mom... But if You are not feeling good then what good is that going to do? You have to get yourself well because of your meaning to the people that love you.... You want to live a long life and dont want to have people worry about You. Just let D/H know that you will be there with him and mom in spirit.... But in order to get yourself well, You have to take this important appointment. Take care hon .

I would send a care package along with your hubby for his mom- her favorite magazines, some hard candy or something she can suck on, maybe a nice lap robe? But keep your appointment as well- it's not like you are going in to have a wart removed!

Like Hissy said, this isn't something minor. This has taken forever to happen and is greatly needed. I'm sure they understand. I would send a card or flowers and go to your appt. You have to take care of yourself or you won't be able to take care of them.

What they said, Cathi. Remember, the first step in taking care of your loved ones is to take care of you, so that you can be there for them. This is not frivolous. This is seriously tending your well-being. Believe Ken when he says he understands. You'll be there in spirit. I like MA's suggestion of a care package, too.

Thank you guys. I am really feeling guilty about not being there for her and Ken when they need me. I am taking MA's suggestion and will fix her up with my own little special care package and of course I will be there later on that day to see her if all goes well. I can also keep in contact with the cell too if need be even though I am not sure if it's okay to use one in the hospital.

I think for me I might be seeing a small beam of light shining at the end of the longest blackest tunnel. It is just within the reach of my finger tips for me to live a somewhat normal life(whatever normal is) For me that will be the very best Valentines present of all

Cathi, I think you made a great decision - I'm sure Kens Mum will definitly understand, and that care package will be something very special for her! Good luck with your app Cathi.

I'm glad to hear you are keeping your appointment. And I'm sure Ken's mother will understand. Sometimes we have to take care of ourselves before we can take care of others.

I too think that you should go to your appointment. But I do have a suggestion.......I know that you said that it was hard to get into this clinic but you could call and explain the situation and see if they could fit you in the day before or after if being at her surgery is real important to you. You could also ask that they call you if they have a cancellation before your appointment. All they can do is say "No" and if that happens then you simply keep your appointment.

Good luck!

I'm so relileved you've made the decision to keep your appt, Cathi, and definately agree that you're doing the best thing.You've suffered for so long, it's time for you to take care of yourself for a change.

I really think that self preservation is kicking in here for me. I am at my breaking point with this mind numbing pain all the time. As much as I love Ken and his Mom I must take care of me first. I have been having some pretty dark thoughts lately as I don't want to continue living my life this way. Just me putting this on here right this minute has made me realize just how dark those thoughts are for me and I'm scared of these thoughts too.

I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE OF THIS PAIN! There I screamed it out for the world to see. I am not as strong as I would like to think I am. For once I am going to be selfish and think of only me.